Both Ken and I have written at various times about how we don't fight. I suppose there are some that think that's abnormal, but as I've said before, thinking we're abnormal for not bickering with each other probably says more about your psyche than about ours! I've been trying to wade through a large stack (some might say abnormally large) of magazines that have been accumulating for a few months, and I read an interview in Good Housekeeping that made me think, "That's it exactly! " It was an interview with an actor named James Denton. I'm not familiar with the guy, but apparently he plays the sexy plumber on "Desperate Housewives," a show we don't watch. Check this out:Q: What's the secret of a good marriage?
Denton: This might sound a little strange, but my wife is from midwestern stock, and she's not big on sitting and talking about her feelings. It's great when you can find that, because most guys--myself included--aren't really into over-analyzing things. Sharing my emotions doesn't come naturally to me, and she had that same keep-your-feelings-to-yourself upbringing. Don't get me wrong: We talk about things that are important, but we're not having those "here's how I feel about everything" conversations at 1 AM that I've had to endure in other relationships. I sound like a total caveman.
Q: Not quite. So, when you do let it all out, is it a huge explosion?
Denton: Actually, no! We don't fight, ever--and it's not because we refuse to. We're just on the same wavelength, so we say what's on our minds and move on. I do have a horrible temper, but it's usually in the garage, when I've done something stupid when I'm trying to build something.
That sums up exactly how Ken and I feel about things, and about fighting. Yes, we discuss things, but we do so civilly, logically, and calmly. Histrionics don't come into play at all, because neither of us operates that way. When Denton mentioned that 1 AM conversation, it took me back to a past relationship, when I'd want nothing more than to go to sleep and stop talking about it. He'd follow me around like an evil puppy, talking and talking and talking, if I tried to go to bed, he'd follow me there and talk some more, until I just wanted to scream, "For the love of God, will you PLEASE SHUT YOUR PIEHOLE?!" That sort of behavior is so alien to me, and it's really pleasant to be able to have a rational discussion, come to an agreement, and be done with it. No need for endless discussions, or for drama.
What's kind of funny is that both Ken and I have bad tempers, but it takes a lot to get us to the point where we lose it, and if we do lose it, we don't direct that flamethrower in each other's direction. I remember kicking a closet door in my dorm room and breaking it; punching the hell out of a couple of pillows as a young adult; and getting into screaming matches with the aforementioned ex. [shudder] My temper has definitely mellowed as I've gotten older, and I've found that you can accomplish a lot more if you ditch the drama and just discuss. It has to be a lot better for your health, too.As far as not fighting with Ken, it's amazing what two people can accomplish when they're on the same page. We are simpatico.
Hey, I found out from our neighbor across the road that the people to the right of him will be moving out soon. Apparently they had an adjustable rate mortgage, and their payment went from $900 a month to $2000. YIKES! I don't wish ill will on anyone, but I can't say that I'm upset that they're moving. They've made the place look so trashy, and their cats wander the area and come over here to eat our birds and they agitate Sheeba! Dave said that he thought they are just going to leave all their cats and if they do, he'll kill them (the cats, not the people). I asked him to let me know if they do that, because I think there are some animal shelters that will take in cats like that. He said he'd let me know. Jamie, if it comes to that, I could use some advice! Who do I need to call to give these cats a new lease on life? And talking about my temper...I'd love to tell those people just what I think of them letting their cats wander all over the place, and Dave said that he thinks most of them aren't fixed. Grrrrr!
