Panic in the Library

I’ve really been tearin’ it up lately when it comes to reading. I track my books on Shelfari, and so far this year, I’ve read 30 books. In all of last year, I read only 21! I made a conscious decision to stop spending so much time online and get back to making time for reading. I may have overcompensated, because I’m not writing as much, and sometimes neglecting to get things done because I’m deep into a book and I just can’t put it down. I’m pretty much okay with that, though. When it’s nice out, I tend to put on a bikini and sit outside to read. (If it’s really hot, I sit in the shade. I get overheated easily.) I figure that I’d better be enjoying the summer, because it is starting to wind down. Winter will be coming soon enough! I’ve also been trying to get over to Shane and Matt’s once a week or so for some happy fun pool time (pictures will be forthcoming), and we’ve been having a blast just floating around in the pool, relaxing, talking, and listening to some fun new music. They’re so sweet to welcome me over so often!

Anyway, back to books. The last few I read were hard copies rather than Kindle versions. I like to change it up a little bit. I’m a wild woman, I know! So instead of leaving it on and draining the charge, I just turned it completely off. That seemed like common sense to me.

When I finished the current book I was reading (a hardback), I went back to the guest room to find another book to read. There is a tall shelf back there crammed full of books, ones that I haven’t read yet. I thought about a Jeffrey Deaver book, because he writes good crime thrillers. Picked up a Paul Krugman book, but I’m fairly sick of reading about the economic crisis. Considered a Jeffrey Toobin book about the Supreme Court. I have a multitude of books about Microbiology, but I wanted something a little less serious at the moment. In that light, I thought about Maureen McCormick’s autobiography (Marcia, Marcia, Marcia!), but that was a little too light. I decided I was in the mood for a good, creepy horror novel. And I didn’t have one on that particular bookshelf! There were a couple of Dean Koontz books, but he’s kind of Horror Novel Lite lately, and I wanted something really toothsome, so to speak.

I knew I had some good stuff on my Kindle, so I figured it was time to fire it up again. Although I hadn’t had it on in a while, I had ordered a couple of items, including some free books, and I figured I could get all those downloaded to my Kindle and put into the proper categories, then decide which book I wanted to read. I turned it on, and it was thinking and thinking...but it wasn’t syncing up to my new downloads. As I investigated, it appeared that it wasn’t connecting to the wireless network. I tried connecting manually, I did some troubleshooting, and I still couldn’t get it to connect. It recognized the network, but for some reason, it just would not connect.

After a little bit of frantic work, including a restart, I decided to let it charge fully, and I will go from there. As it charges, I find myself feeling quite anxious. Of course, I can already access the books that I have on there without having the wireless connected, so that isn’t the problem. Not having something work the way it is supposed to and always has bothers me quite a bit. I know I’ll get this resolved (there are still things I need to try, and I hear that Kindle tech support is outstanding), but in the meantime, I’m fretting. I don’t like to fret, but that’s what I’m doing. I’m currently resisting the urge to see if it has charged all the way yet, and wondering if I can sleep without resolving this.

I did have to laugh at myself as I was looking for a book to read. I was the literary equivalent of Springsteen’s “57 Channels (And Nothing On).” An entire bookshelf of books I haven’t read, ranging in topics from science to politics to thrillers, and nothing was striking me. Five crammed-to-overflowing bookshelves in the basement, but most are books I’ve read. I have no qualms about reading favorites again, but I’ve got so many others that I haven’t read yet!

As I write this out, it strikes me that if this is all I’m fretting about at the moment, I am a very lucky woman. I think I’ll sleep easy tonight, after all.

Hear no evil

Wow, you guys are the best. You know what really helped me, other than a good night’s sleep? It was hearing that several others are also on a short fuse. Somehow knowing that I wasn’t alone in my frustration and irritation eased the distress. I don’t want anyone else to feel the way I did yesterday, but I appreciate those of you who sympathized and said you were kind of feeling the same thing. Like I always say, I get by with a little help from my friends. I think someone might have said that before me, but I’m not sure who. As far as homilies go, though, you can’t beat it with a drumstick! [wink]

I was in a much better frame of mind today, and even when something did grate on my nerves, it wasn’t quite on the last one. I was able to just laugh about it and shake it off. In my previous entry, I mentioned something about giving valid advice to people and having them ignore it. That’s always bugged me. If you’re going to ask me a question, and I give you the answer you didn’t want and you choose to ignore it, why did you waste my time by asking me the question? If that’s what you’re going to do, don’t bother asking me and wasting both your time and mine, okay?

