Life is Just a Party

...and parties weren’t meant to last

~~ “1999”, Prince

Unless you live in a cave, you’ve heard by now that we have lost another musician, the great Prince.

I’m not going to write about his life. There have been numerous stories about that, and numerous tributes to his kind, gentle, and caring nature. By all accounts, he was a genuinely decent human being who tried to do good things in this world.

I’m not going to write about his death. There has been a lot of speculation but nothing concrete yet. It is an ongoing investigation, so I’ll refrain from doing any speculation of my own. Besides, it’s still a little too hard for me to think about in any detail.

I’m also not going to write about the outpouring of love throughout the world for the man and his contribution to music. You’ve seen the pictures from all over the world of buildings and other things glowing purple: the Eiffel Tower, Niagara Falls...heck, our own South Bend River Lights were lit up in his honor.

What I’m going to write about is the personal response I’ve seen from some. Maybe it’s because I feel genuine anguish at his death (not quite as bad as what I felt when Bowie died, but pretty damn close) and it makes me want to lash out. I don’t know, but I feel that I need to defend myself and everyone around the world for our depth of feeling at his loss. I want to defend him, too, and explain why we are mourning him.

Because there are always the people who feel the need to say, “So? Big deal. He’s a musician and no one important. Why should I care?”

First of all, why don’t you just shut the fuck up and let us go about our grieving? No one asked you and no one cares that you don’t care.

Now that I’ve got that off my chest, I’ll expound a little further. It’s fine if you aren’t a fan. It’s fine if you don’t listen to music at all. But some of us are and some of us do. In fact, for some of us, music is a defining part of our life. It is what we turn to when we are sad or happy; triumphant or in despair; celebrating or commiserating. There are certain songs and certain artists who are part of the soundtrack of our lives (I know that’s a trite phrase, but it’s apt). Music can bring us to tears and it can make us dance with joy.

For those of us a certain age, Prince was very much a part of that soundtrack. His music reminds us of good times and bad, loves found and loves lost, or just going out clubbing with friends and dancing till we were dripping with sweat and loving every moment of it. (I may or may not have danced in a cage once or twice to a Prince song. No photos so it didn’t happen.)

What I’m trying to say is that just because you can’t relate doesn’t mean that the rest of us are not feeling true anguish over his loss. I’ve seen people who weren’t fans of his music still acknowledge that he was an amazing musician, a phenomenal talent, and an incredibly charismatic performer. To make a point of saying that you really couldn’t care less is not only disrespectful to one of the great talents of our time, it is negating and ridiculing what so many of us are feeling.

I suppose I should be used to people who completely lack the ability to feel empathy for what others are feeling, but I guess I’m not quite that jaded. It still surprises me. For anyone who doesn’t get the power of music, no matter the genre, I feel sorry for you. The best artists can generate a communal energy that is incredible and powerful and dare I say...life-affirming? It certainly is for me!

For anyone who just doesn’t get why anyone would feel genuine sorrow over someone they’ve never met, I’m reminded of the wise person who answered that question after Bowie’s death by saying that we don’t mourn them because we knew them. We mourn them because they helped us know ourselves.

Look out for that volcano!

 We are off for Hawaii soon!

I have everything laid out and Ken is doing the packing tonight. Although he has been there once before, it will be my first time to our 50th state, and I’m quite excited about it.

We have some fun things we want to do, like a visit to Volcanoes National Park, a sunset boat ride, and checking out the big manta rays. There is a tiki bar in Kona that we must hit, and Ken will golf at least one day (I hope to go along and drive the cart). We will definitely do a luau. But mostly we’re just going to take it easy and see what adventures we can scare up. I’m sure we’ll hang out poolside and on the beach, and I got a couple of retro swimsuits (one with skulls!) that will be fun to wear. I’m taking my good binoculars so that I can do a little birding and maybe add a few to my Life List.

I’m sure we’ll eat fresh seafood until it’s coming out our ears. We probably have to eat some Spam at some point, too, don’t we?

I think I’m most excited about seeing the volcanoes. I have never seen one and I think it will be awe-inspiring. I told my sister that I will do my best not to fall into one, but wouldn’t that be a pretty awesome way to go? Talk about going out in a blaze of glory!

