It's not paranoia if they're really out to get you

My pal Possum has pointed out something that I've been noticing for a couple of days now.

You know those word verification letters that some people use to screen out spam on their blogs? I've been noticing that lately a lot of them are starting to make...actual words. Not necessarily English words, but words that can be pronounced. In fact, I don't know what language this might be, but if I were a raging paranoiac, I might start thinking that Blogger is trying to communicate with us. Consider this: "Sheri, Mictin tansher cruntri, Crepo blittili; Simellid bilingen dinedys. Fuwho? Cultil, Ringo."

Who are Sheri and Ringo? And why are they sending cryptic messages to each other through Blogger? If one of us can crack this code, we could possibly expose one of the greatest conspiracies the world has ever imagined. Or possibly the universe, because how can we be certain that Sheri and Ringo are of this Earth? They could be Other. It could be Us vs. Them. We need to get crackin', people. The future of our world could depend on us!

Hey! Did you guys hear a voice?! [eyes darting] I think they're on to me. If you don't hear from me again, you'll know. Don't give up! No surrender! Liberté, égalité, fraternité, ou la mort! Wait, that's French. Don't mess with those bozos. They're over there in that there Paris, France, probably at that stupid Pasteur Institute, messin' around with fruit flies. And don't think that it's a coincidence that they're called "fruit" flies! You all know about the liberal fruit fly agenda, don't you? If not, email me your address. I'll send you a pamphlet.

Did you all catch Thursday night's Weekend Update? One of the things that had us cracking up was Fred Armisen and his Mega Map. I'm intrigued by the touchscreen technology that Microsoft is beginning to market to businesses, and one of my favorite things to see is John King and his map on CNN. You know...he enlarges states, circles cities, changes states from red to blue...it's amazing! Fred Armisen's take on it was hilarious, and I heard that the guy who is in charge of CNN's map actually trained him in the "Mega Map's" operation. This is the entire Weekend Update segment, but Fred's part is about a minute into it. I especially like what he does with Michigan at the end. Ha ha! It's not allowing me to embed, so check out the Mega Map here!

I kid you not!

Specific Brain Protein Required For Nerve Cell Connections To Form And Function

ScienceDaily (Sep. 10, 2007) — Neurons, or nerve cells, communicate with each other through contact points called synapses. When these connections are damaged, communication breaks down, causing the messages that would normally help our feet push our bike pedals or our mind locate our car keys to fall short.

Now scientists at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill School of Medicine have shown that a protein called neurexin is required for these nerve cell connections to form and function correctly.

The discovery, made in Drosophila fruit flies may lead to advances in understanding autism spectrum disorders, as recently, human neurexins have been identified as a genetic risk factor for autism.

"This finding now gives us the opportunity to see what job neurexin performs within the cell, so that we can gain a better insight into what can go wrong in the nervous system when neurexin function is lost" said Dr. Manzoor Bhat, associate professor of cell and molecular physiology in the UNC School of Medicine and senior author of the study.

The study, published online September 6, 2007, in the journal Neuron, is the first to successfully demonstrate in a Drosophila model the consequences that mutating this important protein may have on synapses.

*****

You can read the full story here. I kid you not, Gov. Palin, or anyone else who might be interested!

Stupid, good-for-nothing fruit flies. Everybody knows they don't do anything except fly all over your house when you have cantaloupe rinds in the garbage can. Who cares if those equally good-for-nothing scientists have been using them for decades to learn about stupid junk like genetics. What a bunch of losers.

We've got 11 days to go before the election, and I am giving you ample warning, folks. I have just about reached my limit with this woman, and I'm not sure how much longer I can stay in control over what I write here. You can feel free to take a break from me for the next couple of weeks if you don't care to read it, but I've had it up to here with her ignorance about innumerable subjects. Her glib dismissal of the humble fruit fly--haha, can you believe those dumbass scientists, messing around with a bunch of itty bitty flies?!--which has been an invaluable research tool for years and years, has pretty much sent me over the edge.

Ignorance is not a plus in politics, despite what many politicians seem to believe. Ignorant people get by all the time in local elections...sometimes in state elections...and not infrequently in national elections. However, we're talking the potential vice-president of the United States here, and this woman is no more qualified to hold such a high office than is our cat Sheeba. In fact, I insult Sheeba. I apologize to our kitty. At least he'd sleep for 22 hours a day and stay out of trouble. This woman wants to be in charge of the Senate. She wants to do stuff.