I get very frustrated when people don’t listen to me, and especially frustrated when it’s something that I happen to know quite a bit about. It happens to all of us, I know, but it doesn’t make it any more tolerable for me.

Today I was talking to someone on the phone, and the subject of autism came up. This person has a relative in another state who happens to have a kid diagnosed with autism. This person said, “And the mother thinks—and I agree with her—that those inoculations had something to do with it.” *ding ding ding ding* Many of you know that that is one of my hot-button issues, if not THE hot-button issue for me. I said, “I completely disagree. They have shown over and over that there is no link between vaccines and autism.” This person said, “But they didn’t see any signs of it until after the shots.” I said, “That’s often because the signs of autism show up and can be diagnosed around that time. There isn’t a connection between vaccines and autism. This is kind of my thing.” The response?

“Whatever.”

That’s right. When talking with someone who actually knows a bit about the subject and has read extensively about it, they ignored my comments by saying, “Whatever.” I am not an epidemiologist, and I don’t pretend to know all the details of vaccines; I don’t know the schedule of vaccines, and I don’t really know what all is recommended; my expertise was in trying to grow or identify the infectious diseases that were present. But most of us in the lab followed trends in diseases, and tracked the statistics released in the CDC’s Morbidity and Mortality Weekly Report, and I also checked Indiana’s numbers. Not to mention reading up on trends around the world and tracking where outbreaks occurred, and why. So when I talk about vaccines, I’m not talking out of my ass.

I guess I can chalk it up to people not wanting to have their ideas challenged. I guess it’s easier to listen to a young mother say that she firmly believes that her child’s autism is due to vaccinations than have a microbiologist explain that it is faulty science and has no basis in reality and came about because an unethical physician conducted bad research on a whopping TWELVE kids. No matter that the physician’s paper was yanked from the journal in which it was published, the research was denounced, and the doctor’s medical license was stripped. No matter that over twenty subsequent studies, involving thousands of children, showed absolutely no correlation. It’s easier to listen to junk science and accept it than to try to have someone who actually understands the issue and has read plenty about it explain it in detail. It’s easier to dismiss what I say than to make an effort to listen to me and maybe learn something about it.

Is it any wonder that I don’t get closer to such people? Is it any wonder that I’m feeling more than a little misanthropic lately? Is it any wonder I’m sane at all? I think someone said that before me, but I’m not sure who. Maybe when Charon ferries me across to Hades, I’ll think of it. [wink]

Last nerve grated

I don’t know if it’s the heat and humidity, or just the political climate, but I have just about had it.

As I’ve read things online over the past couple of days, I realized that I was just really damn tired of debating. I’m tired of the discussions, I’m tired of trying to talk about it, and I’m tired of the whole dysfunctional stupid process.

Add to that a crappy stupid email I got this morning that was incredibly presumptuous and assumed some things about me without actually knowing me, a stupid and totally unnecessary diagnosis on a kid in the family who had no control over it, and a stupid horrible dream about being chased by zombies (at least I was able to outrun them), and I am what some might call ON EDGE.

Part of my morning routine is checking all my feeds and catching up on the latest political news and commentary. I had no stomach for it today. I put it off until the afternoon, and I still had no stomach for it. I put it off until the evening, and I finally just marked everything as read, because I was just so sick of all of it.

I have had it with people thinking that they know me and assuming that because I have opinions that differ from theirs, that means that I just haven’t thought about it enough. That my opinions on politics are simply the parroting of liberal pundits, and that I am somehow incapable of forming my own thoughts and opinions on matters. I’m tired of some people not listening to me when I give them valid advice. I am especially sick and tired of anyone who thinks that I haven’t really thought about my views on religion, and that I haven’t thoroughly pondered them over forty fucking years. Like I just woke up one day and said I wasn’t going to believe any of it. And I’m sick of anyone who thinks that they can judge me about not having children, without knowing my history or what has happened in my life.

This is about a negative entry as you’ll ever see from me, because I generally just go about my business and do my own thing. But I have my limits, and I have been pushed to them at the moment. (And for anyone who wonders, I am NOT on the rag. I suggest you not ask that.) I don’t whine...I get pissed. And woe unto those who push me on it.

For the next few days, I plan on just hunkering down and keeping to myself, reading and enjoying some peace and quiet outside. Like a wounded animal, I’m feeling all bitey, and it’s best to not reach out a hand to pat me on the head. I spent a wonderful afternoon with Shane and Matt on Monday, and we hung out in the pool and just talked and laughed and listened to music. I hope for another afternoon like that this week, and that will go a long way towards easing my mind and my achy psyche.

