Perspective

Most people who read here regularly, and certainly those who know me, know that it’s been a tough couple of years when it comes to losing loved ones. Each loss was sad for me, and none more so than the loss of my Dad. At times it has been very tough to deal with, but I’ve done my best to keep on keepin’ on. I’m still hanging in there, and I haven’t lost my joy. (It was a little lost sheep for a while, but it found its way back...slowly, but surely.)

I mentioned yesterday that my family lost a dear relative this week. This was my cousin Erich, who was married to my blood cousin, Emma Jean. (Emma Jean and I recently realized that she is the oldest grandchild on our grandfather’s side, and I’m the youngest. It’s odd that I never knew that before.) Well, for all the loss that I’ve experienced in the past few years, here are the losses that my dear cousin has had to deal with: her oldest daughter, who was my age, to a brain tumor; her father to cancer and a stroke; her only sibling, her brother, to chronic kidney disease; her mother, to Alzheimer’s; my Dad, who was very close to both Emma Jean and Erich; and just two days ago, she returned from doing volunteer work at a school to find her husband, collapsed. He was already gone.

My heart breaks for my cousin, and of course for her entire immediate family. Emma Jean is truly one of the kindest, sweetest people I’ve ever had the pleasure of knowing. She has handled each loss with incredible grace and amazing strength, and although I know this might be her toughest mountain to climb, I don’t doubt that she will handle this one, as well. I’ve always admired her, both for her kindness and for her strength in the face of adversity. I’m glad we have some genes in common, because I’d like to think that I have that same strength...if not her sweetness and gentleness!

We all have our moments when we get discouraged, even sometimes feel outright despair. I’ve had those times myself, but I do my best to ride it out and get back to my usual cheery self, the person able to feel great happiness from even the little things in life. After Dad died, I remembered our talks about such things...not only that he didn’t want any of us to grieve overly long when he moved on, but how we both found so much pleasure in what many people would find mundane. An interesting bug, a cool-looking stick, a good book, a beautiful day. These are the things that ground me and get me back to where I need and want to be, and I hope that Emma Jean will once again rely on whatever it is that gets her to where she needs to be. In the future, if I am feeling down about a loss or a bad situation, I will think of her and hope that I can be as strong as she has been and continues to be. My petty problems seem small in comparison to what she has been through.

Amazingly enough, as I was writing this, I looked up to see a hummingbird on the front feeder—I hung both feeders yesterday, knowing that they’d be back soon. Sure enough, exactly one year to the day after they showed up last year, they are back. It’s little things like this that bring me such joy and let me know that the world keeps on keepin’ on...just like we all strive to do.

A loss in the family

Yesterday Ken and I were very sad to learn from Cousin Shane that one of his sweet kitties, Peanut, had passed away in the morning. She's been pretty sick for a while; she used to be this compact chunk o' cat, but was diagnosed with diabetes and dropped a whole bunch of weight. She was a tiny little thing, just as sweet as could be, and although she was always shy with me at first, she'd always let me pet her and brush her when I took care of the cats when Shane was out of town. She really was a sweetheart of a cat, and I hope you'll all send positive thoughts Shane's way as he deals with this. I think almost all of us know how tough it is to say goodbye to a pet--they really do become part of the family. As you can imagine, Sheeba got plenty of hugs and squeezes yesterday.

Rest in peace, Peanut, and I wish you a safe journey.

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After I took out the recycling today, I thought I'd toddle on out to the garden and see if there wasn't a stray tomato or two still hanging on. Great googly-moogly! I couldn't believe how much stuff was still out there. Even the beans are still producing. There were plenty of tomatoes (although some of them are green and had dropped off the plants...I hope they'll mature inside) and peppers, and one whopper of a zucchini. I don't even remember seeing one last time I was out there, and here was this monster! I even measured it...it's 16 x4 inches (about 40 x 10 centimeters). It probably is too big to stir fry it, but it will be great for stuffed zucchini, and that's what I'm making tonight. (You scoop out the innards and parboil the shell, then stuff it with a mixture of hamburger, cheese, onion, and a couple of other things, then bake it. Pretty tasty.) I was honestly surprised to see so many things out there still. It gives me great hope for next summer's garden, although I'm going to have to plant my tomatoes in containers on the deck. There is a fungus in our soil that causes Verticillium Wilt, and you just can't get rid of it. Even varieties bred for resistance to it eventually succumb, and the plants start to wither and die from the ground up. I'm glad I was able to get as many tomatoes as I did this year.