...my head...explosion is imminent...danger! danger!

I kid you not.

The Joy of Credit Cards

Note that I didn't say the Joy of Credit Card DEBT.

Ken has an American Express card account where he accumulates "points" for every purchase. (I have an American Express Blue, and I get points, too, but I don't use it nearly as much as Ken uses his card.) You can redeem these points for all kinds of items through American Express--appliances, electronics, kitchen gadgets, golf clubs, and even better, gift cards for restaurants and stores...and even better, general AmEx gift cards that can be used as cash.

A few years ago, we had accumulated enough points that we were able to get a pool table for the basement! We bought a ping pong tabletop for it later. If you let the points rack up, you can get some really cool stuff.

We were at the point where Ken had gotten a lot of points, and we started talking about what to do with them. We decided it would be really nice for Ken to have his own laptop for here at home, rather than having to haul his work laptop to and fro from work. We weren't thrilled with the choices through the American Express website, so we opted for AmEx gift cards and went to Circuit City today. Ken got a nifty Compaq notebook with plenty of RAM and a whopper (remember "War Games"?!) of a hard drive, and he's been getting it set up this afternoon. We've even got some cash left over, which we'll roll back over into the checking account. (By the way, it's taken a few years to get all these points--it doesn't happen overnight.)

Rewards cards are great, but here's a very BIG caveat: there is no advantage whatsoever to these cards unless you pay your balance in full every month. I don't care if you've got the lowest interest rate in the history of the credit card business, it's not low enough to justify racking up credit debt just to get the cash back or rewards, especially in the current economic atmosphere. We put almost everything on credit cards, including our groceries, but we pay off the balance on each card every month. Pretty cool to put groceries on the credit card and eventually end up with a pool table and a new laptop!

Only words?

I think I'm going to go back to a smaller font. Actually, this is just the normal size, but I'd been using "large." For some reason, I can't get comfortable with these fonts. I'll keep experimenting.

Ken is still snoozing--he had a very long day yesterday!--but I was laying there wide awake, so I thought I'd get up. It was a restless night, because I woke up a couple of times when I heard something outside. There are a lot of leaves in our front yard, and something was walking through the leaves outside our bedroom window. From the sound of it, it was a decent size, and from the cadence of the steps (step step step...pause...step), I'd guess it was a deer. At least I hope that's what it was. I suppose it could have been The Mummy. Sheeba heard it, too, and he sat up from his spot by my legs, and ran out of the room. I'm not sure to what purpose, but it's good to know he's vigilant!

Even though the sound of the rain was soothing, I couldn't go back to sleep, because I started thinking about the entry I want to make. Our friend Indigo writes occasionally about her past experiences at the hands of an abuser. It's no secret; she's open and honest about it, and she has become an advocate for those who find themselves in a similar position. One of the things I admire in her is her seemingly endless ability to not only survive, but to do so with grace and humor, and her unfailing need to help others if she can. Note the hotline number on the graphic and write it down if you need to. Indigo is currently asking for anyone who wants to participate to contribute their own story in the hopes that if someone finds themselves in an abusive relationship, they will know that they are not alone. It happens all the time, unfortunately, and maybe there is someone out there who will find strength in numbers, and know that there are people who have managed to get out of such relationships and have not only survived, but thrived. So here's my tale, and sorry about the length.

I'm fortunate in that my experience didn't include physical abuse (although it was edging dangerously close...more later), but I think everyone knows that verbal and emotional abuse can also cause harm. This particular guy (heretofore known as the ex) had a family connection which I won't go into, but that complicated things further. My sister warned me, but I foolishly ignored her and did what I wanted to do. I moved to be with this guy, and we eventually bought a house. Well...I bought a house. The deed was in my name. Before I moved, there were a couple of signs that something wasn't quite right, but I didn't think much of it. An increasingly sullen look, silence, followed by an irrational argument about something trivial...like I didn't wear what he thought I was going to wear when we went out the night before.