Infection Connection: Foodborne Illness and the Importance of Food Safety

My friend Milwaukee Dan #1 recently posted an article on Facebook from the Chicago Tribune concerning a restaurateur in Chicago that was sending his employees outside to cook. Raw eggs were outside in high temperatures, mixing buckets were rinsed out with garden hoses, and the cooks mixed batter with their ungloved hands. The owner of the restaurant maintained that it was only temporary, but the health department was planning on investigating.

I think most of you are probably as grossed out right now as I was when I read the story. In my years in the laboratory, I witnessed quite a few outbreaks of foodborne illness, including Salmonella, Shigella, Campylobacter, and E coli O157. I saw a case or two of Listeria, as well as a rare Yersinia case. That doesn’t count the toxin screens usually done by the State Board of Health that test for Staph aureus, Bacillus cereus, and botulinum toxins. Those are just the most common ones. Most of us have probably suffered through a bout of food poisoning at some point in our lives; it’s not uncommon, and most of the time it is self-limiting and we can fight it off after a few days of misery.

However, severe outbreaks can tax the resources of local, county, and state labs, as well as resulting in hospitalization for those most affected. The CDC estimates that “each year roughly 1 in 6 Americans (or 48 million people) gets sick, 128,000 are hospitalized, and 3,000 die of foodborne diseases.” Some of the symptoms of food poisoning include nausea, diarrhea, vomiting, fever, and some bacteria (E coli O157) can cause hemolytic uremic syndrome, in which kidney failure occurs and can cause a lifetime dependence on dialysis.

The very young, the elderly, and the immunocompromised can be devastated by such illnesses, and complications can include septicemia (when the organism gets into the bloodstream), endotoxic shock, and massive organ failure.

Although dealing with each of these types of illnesses is too broad of a subject for one blog entry, I want to address a comment that Dan received after posting the Chicago Tribune story. (Yes, this is going to get political, but it is a point that needs to be made.) One of his more conservative friends made a sarcastic comment about how oh dear, someone was cooking good food outdoors for people to eat! When Dan mentioned the dangers of food poisoning, and I mentioned that as a microbiologist, I was appalled by what this restaurant owner was doing and that he either needs to take his operations inside or be shut down, the person wondered if there had been any complaints to the health department about this establishment, and that their own immune system was fine with it.

Suffice it to say that I wouldn’t be surprised to see a picture of this person in a tricorner hat, drinking a big jug o’ tea. I pointed out that for those whose immune systems are compromised—people with cancer or diabetes—a bout of food poisoning can be a life-threatening situation.

I recently read a story about a teabagger gathering in which people were cooking and selling food without a permit. One defender of this practice said that if the vendor gives people food poisoning, he won’t be in business for long...the market will correct itself.

To me, this is every single damn thing that is wrong about these freakin’ teabaggers. I suppose that if a food vendor manages to kill a bunch of people because he sells tainted food, he probably would be put out of business. In the meantime, a whole bunch of people are still dead. If that’s what the market needs to do to correct itself, then I think that market needs a little more regulation. Not everyone is a healthy, hale adult whose immune system can fight off a bout of Salmonella; sometimes people who have underlying disease that leaves them vulnerable to infections ingest these bacteria, viruses, or toxins, and it can be devastating to their health. A pregnant woman who eats ice cream or a hot dog that is tainted with Listeria will often miscarry because Listeria can cross the placental barrier and will often kill the fetus.

What really burns my bacon about those who think the government and the FDA should mind their own business and let the food market regulate itself is that they seem to have no concept or intellectual grasp of just how devastating these infections can be. As long as they’re strong and healthy and can fight off a bout of Shigella (although from talking to friends who have had Shigella, they won’t be quite so strong and healthy after that...one person told me that they were pretty sure they weren’t going to die, but they wanted to), they really don’t seem to give a flying fuck about anyone else, including kids, the elderly, and anyone who might not have the immune system of a superhero or a vampire.

We have an agency that is designed to protect the safety of our food, the FDA. It is not perfect, and there are still things that get by it. But we won’t get healthier by eating Salmonella-tainted eggs and spinach, or E coli-laden beef, or drinking unpasteurized milk contaminated with Campylobacter or Brucella. We’ll just get sick, resulting in lost productivity and in some cases, loss of life. We have the ability and technology to screen our food supply for these organisms, and we are healthier because of it. Challenging our immune systems by allowing all sorts of contaminants to enter our food supply is irresponsible and dangerous.