That's okay--planting my tomatoes in containers on the deck will leave more room in the garden for experimental things like Brussels sprouts and...EGGPLANT! I swear to God, man, I'm planting a couple of eggplants next year. I've always wanted to try them, and maybe I can even find a way to fix them that Ken will like. What do you think, Kenny-Pig? :)

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I was amazed today to see a hummingbird at the feeder. Time to get a move on, little girl...it's getting chilly out there! It's a myth that you should take down your feeder when fall comes, or else the hummies will stick around. They're on their own timetable, and they leave when they're ready. Leaving your feeder up can help migrating hummies coming from farther north. They can make a pit stop at your place and refuel before they hit the air again. I just could not believe one is still hanging around here. She was a chubby little thing, too!

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Looks like I'm not the only one disgusted by the gloating behavior we've witnessed in the past few days concerning Chicago's Olympics bid. Paul Krugman of the New York Times wrote a fantastic op-ed piece about the irrationality of such behavior. My favorite line was "For one thing, we learned that the modern conservative movement, which dominates the modern Republican Party, has the emotional maturity of a bratty 13-year-old." Couldn't have said it any better, Mr. Krugman. My hope is that people will take a good, hard look at what we're seeing here and come to understand the lunacy of these people who claim to love their country (and, in the Imbecile Beck's case, show it by weeping like a little girl) but in the next breath express great satisfaction and glee over its loss of the international games. This is Bizarro World behavior, in which love is expressed by scorn, devotion by disdain, and loyalty by abandonment. Maybe it's just me, but I'd like to return to our regularly scheduled world, one that doesn't make me feel like Alice down the rabbit hole.

The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree

I chatted with my folks on the phone today (they're doing fine, just busy), and I had a funny moment when talking to Dad. I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow, just a routine checkup, but we got on the subject of cancer.

Dad: Cervical cancer can be treated pretty easily now, as long as they find it quickly. Not like that other cancer women can get...what is that one...?

Me: Ovarian?

Dad: Yeah. I guess women can have that and not even know it until it's too late.

Me: It's a bad one. I've tried to learn about the symptoms so I can recognize it if something is seriously wrong.

Dad: What's that other one that's so bad?

Me: Pancreatic?

Dad: Yeah. That's what Patrick Swayze died of.

Me: Yeah, that was sad.

Dad: You know, I felt really bad about that. I liked Patrick Swayze. I never saw "Dirty Dancing," but I liked that one...which one was it where he's a bouncer and comes in to run a club?

Me: "Road House"! It's one of my favorites! We watched it the night we heard he'd died.

Haha! It just cracked me up to hear that my 86-year-old Dad digs "Road House"! We talked about a few of our favorite parts (Dad said, "Boy, he could really take care of those bad guys, couldn't he?"), and it just tickled me. This was almost as great an epiphany as when Dad told me, "You know, if I hadn't gone into the National Guard, I always thought it would be neat to run an office supply store." I told him, "So that's where I get it from!" and we laughed. We agreed, though, that we'd never turn a profit, because we'd constantly be buying out our own stock.

There are certainly worse tendencies to inherit from your parents. I'll take the quirks of loving "Road House" and office supplies over nasty traits any day!

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I'm amazed that our hummingbirds are still here. I think this is the latest they've ever stuck around. The boys left a couple of weeks ago, but the girls are still coming up to the feeders, trying to bulk up for their flight south. I'm guessing they'll be gone in the coming week. I hate to see them go, but I look forward to their return every spring!

In the meantime, our barred owl has been very vocal lately. I hear him often at night, and Ken got to hear him the other night, too. It's such a spooky sound...I love it! Now we need to get the coyote howling at the same time. Ooooo!