After we moved in together, those incidents got more and more frequent, and more intense. What started as arguments turned into shouting matches. I felt attacked and felt that I had to fight back, turning me into something I'm not. I made the mistake of telling him that I really hate to be called a bitch, so when the next argument occurred, he got in my face and very deliberately said, "BITCH." I can still see that triumphant look in his eyes, a sort of look that said, "There. I said it. Now what are you gonna do about it?" If I would try simply to get away, go in another room, he'd follow me and continue. If I tried to go to bed, he'd keep talking, and we'd be up until 3 or 4 in the morning, continuing these ridiculous arguments. This would continue for up to 3 days sometimes, until whatever rage was percolating in his mind was dissipated. Then came the tears. I'm so sorry, I'll never do it again, I looooooove you soooooo much...I'd die without you.

Until the next time. The silence would begin, the pouty look, and I knew it was coming. It got so that I was afraid to go home from work, because I never knew what I'd find. Sometimes I'd even get a phone call while I was at work, and I could tell by what was said and the tone of voice what I'd be facing when I got home. The name-calling escalated, and I went from just a plain old bitch to a cold-hearted bitch, and I eventually graduated to a f***ing c***. I got shoved a couple of times, and got kicked in the arm. When I got kicked I went cold, and at that point I said, "You will never again kick me or strike me like that. I mean it. Do you understand me?" Tears again. Dropping to his knees, crying, I'm so sorry I'll never do it again I love you...I'd die without you.

Then it was counseling. The guy he saw put him on medication for manic-depression, but that did no good. Next was Valium, I believe, and that seemed to take a bit of the edge off, but the attacks didn't go away. When my psychological testing came back and said that I was a normal, healthy individual (with a slight tendency towards addiction--I'm an ex-smoker, remember), he said, "I knew they'd say that. It's never you, it's always me." Nothing was changing, and it finally got to the point where he asked me if I even wanted to be in this relationship. I took a deep breath and said, "No. I want out."

And I didn't leave. I wonder why now. I suppose part of it was that I'd bought this house...how was I going to get out? Part of it was I didn't want to hurt our families. There was definitely an element of not wanting to admit failure. So I stayed. But the writing was on the wall, and it wasn't much longer. One evening after work, he started in on me, and as he was walking past me on his way to another room, he muttered, "You stupid shit."

Okay, I can laugh about this now, because after all the things I'd been called, this was what caused me to snap. I went running after him, pounded him on the chest, and yelled, "Don't call me stupid!" Ha ha ha! The fact that this illiterate asshole (who often used the word "literately" when he meant "literally") called me "stupid" was the straw that broke the camel's back! I knew I was going to be leaving soon, I just had to figure out how to do it. The decision was taken away from me later that week. I had been corresponding online with a guy in another city, and I got a call at work from the ex...he had found those emails. (My friend Bruce told me later that if I'd tried to hide those emails, I hadn't done it very well, and he thought that it was probably on purpose. I think he was right.)

It got pretty ugly from there. My sister came over and tried to talk to us, the ex alternated between rage and tears, and he said some pretty ugly and embarrassing things about me in front of my sister. She told him to leave so I could get some things together and we'd get out of there, and she told me not to worry about what he'd said. She knew he was just trying to hurt me. (Have I mentioned that I love my sister very much?) I spent a week with her, then stayed with my parents for a couple of months until my new apartment was ready. There were a few phone calls that took place, including one in which he said, "I'm sick. I'm mentally ill. Whatever happened to stand by your man?" I believe my reply was something like I hoped he could get some help, but that I just couldn't live like that. When he knew I wasn't coming back, he told everyone he talked to what a horrible person I was. I'd walk into a book store, and someone I'd briefly met at a museum function would say, "I saw your ex the other day! Boy, he is really upset about this and talked my ear off about it." My Mom talked to one of their neighbors who worked at a furniture store, and she said, "Your daughter's ex was in the other day...he said that when she left she took everything." (I'd taken the furniture I had before and left everything else, including my washer and dryer.) It went on for several months, and Mom told me, "Honey, the people that really know you will know the truth." Good advice, and she was right. My folks saw him at one point and Mom tried to be nice to him. She said, "I bet you kind of miss Beth Anne, huh?" He said, "I miss her money!" Classy. He got a loan and bought me out of the house, and I was DONE!