On the way out, we’ll get to have dinner with our friend Todd in San Francisco, and on the way back, we’ll spend a couple of days in San Diego to visit with our nieces Heather and Jen, Heather’s husband Rey and their son Liam, as well as Ken’s brother (Mike) and nephew (Adam), and Adam’s wife Kendra and their new baby. It’s going to be a busy but fun trip!

I will miss Sheeba, but Uncle Shane and Uncle Matt will take good care of him, as always.

I don’t know how much I’ll update here, but I’ll post photos on Facebook and update as I can.

It’s supposed to get down to 29° tonight, so I’m looking forward to plenty of warmth and sunshine.

Happy trails to us!

Photos from the resort website.

Beth’s Music Moment: John Taylor’s “Techno For Two”

For the past year or so, I’ve been listening to Duran Duran pretty much exclusively. I occasionally make exceptions, like playing John Taylor’s three solo albums! (I’m exaggerating, but not much. DD/JT is on heavy rotation in my head, and I keep finding new things to love.)

These albums weren’t easy to come by. I think the second two were only released in Japan, so I had to order them from there. (Thank you, third party Amazon sellers!) This was his third solo album, released in 2001, and it has become my favorite. It has been interesting to see his evolution as a solo artist on these albums.

1995’s “Feelings Are Good And Other Lies” shows his punk roots—Steve Jones of the Sex Pistols even played guitar on that one. It’s very raw, in the DIY punk style, and he sounds like a man with many demons. I don’t know exactly what year he went to rehab, but it was probably around this time.

His second album, eponymously titled and released in 1999, seems much calmer and more introspective. Maybe I’m just putting my own notions onto it, but he seems more at peace.

In “Techno For Two,” he seems to have found a nice balance between all of these elements, including his love for a killer bass groove. It is not a techno album, but there are definitely some danceable tracks on this one. As part of Duran Duran’s rhythm section, his bass sets the tone for so many of their songs. It is fascinating to me to see not just his evolution as a solo artist (he doesn’t have the vocal chops of Simon Le Bon, but you can clearly hear his improvement as a vocalist over the three albums, and there are moments where he sounds very much like David Bowie) but to also recognize the part he plays in the band. I never paid that much attention to the bass in various songs but JT has changed that for me. Listening to his solo albums made me realize exactly what he brings to the band and how they all work together to make such fantastic music.

The other thing that strikes me about his album is how personal it is. A casual listener probably wouldn’t pick up on it, but knowing some of his story and reading his autobiography makes me think that certain songs are about certain people, and his lyrics seem to touch on many things in his personal life. Whether it’s about finding a lasting love with his wife Gela or his struggles with addiction, he truly seems to write songs from his heart. (Is the song “Mansman” about Simon? “You’re the king of the band.” Hmm, maybe!) Again, because I’ve never read anything about what inspired him to write these songs, this is only speculation on my part. But “You’re gonna fuck your life away” in the song “Mister J” certainly sounds autobiographical, as does “He was a child of the eighties...he flew too close to the sun” in the song “Nagel Baby.” (JT’s full name is Nigel John Taylor.)

I think this is a really solid album with plenty of well-crafted pop songs and some tasty bass grooves. It has given me a deeper appreciation of his talent and of what he brings to the band. Here are a few of my favorite tracks. Sadly, I couldn’t find “Mister J” anywhere, and it is one of my favorites on the album!

Turn it up!

The opening track is “Love Is Bondage.” I love how it builds slowly with the keyboards and a quiet riff, then kicks in with the riff louder and some great guitar.

“Tight” is another favorite. This one has a definite techno vibe and it’s got sexyfuntimes written all over it.

“The Other Side of the Sun” has one of those killer bass grooves that he does so well. Play that fuckin’ bass, John!

“Gabe” is a little more mellow, just a real pleasant vibe to it. It also has one of the most infectious choruses I’ve ever heard. I could sing “Gabe you’ll see a side of me” all damn day. I love when everything but the drums stop and we get to hear all the harmonies in the chorus.

Why so serious?

After Hillary Clinton’s speech on Tuesday night (she had won 4 of 5 contests that night, and apparently has also narrowly won Missouri, completing her sweep), a few pundit fellas took to the Twitters and told her that she won, she should smile. And that she was shouting. And that she seemed angry.

::sigh::

It dismays me that women are still held to some weird standard that dictates that we can’t get angry, or if we do, we should put on a happy face and not project our anger.