Anyone who thinks that the open market will correct such contamination problems, or that food vendors will police themselves, should probably take a look at what happened with Wall Street and our economy when regulation was eased. It may right itself eventually, but only after a lot of hurt, pain, and general misery. Perhaps they also might want to think about the greater good; although your portfolio might be robust, or you are in very good health, not everyone is that fortunate. What is so hard about watching out for the other guy, not just for yourself? Isn’t that what we are supposed to do as a society?

Beth’s Music Moment: Meet the Smithereens

I’ve written about The Smithereens before. They’re one of my favorite bands from the '80s and ‘90s, with a great sound, whether it’s a rave-up like “A Girl Like You” or a mellow one like “In A Lonely Place.”

Currently playing in my car is an album they released in 2007, a song-for-song remake of the classic album “Meet the Beatles” called “Meet the Smithereens.” This is simply outstanding summer music, and I highly recommend it.

Every song is included, starting off with “I Wanna Hold Your Hand” and ending with “Not a Second Time.” It is a fairly faithful reproduction, with harmonies, hand claps, and harmonica intact. Lead singer Pat DiNizio sings most of the songs, and his voice (which I’ve always loved) brings further depth to these interpretations.

The album is billed as a “tribute to the Beatles.” It is a very loving tribute, and although it’s a risky endeavor to tackle such iconic songs, it works. It works amazingly well. I think it might work because it IS such a faithful, almost note-for-note remake; rather than changing the songs, some of which many of us know all the words to, they just played them the way the Beatles did. They merely added their heavier guitars and different voices. Even George’s guitar solos are the same.

For someone who remembers playing her Beatlemaniac sister’s “Meet the Beatles” many times (and yes, she still has it...except now it’s framed and on the wall in their basement) and happens to love the Smithereens, this album is an absolute blast. You can’t beat driving down the road in a Mustang on a hot summer day, playing this song loud, singing, and doing a little seat dancing!

Proton Girl

I’ve been reading through some old correspondence and writings in order to consolidate and categorize a few things.

As I read through some of this stuff and discuss it with a handful of friends and family, we are all astounded at the level of negativity that was present in all of it. I’ve encountered negative people in my life before, and you usually have one or two of them in the workplace, but in all my years, I honestly have never seen it carried out to this degree. It’s a constant litany of perceived wrongs or slights, delusional ramblings about how everyone else screwed everything up or screwed people over, and endless missives concerning dereliction of duty on our part (when there was none). In fact, when I can eventually write about this in more detail, you will be surprised to learn just how much duty there was. The writing is just stunning in its rewriting of history, on the level of teabagger rewriting of history.

This rewriting of history came about because of anger and bitterness, and although I’ll cop to having a certain amount of that myself over various issues throughout the years, I’ve never seen it carried through to this extent. I try my best to not let it get the better of me, and to maintain my cheerful and optimistic demeanor, and for the most part, I think I succeed. I have not let myself get to the point where I am so paranoid and so angry about so many things that I let it affect my dealings with most people. But in reading all of this stuff, both Ken and I agreed that we have had to put up with a lot of shit over the years, and that it will be a pleasant day when we can bid it a not-so-fond farewell. In fact, there might actually be a party involved. Not because we will be so happy about being absolved of the “duty,” but because we will be so glad to leave the negativity behind. (Not that we think the negativity will stop visiting our blogs! haha)

I recently went to a birthday party for the husband of one of my former coworkers. I talked to a few of my coworkers most of the night, and although I haven’t worked there for three years, we had a great talk and a great time laughing together. Of course, there have been many coworkers I’ve lost touch with over the years, mostly due to living out of the area, but I don’t doubt that seeing them would be fun and we’d enjoy getting caught up. I honestly can’t imagine living the kind of life where you make enemies constantly, where you can’t work somewhere or live somewhere without managing to piss off your coworkers or neighbors. At some point, after leaving that sort of trail of unhappiness and destruction, wouldn’t you kind of start to wonder about yourself? “Is it something I’m doing? Is it me?” I sure would! In fact, on the occasions when I have managed to alienate someone, I generally try to examine what happened and try to make sense of it, try to take responsibility for whatever my part in it might have been. I’m far from superhuman, and I’m far from a super human being! I don’t always handle things the right way, and I sometimes say the wrong thing. I try to apologize if I get the chance. (Usually, if I speak sharply, I realize it within a matter of minutes, and am able to apologize quickly. On the other hand, if you’ve pushed me too far, you’ll know it. And I won’t apologize.)

Of course, sometimes that chance is taken away from you, and that’s really a shame for all involved. When you are essentially removed from a situation and barred from all contact, there is no chance for discussion or clarification or...well, anything. When another agenda is pushed exclusively, the outcome is a foregone conclusion. To provide a political analogy, if all you watch is Fox News, you’re probably going to hate President Obama!