I heard that the ex (thank goodness I didn't marry him) broke down shortly after I left and had to be taken to the emergency room. As far as I know, he's doing okay now (I don't think he's ever gotten remarried, after his first marriage well before I came into the picture), but on the rare occasion that I see him at a family function, he flees the scene right after I arrive. Hmm! My sister Di has a degree in Social Work, and she told me later that she thinks the ex has borderline personality disorder, and that's one of the hardest things to treat. I didn't think much about it at the time, but some time later I was reading a web site where the woman was writing about her ex-husband's BPD. Almost every symptom and behavior fit my ex, from alternating between worshipful behavior and hatred, down to that exact phrase: "I'd die without you." So was it heartless of me to not "stand by my man?" Hell to the no! It was obvious that things would have continued to escalate, and it was equally obvious that he thought the problem wasn't with him...it was with me. And apparently every other woman he'd dated before me, who also couldn't stand to be with him for any length of time.

I believe you can always find the silver lining in a situation. While it was not a fun experience by any means, it told me that there was no way I could stomach being in that kind of a volatile relationship. When I met Ken, he had experienced some similar things (where you try to get away from the arguing, and they follow you), and also wanted no part of that. So based on our shared experiences, we knew that we both wanted no drama, no fights, no shouting matches. Remember me saying that past relationships brought out the worst in me? That's what happened with that ex. The opposite holds true with Ken, and part of that is probably because of what happened to both of us in previous relationships. I made it clear to him early on that name-calling, even in jest, was not cool with me, and he understood and doesn't do it. I appreciate that.

Maybe there are some who get off on the drama, who get a charge out of the adrenaline that comes with a fight. Hey, have a ball. Knock yourselves out, so to speak. I'll get my adrenaline rushes elsewhere.

I remember talking to my friend Pam at work about a lot of this stuff when it happened, and a few years later on. She told me that I'm about the last person on earth she'd expect to put up with that kind of stuff, and we agreed that it just shows that it can happen to anyone. It probably happens a lot more than we know. If you feel uncomfortable with such behavior, say so. If it doesn't stop, start thinking about why it isn't stopping. They either don't respect you enough to understand that it is hurtful, or they can't control themselves. The former is something you'll have to decide whether or not you can tolerate. The latter is dangerous, because after a while, they won't be content with just verbal and emotional injury.

Every human being deserves better than that.

A quick video

Just a warning that this is video is an endorsement for Sen. Obama. However, it's lighthearted and even a little bit sweet. I think that even if you don't support him, you might find this amusing.

Whoops, the video isn't loading. Try the link.

For those about to rock....

Guess what I got in the mail today?

The new AC/DC, "Black Ice." Did you get it yet, Lisa? It's great!

Woooooo! Rock and roll!

While this is nothing groundbreaking, these guys can still kick it out, man. It's pretty typical AC/DC, just some good, solid rock and roll. I was playing it on the computer, so it wasn't very loud, but you know how some blogs have music playing when you go to them? AC/DC drowned it out completely. No contest. I look forward to playing it on the actual stereo and running it through my Bose 901's. Things will be falling from the walls! Ha ha!

I've only listened to it once, so I need to give it another spin or 12, but my favorites so far are "Rock n Roll Train" (the first single, getting quite a bit of airplay), "Big Jack," "Spoilin' for a Fight," "Rocking all the Way" (with a great Angus guitar solo), and the title track. My absolute favorite, though, is the anthemic "She Likes Rock n Roll," and its chorus of "She digs rock 'n roll, She likes rock 'n roll!"

How can it not be my favorite? They wrote it for me! Thanks, guys! Mwah! Mwah! Really, it's just a lot of fun. I can imagine being at a concert and shouting along with that song! By the way, I heard this morning that their Chicago shows October 30 and November 1 at Rosemont sold out in 8 minutes. They still rock, I'm telling you.

I'm going to go start the enchiladas for Ken's birthday dinner, but before I go, I'll put up my favorite AC/DC song. Angus Young may be a strange little fellow, but I think he's one of the best guitarists in recent history. I love how this song starts with just the guitar riff and low vocals, then the drums start up, then Brian starts singing and the song KICKS in. No lyrics needed...it's AC/DC, they're not known for their poetry. Here's "Thunderstruck." Turn it up!

It's a Bucko Birthday, plus a little Huckabee

Today is Ken's birthday, so go over and show him some love!

