tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-736448434152217111.post2066012798898328799..comments2023-10-19T11:27:25.565-04:00Comments on Nutwood Junction: Asking for itBethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05149068921334726430noreply@blogger.comBlogger12125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-736448434152217111.post-52962844292922985282010-12-23T13:55:20.932-05:002010-12-23T13:55:20.932-05:00Beth, I sit with you on this one, no surprise I...Beth, I sit with you on this one, no surprise I'm sure. Rape is about power, not sex. No one, male or female should have to feel that a mode of dress or a provocative behavior somehow means that another person isn't responsible for controlling themselves around that person and treating them with dignity and respect. The problem is that we have a world full of perpetrators who don't want to respect or show dignity to many groups of people. That's the real problem. <br /><br />Glad you referenced The Accused. Everyone needs to see it.Kyle Leachhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13369076904327452139noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-736448434152217111.post-52086609526331753772010-12-11T11:15:14.768-05:002010-12-11T11:15:14.768-05:00Wow...the teacher is a jackass. Hard to imagine s...Wow...the teacher is a jackass. Hard to imagine someone actually feels that way. Your post was dead on, no need to elaborate on my part.<br />xx<br />LisaLisahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01177123397341454032noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-736448434152217111.post-14232870859375090882010-12-10T22:17:53.121-05:002010-12-10T22:17:53.121-05:00It is a sad day when we accuse the victim instead ...It is a sad day when we accuse the victim instead of the perpetrator.Ken Richeshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09425810816600512504noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-736448434152217111.post-79136173266545390642010-12-10T20:55:01.251-05:002010-12-10T20:55:01.251-05:00So, here's me, a married (happy for the past 1...So, here's me, a married (happy for the past 16 years and looking forward to at least 50 more...), father of a vibraint, beautiful 12 year old, husband to a wife who was sexually assualted, feeling that I don't know where to draw the line. From a personal freedom POV I'd say wear what you want and shoot the bastard if he bothers you too much. BUT, I'll not let my daughter out in anything I think might be provocative. Unfortunately for all of us, diviantes have rights, and if we shoot them we end up in jail. Not attracting idiotic from the idiot out there is a good strategy. Survival has no morality.Alanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08442419546836689939noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-736448434152217111.post-27155304683563847342010-12-10T17:36:26.921-05:002010-12-10T17:36:26.921-05:00I agree that rape is a horrible crime of power and...I agree that rape is a horrible crime of power and that women (and men) who are raped most certainly do not, in any way, ask for that treatment.<br /><br />I also believe that consensual sex between two people is a wonderful thing.<br /><br />But I do notice that in western culture, women's clothing shows more skin than does men's; yes, there are exceptions, but even conservative business attire accents or compliments the feminine form. I think it is disingenuous to completely dismiss that feminine attire and appearance does not convey some level of subconscious sexual attraction. this is NOT the same as "asking for it" by a long shot!Robert the Skeptichttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10863488312604865183noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-736448434152217111.post-65632389847602922652010-12-10T15:56:27.170-05:002010-12-10T15:56:27.170-05:00I remember when I was a young girl (way back last ...I remember when I was a young girl (way back last century) that we would talk about things socially like that, about women "asking for it" and not really knowing what the "it" and probably just repeating stuff we heard. Totally could not imagine a teacher talking about stuff like that, however. Especially in context of a "sex ed" class.Fluffycathttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05428451230435663963noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-736448434152217111.post-75782491440121942892010-12-10T15:40:52.363-05:002010-12-10T15:40:52.363-05:00There is nothing about rape that has to do with an...There is nothing about rape that has to do with anyone 'asking for it'. As you said in your post, it is all about power and has less to do with someone dressing provactively as it does someone who feels (or is made to feel) inadequate in their life, acting on his frustration and victimizing someone else.<br /><br />Attitudes like the one of the teacher is enabled by the attitudes not dissimilar to 'CMP's comment contains... looking for attention means that it is okay to dehumanize and brutalize a woman. As far as being able to deal with uncontrollable urges, we all are from the apes... God may have made man, but he used the monkey to do it!