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Does anyone else watch "Hell's Kitchen"? Ken and I love it. It's a little bit of "Iron Chef," with a whole lot of the foul-tempered (and foul-mouthed) Gordon Ramsay thrown in the mix. "It's RAW!" "Feel that...it's STONE COLD!" [throws pan in the trash] "Come ON!" Last night, someone was blubbering about how they couldn't take it anymore, and I asked Ken, "Had they never watched the show before they tried out for it?" Would I want to take that kind of abuse? No way. But I wouldn't try out for a show like that, knowing that is how the Big Guy operates.

We also watched the premiere of "The Good Wife" with Julianne Margulies and Chris Noth. I thought it was quite good, and although I'm not committed to watching it faithfully, I'll definitely tune in again. Neat premise--woman's politician husband gets caught in a sex/money scandal and goes to prison, woman goes back to work as a lawyer. Very topical!

It's nice to see some of our favorites begin the fall season, even though this means the end of our summer movie watching. So many movies, so little time!

Hummm…

I had a message on Facebook from Milwaukee Dan #1 this morning, and he said that he and his wife saw a hummingbird around their azalea last evening. I've had one feeder up for a week or so now, so I knew it was only a matter of time. Sure enough, early this afternoon, I heard that little buzz and knew they were back! There was a male on the feeder. I haven't seen him since then, but now I know they're back, and I can hang out the other feeder at the front of the house (it seems to help keep down on the fighting).

I also saw a Rose-breasted Grosbeak this morning, both male and female, so they're back, too. I'll put out some orange halves soon, because the Orioles won't be far behind. Isn't it funny how you kind of get to know and love some of these birds, and are happy to see them return year after year? Or maybe it's just me.

Speaking of birds, Happy World Penguin Day! And thanks to Craig Ferguson for pointing it out on his show last night. As much as I love penguins, I had no idea today is World Penguin Day. I don't think I've written much about my love for penguins. I collect figurines and stuffed animals (although I've quit buying the latter), and this is one of my favorites, and one of my pricier ones, purchased in San Francisco. I like to get one from every city I visit, but I have price limits. I still don't have one from New Orleans, because the only ones I saw were in the Quarter, and about $150. I don't love penguins that much! I took this guy out of the curio cabinet to get his picture, and I don't even want to tell you how many I have...I've never actually counted, but there are probably a couple hundred. They take up four of five shelves in the corner curio.

I still remember how I came to collect them, too. I was in my mid-20's, and everyone likes to collect something, right? My sister Diana collects unicorns, and my sister Sue collects angels. I hadn't figured out yet what I was going to collect, when my friend Lisa from the lab came over one afternoon. We were enjoying a few amber beverages, and an animal show came on, and it was all about penguins. They were so cute, and the way they waddled made me laugh till I cried. I figured that any creature that could bring me such enjoyment and happiness was something very special, and my collection was born. They still make me smile, and as I was watching the video at the end of this entry, I said, "Awww!" several times. Of course, I loved "March of the Penguins," and I'm glad that it showed the world what I've known for many years: these are remarkable creatures worthy of love, respect, and every effort to preserve their habitat.

Again speaking of birds--the cookin' kind--the plan is to have our first barbecue tonight, with a chicken I thawed out last night. I'm hoping the weather will cooperate. It's been a little on the gloomy side, with a thunderstorm earlier today, and lots of wind.

Ken has been doing online research to find a place for his Mom and stepdad when they move up here at the end of May. He found several possibilities. I've been catching up on magazines, and read in Time about a cool thing that colleges and universities are doing. There's a channel on YouTube for education, and you can find hundreds of videos of lectures from professors from several universities, including Yale, Dartmouth, MIT, Notre Dame, and many, many others. You don't get credit for watching the lecture, obviously, but what a great way to open up education from world-class professors to anyone with a high speed connection! I've already found one that I want to watch, about pandemic influenza, which is especially timely considering the outbreak of a new strain in Mexico.

Which, by the way, doesn't qualify as a pandemic...yet. But it's serious business, and has the potential to be a big problem. It's a genetic combination of swine, human, and avian strains, and dozens have already died. Surveillance is being heightened, and there may be some travel restrictions at some point. I'll be watching this story closely.