The other day, he said, "Remember when I posted about your birthday? Don't do that!" Yeah, right. Being the uppity woman that I am, and since I don't know my place, I am being willfully disobedient and indeed, I am FLAUNTING my disobedience! Hahaha! [hands on hips, triumphant laugh] I'll make up for being a liberal feminist by making one of his favorite dinners, enchiladas. I can't make them as good as his Mom, but they're still pretty tasty. And some refried beans, too. It will be a Mexican fiesta here at Casa Nutwood! Olé!

Sometimes I can be serious, and I'll just say what I've said to a few people. I've been in relationships with guys who brought out the absolute worst in me. Ken does just the opposite. Seeing the way he treats people, and the way he loves my Mom and Dad and my family, his work ethic, and of course the way he treats me...it all brings out the best in me, and he makes ME want to be a better person. I hope he has a wonderful day, although it will be a long one...but I hope that he continues to enjoy coming home to me. LUWAMHHP! (Yeah, it's a code, and no, I'm not telling!)

Happy Birthday, Ken! Huzzah!

Now for the Mike Huckabee speech we attended. It was as big a crowd as for Karl Rove, but we found a couple of seats together pretty easily. There were a couple more empty spots to Ken's left, and a few minutes after we got there, the Chief Nuclear Officer for Ken's plant came in, and sat by Ken. I had seen Mike at the Habitat house dedication, but never got to meet him. He seems like a really decent guy, pretty low-key. He wasn't eating, because it turns out he had just had dinner with a few others, including...Huckabee. He sort of downplayed it and said he must have gotten lucky or something, but the truth is, he's the CNO of one of the biggest employers in the area. He said Huckabee seemed like a really nice guy, but obviously he didn't go into details about what they talked about.

Oh, and Mike mentioned that at the last election, he was working at AEP headquarters in Columbus, Ohio. You all know that Ohio was a major swing state in 2004, as it is this year. He said that the weekend before election day, the phone rang NONSTOP the entire weekend. Indiana is supposed to be a battleground state this year...I told Ken we might have to go out of town! I guess turning off the phone would work, too, for that matter!

As for the dinner...remember that last time it was really barfy? They must have gotten some feedback, because this time, it was totally NON-barfy! In fact, it was prime rib! It was a little more done than I like prime rib, but it wasn't dry at all. They also had some steamed veggies with it, including some of those cute little pattypan squashes. Yum! I didn't have one of the little zucchinis, but the guy across from me held up one and said, "Does anyone know what this is?" Ken said, "It's a baby zucchini!" I told Ken on the way home that I felt like saying, "Dude, you need to eat more veggies!" The people around us seemed a little more lively and talkative than last time, and there was a little bit of political discussion, but nothing major. One thing that was brought up was Obama's fundraising abilities. A couple of people felt that there's so much money there that there has to be some foreign countries or corporations contributing. Ken said no, they can't contribute to his campaign fund--there's a dollar limit (we think it's $5000) that an individual can contribute to a campaign, and I don't believe that foreign countries and foreign corporations can contribute to their campaigns at all. On the way home, we talked about how that's a matter of public record...anything above $200 is reported and out there for people to look up.

Back to the speech. We turned our chairs around to face the stage, and I got out my pen and notebook. Yes, I really took them! Huckabee seems genial and generally affable. He started out with some joking remarks...some were fairly funny, some I thought were pretty lame. His speech was mostly a reiteration of his primary campaign platform. He said that there are a lot of bad things being said about America right now, but there's still no place he'd rather live, because of our freedoms, etc. I agree, but I think that ignores the serious problems we've got, and while I think most of us are still very happy to live here (I know I am), it's small consolation for those that are struggling. I'm quite certain they are also happy to live here and have an abiding love for our country, but I have a feeling that they want a few more answers than, "No matter how hard it is for you to make it, you can be proud to be an American!" Yeah...we all know that. So how does that help those who are barely keeping their heads above water?

He went into this weird shtick about a fictional place he called "Hucktown," where there was only one law: Do unto others as you'd have them do unto you. Because of this law, Hucktown had no economic woes, no need for a large police force, no drug problem, no crime, blah blah blah...basically, all of our problems are due to the loss of our "sense of decency" and our lack of "ethical behavior."