Well, fuck that.

Plenty of us are angry at the erosion of our hard-earned rights to reproductive freedom and we are angry about STILL not getting equal pay for equal work, and we are angry about sometimes being treated as less than competent as workers and as leaders. In Clinton’s speech, she was talking about many of these things, as well as things like gun violence and Governor Rick Snyder’s incompetence and complicity in the Flint water crisis (who cares if the browns get a little brain damage from lead poisoning, right Rick?).

But come on, Hillary. Give us a smile!

This is so offensive to me as a woman. What is it about having a uterus that makes men think they can tell us how to comport ourselves? That we aren’t agreeable enough, or that our passion and outrage is somehow unseemly or unfeminine? Look pretty and smile a little! That’s a good girl.

It is incredibly condescending and it pisses me off. Next time you get into an argument with a woman who is fired up about something, tell her to calm down or tell her to smile. Let me know how that works out for you.

It resulted in a discussion between me and Ken, but because we are both rational people, we managed to understand where each other was coming from. He maintained that sometimes she does sound like she is shouting, and I said, “What wrong with that at a rally?” He said sure, that’s fair. I said that I think she did get the message about toning it down a bit in debates and she has handled herself well lately. If it ends up being her vs Trump in a debate, that ability will serve her well. If she can keep her cool when subjected to the personal attacks that he is bound to bring, she will only prove that she can handle anything thrown at her.

Women can and do get angry about things, and we get passionate about things. I object to the ridiculous standard that we shouldn’t show our anger or our passion. I am honestly more committed to rational discussion and reasonable discourse, but if I get pissed off about something, you’ll know it.

[smiling]

Paper Gods

And when the final curtain finally comes down

We'll all be in the party room, no wiser as to how

The total human race became a basket case

It's nothing to lose face about, it's really not our place to doubt it

~~ Duran Duran, “Paper Gods”

Maybe not the total human race, but apparently a sizable portion of the American electorate has become basket cases.

It seems that the Republican party is on track to nominate Donald Trump (AKA the Vulgar Talking Yam, according to Charlie Pierce) for president. I find myself vacillating between laughter and despair.

I find it dismaying that anyone can fall for this scam artist’s lines and believe that he would be, in any way, good for our country. Even more dismaying is that I don’t doubt that I have family members who are supporting him. I honestly question their judgment, their intelligence, and even their basic sense of humanity.

I’m trying to maintain a sense of humor about it and I can laugh when I see Trump answer questions about where he is getting his advice concerning foreign policy by saying, “I’m speaking with myself. I have a very good brain.” But it’s getting harder and harder to find the humor in any American embracing this unqualified, narcissistic, misogynistic, demagogic, bullying TOOL.

It’s easy to think that the Democratic nominee (who looks increasingly likely to be Hillary Clinton) will have an easy time in defeating him. I take nothing for granted and none of my fellow Democrats should, either. It is vital that we ensure that this schoolyard bully gets nowhere near the White House. Not only are his proposals absurd, he would destroy any good will around the world that President Obama has generated.

I don’t know about you, but being a laughingstock does not not sit well with me. The thought of our entire country becoming a laughingstock for electing this buffoon is abhorrent.

The primaries aren’t over yet, but we are edging closer. Let’s make sure that we aren’t edging closer to the abyss.

Reading List:

It Can’t Happen Here by Sinclair Lewis

Christian Nation: A Novel by Frederic C. Rich

It’s a long way from Cicero to Omaha

Although my TV obsession favorite continues to be The Walking Dead, I have come to love another AMC show, Better Call Saul.

Although most of you probably know this already, a brief synopsis of the show is that it chronicles the journey of Breaking Bad’s sleazy lawyer, Saul Goodman. We know at the conclusion of Breaking Bad that Saul ends up with a new identity far from Albuquerque. Better Call Saul addresses Jimmy McGill’s (Saul’s real name) early days as a scam artist in Cicero, Illinois to his efforts to get his law practice going in Albuquerque. (We also get to see his post-BB identity as Gene the Cinnabon manager in Omaha.)