But I’m off-topic and rambling. I guess just reading all that negativity and nastiness got me to thinking about things. I’m grateful that I had such a positive upbringing, and I mean that in every sense. Not only was my childhood generally a positive experience, I was surrounded, for the most part, by very positive people. That’s just how my family is. I think most people respond favorably to that sort of an attitude, and a negative attitude is off-putting, if not downright repulsive to some. Hey, if you’re an electron to my proton, I’m probably not going to hang around you! Even when I experience negative things (and believe me, I have), I try very hard to not let that color my view of life in general, and take experiences for what they are: an opportunity to learn. One of the definitions of ‘experience’ is “direct observation of or participation in events as a basis of knowledge.” We are meant to learn from our experiences, whether it is figuring out that putting your hand in a fire is bad or that it’s not always everyone else’s fault.

All I can say is I’m glad I’m not negatively charged.

When stubbornness becomes dangerous

I understand stubbornness. I’m as stubborn as they come. If someone repeatedly tells me that I have to do something, I just HAVE to, you can bet that I will not do it just because I don’t like to be told that I have to do something. That is why I have never seen “Titanic” and I have yet to read any of the Harry Potter books. (I’ll eventually cave on the latter...I’ve read too many good things about them, and people whose opinions I value vouch for them quite vehemently. But not yet. I’ve got too many other books I want to read first.)

So I really do get people digging in their heels and refusing to compromise.

What I cannot understand, however, is digging in your heels because of some stupid ideology that has been repeatedly shown to be false, especially when the result of your intransigence is the risk of ruining the good name and credit rating of your own country.

That is what I’m seeing from the Repub leadership lately. Boehner, McConnell, and especially Cantor have shown themselves to be uncompromising and two-faced, refusing to budge one inch on their bizarre ‘no new taxes’ mantra. Boehner has been more willing to compromise, but then turns around and accuses the President of being unwilling to do so. I won’t go into details of the numbers, and what the President has been willing to agree to but has been refused by the Repubs; I won’t go into the reality of how our tax rates are the lowest ever, despite the Repubs saying that our President is obsessed with raising taxes; but when the President proposed extensive budget cuts, even to some programs that someone like myself has a real problem with him cutting, the Repubs walk away and refuse to discuss it. Why? Because Obama is asking for shared sacrifice, asking for a slightly higher tax rate among the richest 2% in the country. This is apparently unacceptable to the Grover Norquist asskissers in our government. A majority in the country—well over 60%—accept a combination of spending cuts and tax increases as the best solution to our economic woes. The Repubs ignore that, and go merrily about their business of totally fucking over our country.

This just boggles my mind. Corporations are sitting on record profits, and the Repubs continue to stick to their guns (so to speak) and say that this will hurt job creation. What universe are they living in? Seriously? Businesses have lots of money, and they are not investing in workers. Cutting their taxes will not change that. DEMAND drives job creation. Allowing the irresponsible Bush tax cuts to expire for the richest, while leaving them in place for the middle class, will allow revenues to increase and put more money in the pockets of the millions of middle class Americans, which they will then spend on goods and services which will then drive up demand which will then result in job creation. This is not rocket surgery, people. I’m no economist, and even I get it.

But not the Repubs. No. They continue to support the corporations and the CEOs who are raking money in hand over fist. They continue to cling to this stupid Norquist pledge (Why do they kiss this guy’s ass? I’d love to know.) and ignore economists’ predictions and analysis of what is going on in our country. They call for less regulation for Wall Street, when those greedy assholes are some of the main players in what got us into this economic mess in the first place.

I rue the day that I ever registered as a Repub and I regret every vote I ever cast for one. I’m even to the point where I’m sick of Dick Lugar, a moderate if there ever was one, and will vote for Joe Donnelly against him (if Lugar survives the teabagger candidate who is running against him in the primaries) in one of my Indiana Senate races.

A deal looks closer tonight than it has recently, but I find it absolutely ridiculous that the Repubs were so puerile and juvenile that they brought us to this point. The world is watching, and the world is worried. It might be hard for some to comprehend, but our economy affects the entire world. A default on our loans would be disastrous, and I am pissed at any Repub who thinks it would be okay. Get over losing the election to Obama and get to work. Address our problems rather than ignoring them, and stop politicizing this entire negotiation. I know you don’t want our President to have a second term. But if you want to win it, do it legitimately and stop screwing over the middle class and our entire country.

Mmm-kay?