WTF? I wrote down on my little pad of paper "Simplistic." As we were walking out, I told Ken, "That place doesn't exist. It never existed!" To me, that is a fundamental problem with the recent Republican agenda...they want to return to a time that never existed. He painted a pretty picture, but you know what, Mike? There will always be liars, cheaters, and thieves. There will always be those who are motivated by nothing more than sheer greed. It's laudable to hope for better, and to believe the best of mankind, and you all know that for the most part, I try to be that way. I'm also a realist, and I know that there is no changing human nature, and that's why there must be regulatory agencies in place. Wow, he totally sounded like a Pollyanna on that one. "Everyone is wonderful, trust that they'll do unto you the way they would want you to do unto them!" Riiight, Mike. I bet they'd do unto me, all right.

He also talked about his big thing, the consumption tax. I.e., instead of paying income tax, there would be a consumption tax on everything we buy. While it has a certain appeal, and I'll have to do more research on it, I just don't see it happening. He says that everything has a 22% built-in tax, and if that was taken out, we'd pay less in taxes. Hmmm. Do you really think manufacturers would drop all their prices by 22% if this were enacted? I doubt it!

Then it was time for Q&A, which Huckabee said wasn't questions and answers, but questions and avoidance. He said if he ever wants to run for public office again, he needs to do the latter. (There is some speculation that he may run again in 2012. Ken said he'll have to go through Palin. I said, "Nah. She's toast.") Someone asked about term limits for Congress. He said he's all for that, they enacted that in Arkansas, and even in the military, general officers are required to retire at the age of 64. (More about that in a moment.)

Another question was from a pharmacy student, and it was about health care. I actually liked Huckabee's answer to this one: he said that we have a procedure-based system, rather than an all-around care system based on prevention and healthier living. His phrase was that we're treating snakebites instead of killing snakes. A pretty good analogy.

One guy stood up and said that he's a lifelong Republican, but he thinks it's going to be a total slaughter in a couple of weeks. Huckabee said, "I hope you're wrong, but I think you might be right." A-haaaa! He went on to say that Republicans need to figure out why that is. One of the problems he referenced was the handling of Hurricane Katrina. He said that while a lot of Republicans want to blame it on Louisiana's governor at the time, he was Arkansas's governor then and that state saw a huge influx of displaced people. He said there was mismanagement on many levels, including on the part of the federal government. (There's a news flash.) He said that he remembers, as we all do, people stranded on top of their houses for 5 or 6 days, and that "We are better than that." There was the sound of one person clapping in the audience, and oops! It was me! A few others finally joined in, thank goodness.

So that was all the pertinent stuff I wrote down. As Ken and I were talking about it afterwards, we said we were both tempted to ask a question (I actually had two I thought about asking), and Ken's question was kind of related to mine. I suppose if I'd had another glass of wine, I might have had the guts to ask it, but one glass wasn't enough! In Huckabee's little dream sequence about "Hucktown," he mentioned "morals" a few times, as well as a "sense of decency" and "ethical behavior." Ken said he would have asked how Huckabee defines the difference between "morals" and "values." (I think that's right--correct me if I'm wrong, Ken.) My question would have been, "You mentioned a sense of decency and ethical behavior. Do you feel that the recent negativity of Senator McCain's campaign is ethical or decent?"

My other question would have referenced his comments that general officers must retire at the age of 64. "If general officers in the military have to retire at 64, do you feel that Senator McCain, at the age of 72, is too old to serve as President?"

Yeah...in retrospect, it's probably good I didn't have enough in vino veritas to ask those questions. Remember, we were sitting right by Ken's head honcho! Oddly enough, I found Karl Rove more interesting *gasp*, probably because he gave more of an analysis of the presidential race. Although I suppose that Huckabee saying that he thought it might be a "Republican slaughter" in a couple of weeks was worth hearing!

So there you go! I find that I enjoy hearing these speakers, no matter if I agree with them or not. Politics is FUN! [said in a Barbie voice]

It's almost 2 o'clock, and poor Ken has to get up at 3, because the forced outage starts tomorrow. I've been trying to do well with getting to bed earlier, but I'm afraid I'll disturb his sleep if I go to bed now, so I'll stay up a while and catch up on blogs. I'm sure I'll be crashing hard at 3 or so!