Tuesday, April 7, 2020

My Sanctuary

Times are tough, frustration
Need relief, medication
Gone too far, intoxication
Fight the urge, of temptation
It's much too close, contamination
Love and pain, and deviation

~~ "Sanctuary" by The J. Geils Band

The shape of Nutwood to come

Some of you may know that the name of this blog comes from what we named our place: Nutwood Junction. Long story short, it got its name because this used to be a little unincorporated town called Nutwood, and a railroad ran through here. We still own half of the railroad bed (the railroad has long been out of commission and the rails and ties torn up), and the property across the road was the site of a small railroad depot. 

Anyway, I have always called this place "my sanctuary." When I was working, I could hardly wait to get home, stripping off my scrubs as soon as I got in the door and changing into comfy clothes, and that was never more so than during nice weather. I'd head out to the deck immediately to read the mail, get some fresh air, and just take in some nature. We have eleven acres, including a few small ponds, wetlands, and woods, and a multitude of wildlife and birds. Even on my darkest days, it renews my soul. 

That is truer than ever at the moment. The weather will get colder this weekend (that's why I never plant anything until mid-May, at the earliest) but today felt like summer was just around the corner. It got up to the mid-70s and I was able to open several windows and enjoy some fresh air. I spent a little time out on the deck sweeping it off, getting the bird feeders filled, and repairing a favorite bamboo wood chime. (Please ignore the rubber band. That was the easiest way to fix it!)

We had a big thunderstorm last night (and will probably have another one this evening) and that has really started waking things up. The trees are budding and I'm seeing some sprouts of green out front and out in the woods. It's only a matter of time before we are in full foliage. 

The world is just all kinds of fucked up right now (and none more so than this current administration) but seeing our place come back to life made me feel joyful and maybe even a little hopeful. Long after we're gone, nature will renew itself (unless we manage to fuck that up, too, and the current administration says, "Hold my beer"), and will keep on keeping on. She'd probably be better off without us. 

I honestly don't know what will happen. I worry. I worry a lot, Bevvie! (Bonus points to anyone who gets that reference.) I worry about Ken, I worry about my Mom and my sisters, I worry about Shane and Matt, I worry about our friends, I worry about friends I've never met, I worry about our local artists and musicians and restaurants...and I worry about pretty much everyone in the goddamn world. 

But today, the windows are open, the frogs are peeping in the ponds, I'm barefoot, and you know what? 

I'll take it.