<br /><br />Some are not as far removed from their lineage, it seems.Big Mark 243https://www.blogger.com/profile/10974573439218884164noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-736448434152217111.post-45059488743800940602010-12-10T13:05:41.840-05:002010-12-10T13:05:41.840-05:00A lot of people respect me and my writing, so I...A lot of people respect me and my writing, so I'll use myself as an example. I was raped and one of the questions asked during pretrial had been - "What were you wearing?"<br /><br />So naturally I would have bit this teacher's head off, if I had heard his comments. <br /><br />In my case, I just happen to be in the wrong place at the wrong time, an easy target. It had nothing to do with what I was wearing, yet the question did come up. What I wore/wear now has nothing to do with who I am as a person then or now. I most definitely wasn't asking for it.<br /><br />This question also came up in therapy once (I fired my therapist) suggesting how I dressed attracted the wrong kind of guys and was in part responsible for me getting beat almost to death.<br /><br />What this does is place the blame on the victim, not the source of the violence and hatred. <br /><br />I had thought in this day and age, we would be beyond judging a book by it's cover. Apparently, I was wrong. How a woman dresses shouldn't dictate an excuse for how she's respected, or give assumption to her moral standards, or violating her rights . (Hugs)IndigoSage Ravenwoodhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17143502548162174269noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-736448434152217111.post-50152386152590198072010-12-10T11:58:07.083-05:002010-12-10T11:58:07.083-05:00My Mom and StepDad have this argument all the time...My Mom and StepDad have this argument all the time. He constantly says she's asking for it too. Geeesh....I agree they are looking for attention of some sort, approval from their peers maybe...but not sex or RAPE!!!! BUT, have you tried to buy girls/teens clothes? You can barely comply with school length rules because everything is so freaking short or thin!!Sharonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05430156729264046374noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-736448434152217111.post-16879795209636045312010-12-10T08:19:53.482-05:002010-12-10T08:19:53.482-05:00I'm so glad I don't have kids -- well, hum...I'm so glad I don't have kids -- well, human kids.Toonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02867993460493875221noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-736448434152217111.post-11503300367982392522010-12-10T02:07:17.371-05:002010-12-10T02:07:17.371-05:00Paul, there is no crime against looking for attent...Paul, there is no crime against looking for attention. Rape and other sexual assault crimes are not about sex; they are about power. As Beth points out, victims may be old, young, attractive, unattractive. What the woman is wearing does not cause the offender to lose control and brutalize her. If a woman walks down the street as nude as the legendary Lady Godiva, you can look, but unless she invites you to do so, no one gets to touch her. Instead of worrying about how girls and women dress, as a society we need to be focused on why some boys and men have such an overwhelming need to attack females. They're the ones with the real problem.<br /><br />Beth, I'm so with yo. This teacher should not be teaching sex ed classes. His ideas are antiquated and dangerous for the messages that they convey to the female students and also to the male students.<br /><br />Saw the Jodie Foster movie and had the same visceral reaction. The real life case that inspired the film had a significant impact on how rape cases were treated in the court system, leading to some of the changes in how victims are treated in the legal system. For many years,rape was the only crime where the victim was looked at as possibly bearing some responsibility for provoking the crime. <br /><br />The person who goes to the bank machine at 2:00 am and withdraws $100 is never accused of provoking robbery by being out so late alone and flashing money. The person who leaves the car engine running while he runs into the post office is never accused of provoking the car thief into stealing his car.<br />Get into a verbal argument with someone who pulls out a gun and shoots you and no court is going to entertain a defense that the victim provoked the shooter into killing him. Rape is a crime, period, and the fault lies with the perpetrator.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04614116686638969278noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-736448434152217111.post-72634327318388147292010-12-10T00:11:39.890-05:002010-12-10T00:11:39.890-05:00While I don't agree that women who dress provo...While I don't agree that women who dress provocatively are "asking for it," I do think they are looking for attention, and I think that it is naive of them to think that somehow they won't get any negative attention along with the positive.Call me Paulhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17704646008578216859noreply@blogger.com