Is that enough topics for this entry? I think so! I've already got another one percolating, though, and I'm not sure if it can wait till tomorrow. I'm very agitated.

Flattery will get you everywhere

A beautiful sunny day here at Nutwood! Not exactly balmy, but after a visit to the store, I walked around and picked some some good-sized limbs that had come down after our high winds a few days ago. I was able to be out without a jacket, and it felt good to be outside and do a little yard work. I'm in the mood for Mexican, so tonight it's nachos! Or as I like to call them, snachos. Not sure where that came from.

Guess what I got at the grocery store? Pomegranate juice. As I gaze deeply into my crystal ball, I foresee pomegranate martoonis in our near future! (And yes, I've already found a recipe.) When I serve them, I shall wear capris and ballet flats while we listen to some groovy tunes on our hi-fi stereo. I suppose martinis aren't all that retro these days, are they? They're quite the rage now. We even have a martini bar in South Bend, Indiana. And that's sayin' something.

I was very flattered to be pimped highlighted by a couple of bloggers I respect very much. Rebecca at Provocation of Mine(d) is a remarkable writer, and she mentioned my blog in her entry today. I can't begin to tell you how pleasantly surprised I was, and I thank you, Rebecca. You're a peach!

Lori of Dusty Pages has passed along the Kreativ Blogger award to me. Thank you, Lori! Lori and I share a love of words, their origins, uses, etc. Be sure to check out her shared blog I Stand Corrected, in which she was kind enough to add me as a writer. (Which reminds me, I really need to work on an entry for it! It's been a while.) I had received this award a while back, but Lori's bequest comes with an assignment. As I do with all awards, if I read you, it's for a reason, and I pass this award on to you. The homework involved looks like fun, so I'll do it! I'm supposed to write about seven things I love.

Only seven?! Okay, you all know the usual suspects: Ken, of course! (Awww!) My family. And Sheeba. Music that RAWWWWKS! Movies. Route 66. Birds wildlife cats books conservation art Googie signs ancient Egypt politics...I've written about all these things here many times, but I'll try to dig a little deeper and be a tad more specific, or at least go beyond the usual.

So here we go, and thank you again, Rebecca and Lori. You are both women of distinction, and I'm proud to know you.

1. Sitting outside on the deck on a warm summer day, when the sounds of outdoor activity subside. It's a weekday, so there are few cars going by, and the neighbors aren't running their lawnmowers or chainsaws. The only sounds are those of the birds and a gentle breeze ruffling the leaves. I never feel so at peace when I'm in that place and just look around me, and listen, with delight. If you were to see me at these moments, you'd see an idiotic grin on my face, with my head tipped back.

2. Sometimes when doing that, I'll get lucky, and a hummingbird will come up and hover in front of my face. Their little eyes sparkle and seem to ask, "Who are you, lady? And are you the one who feeds me? Thanks!" The air is stirred by the rapid beat of their tiny wings, and no matter how many times it happens, it still amazes me and makes me hold my breath until they fly away.

3. Being out in the garden and hearing a rustle in the marsh grass a few feet away...looking up and seeing a big-eyed and big-eared doe looking back at me.

4. Driving with the top down (the Mustang's, not mine) on a warm summer night, singing along to a cool song.

Gee, do you think I'm ready for summer? It really is my favorite time of year, and I'm excited that it's getting close.

5. I love it when Ken asks me, "How do you spell...?" and tells me a word. I spell it out, e.g., "R-H-Y-T-H-M" and then say the word: "Rhythm." It's like a tiny, pretend spelling bee. And I always win!

6. Learning something new. Finding out more about a subject. Researching for an entry (yes, sometimes I really do some research!). Traveling to a place I haven't been before and learning about its history, or traveling to a place I have been before and finding out something new about it. It's the thrill of the hunt, and I'm hunting information. (Be vewy vewy quiet.)

7. And we're back to summer: having the bedroom windows open at night, feeling the cool breeze, snuggling down into crisp cotton sheets, and hearing the frogs "peeping" out in the ponds. For me, it's like a sleeping pill courtesy of Mother Nature.