Why has this show grabbed me? Well, I always enjoyed Saul on BB; he had a sort of insouciant charm. Learning more about his character and background has made me come to genuinely like him. This is a man who clawed his way into some sort of respectability but continues to struggle with his flaws. He gets off on scamming people and talking his way out of situations. This sometimes serves him well in his new career as a lawyer, but it also causes some major and dangerous problems for him. He has a genuine compassion for those who are wronged (like nursing home residents) and a sense of justice that urges him to do the right thing...even if the methods he uses to get to that point aren’t always on the up-and-up. (Just ask the Kettlemans.)

He also has great loyalty to his friend and semi-girlfriend Kim, but especially to his older brother, Chuck. This is the most compelling part of the show for me. I won’t go into details of their relationship because that would mean some major spoilers. But this is a complex relationship in which Jimmy looks up to his big brother and desperately wants his approval. I’ve come to believe after the dozen or so episodes so far that Jimmy’s relationship with Chuck is the major factor in Jimmy’s transformation from justice-minded Jimmy to sleazebag-with-a-good-heart Saul. The core of Jimmy is still there, but betrayal and disappointment lead him to utilize some decidedly shady tactics, perhaps as a way to flip Chuck the finger. This is still playing out, so we’ll see where it ends up.

Some have criticized the show for its slow pace. I completely disagree. The writers are crafting a masterful tale of the transformation of a man: scam artist to mailroom clerk to self-made lawyer (University of American Samoa—go Land Crabs!) to legal representative of drug dealers. I find this utterly fascinating and love every moment of Jimmy’s path.

This has become one of a scarce handful of shows that I want to watch multiple times in order to pick up on things I missed the first time and subtle nuances that might give me clues about what is to come. (Although you don’t need to have watched Breaking Bad to enjoy this show, there are also some great callbacks to that show.) I’ve come to love the show and characters enough to feel fully invested in them and have decided to start a Facebook thread about the show similar to my Dead Thread, in which some of us discuss the latest episode. Is it weird to get this involved in TV shows? Maybe. But I’m a pop culture junkie, and I love feeling that passion and connecting with others who share it.

It also has given us the term “squat-cobbler,” which will live on in infamy and will serve as a coolness test when meeting future friends. You get it? Okay, I automatically like you!

Who wants some pie?!

Hail, Arturo!

I really like cataloguing the books that I read and usually write a brief review. Several years ago, I joined Shelfari and have tracked all the books I read there. A couple of years ago, I also joined Goodreads. (I forget what prompted me to do that, but I’m glad I did.) Then I tracked using both sites.

I recently got a notice from Shelfari that it would be merging with Goodreads. Fortunately, they offered a way to export all your info over to Goodreads, as well as downloading a file. I did that and most of my books transferred over, but there were over 40 books that didn’t. Not the end of the world, but it bothered me. Like I said, I really like tracking all the books I read!

I like having the record of it and to be totally honest, sometimes I forget if I’ve read a book, so it helps to be able to have a list handy. (A while back, I remember being all excited to read Game Change, until I got into it and realized, “Hey, I’ve read this already!” Mind like a sieve, I’m telling you.) I also enjoy having the ability to see what I thought of a book when I read it and what kind of a review I gave it. In Days of Yore, I kept a written journal (I still do that to some extent, just to make notes about books) and in prehistoric days, I wrote it all down on a yellow legal pad. My record-keeping was sporadic for many years, but for the past decade or so, I’ve been faithful about it.

I contacted Goodreads customer service and soon heard back from a representative, Arturo. He apologized for the problem and asked me to send him my file of books and he’d try exporting all of them on his end. A couple of days went by, but I heard back from him today. He was able to export them all! He sent me a link of the info and showed me via a screen grab of how to make sure the reviews were there. I checked and it’s all there. HUZZAH!

Arturo is my hero today. I thanked him profusely and asked if he had a supervisor who I could write to and tell what a great job Arturo did. Dealing with customer service can often be an exercise in frustration, but I am so pleased with this outcome. The problem was identified, he addressed it immediately, and was able to solve the problem. I appreciated his efforts and am happy at the results.

I haven’t heard back from him about contacting his supervisor, but I hope I do. If someone provides excellent service, I try to sing their praises to their supervisors. Not just because it can help them in their jobs, but because I remember what a boost it was in my own job to hear something as simple as, “Thank you. I really appreciate your help and you did a good job.”

So if someone helps you, be sure to let them know and go a little further, if you can, to let their supervisors know. It can mean a lot.