Teabagging: More, more, more!

I enjoyed reading about the roundup of yesterday's tea party convention festivities. Sort of the way I enjoy a jab in the eye with a sharp stick, but I enjoyed it nonetheless!

One of the speakers was Judge Roy Moore, and I wrote a little about him yesterday. When he signed on to speak at the convention, he remarked that "Our rights are being taken away and they never stop—whether it's our right to our guns, as outlined in the Second Amendment, or our right to religious expression as outlined in the First Amendment, or our property rights, as outlined in the Fifth (Amendment) or state sovereignty" in the Tenth Amendment.

Once again, we're delving into paranoiac behavior with a persecution complex. This seems to be the mantra of many of these folks. Obama is not going after your guns, people. No one is denying your right to religious expression, unless you do it as part of government business, something that Moore doesn't quite seem to comprehend. Religion has no business in government. As for state sovereignty, didn't we settle that for good about 150 years ago? Didn't we fight a war about that, or am I just imagining it? States still have rights, but they are also beholden to follow the law of the land in certain overarching issues including civil rights and equality for all. Last time I checked, we were still the United States, although Texas doesn't seem too happy about that lately.

In his speech yesterday, apparently Moore quoted scripture and Patrick Henry, much to the delight of the attendees. He said that America's "borders are open to criminals and terrorists who now roam among us." Again with the stuff about Canadian immigrants! Man, they must be badass to be generating such hatred and fear among the teabaggers. I'm really going to be on the lookout for these marauders.

About President Obama, Moore said he "has ignored our history and our heritage by denying we are a Christian nation. An appeal to the God of hosts is all that is left." Either that or "300 million people armed in the cause of liberty."

I have written about this before. For all this speechifying about how we are a Christian nation, and all their orgasmic love over the Constitution and our Founding Fathers, they are completely ignoring both by their continued clinging to the "Christian nation" meme. It is simply not so. And did he just advocate an armed insurrection? Isn't that considered treasonous?

By the way, Moore is running for Governor of Alabama in 2010, and has been endorsed by Chuck Norris, who pushes the levers in the voting booth with a roundhouse kick.

Another speaker was Joseph Farah, who is the editor of WorldNetDaily, a conservative website. (I think I've seen a few of their stories here and there.) He opened his speech with jokes about...President Obama's citizenship. That's right. The Birther movement is alive and well at the tea party convention.

To loud approval from the crowd, Farah said his dream is that if Obama seeks re-election in 2012, he won't be able to go to any city in America without seeing signs that ask, "Where's the birth certificate?" The fact that the rest of the media has declared the issue settled is proof, he said, that it's not.

To me, this speaks of the irrationality of this group more than anything else they do and say. The twisted logic of thinking that because the media says it's no longer an issue only "proves" that it still is...that's just beyond paranoia and frankly, it's pretty fucking stupid. It wasn't up to the media to "prove" anything, anyway. It was up to the hospital where he was born in Hawaii, by them producing his birth certificate, which they did. It was up to the judges who heard the continued suits filed by wild-eyed, batshit crazy Orly Taitz; the judges threw the suits out as having no merit, one of them even slapping her with a hefty fine for filing a frivolous lawsuit. If you're sticking with Orly Taitz and continue to believe that President Obama is not a U.S. citizen, you're just as batshit crazy as she is. Get some help. Seriously. Or maybe you're just a dumbass. That can be even harder to fix.

[As an aside, speaking of Hawaii...back when McCain picked Palin as his running mate, I was making fun of writing about her foreign policy experience, which consisted of Alaska sharing a border with Canada, and being able to look over and see Russia (As well as Putin rearing his head into U.S. airspace...hahaha...still a classic!). I said that since I've been to other countries, I thought I was qualified to be Vice-President, too, and since I eventually want to go to Hawaii one day, that would give me even more foreign policy experience. Someone actually thought I was serious, and believed that I thought Hawaii is a foreign country. heehee I still find that funny, and it says more to me about that person's obvious lack of any sort of irony or sarcasm detector. Or maybe it goes back to the dumbass factor.]

Some of the topics covered today included involving youth with the conservative movement. Apparently not too many young people showed up.

Jordan Marks, executive director of the conservative Young Americans for Freedom, suggested that activists use Facebook, volunteer to speak at high schools ("bastions of liberalism") and simply do fun stuff that hooks high school and college-age kids. Marks described a bowling party he organized - "Knock Down the Pinheads of Communism." A strike equaled Mao, a spare, Pol Pot. Mishelle Perkins, a 44-year-old mother of five children, said she supplements her children's education with books by Tea Party authors, but right now it's hard to get them too interested.

No doubt. That bowling thing sounds pretty fun, though. "Woohoooo, I got a Pol Pot!" But wait...high schools are "bastions of liberalism?" I'd like to see their evidence on that. I suppose that colleges are some sort of Dantean level of liberal hell for them.

Another speaker today was Steve Milloy, a guy who believes that global warming is not connected to human behavior, and owner of the site junkscience.com. He referred to modern environmentalism as “totalitarianism,” criticized Lindsey Graham for working with John Kerry on climate change legislation, and called for "reverse immigration" for Gov. Schwarzenegger for his work on environmental efforts.

Milloy...questioned the sanity and morality of cap and trade supporters, whom he called "bad people."

"Bad people?" He's giving a lecture at a convention about a topic he's focused on for years and presumably feels passionate about, and the worst he can come up with is that they're "bad people?" Oh yeah, Steve? Well...I know you are, but what am I? Man, he really needs to work on his Rickles skills.

I tell you what, it's a good thing this convention isn't a long one and is drawing to a conclusion tonight. I don't know how much more of this I could take. I find myself immersed in their words, slack-jawed and glassy-eyed, wondering what Bizarro World I've wandered into. If I stayed there too long, you'd probably find me rocking back and forth, holding onto myself, a little runner of drool descending from my bottom lip. Being the trooper that I am, I'm going to see if there's a live stream on the web of...gulp...Sarah Palin's speech tonight. If I need to, I've got that bottle of tequila that I haven't cracked open yet. I'm thinking that it might be kind of fun, though, if I get myself in the right frame of mind. It looks like it's going to be live on CNN tonight, but I'm not sure if I can handle her on the big screen, so I might have to watch it online; it looks like this site is going to stream it.

Anyone brave enough—or liquored up enough—to join me?

Note: I hope that everyone who got socked by the storm is safe and warm. Don't go out there if you don't have to!

And we’re off!

The very first Tea Party convention is underway! My evil twin Bob [Hi Bob! sip] suggested that I be the official correspondent of our little group here, and I think that's a fine idea. I'm afraid I can't attend in person (although wouldn't that be an interesting time...!), even though tickets are still available for Saturday night's banquet and speech by Sarah Palin, but I will try to glean a few tidbits from the news and from online and write a bit about those. Gee, I'm kind of excited! How about you?

First off, thanks to a new Anonymous for stating their case so compellingly and concisely by calling us all idiots. Way to stand up for your beliefs! Well, in an anonymous sort of way, anyway. But hey, be proud of your accomplishment in successfully not including your name! That was really good, and you know, a total stranger who doesn't leave their name and calls me and my friends idiots? That makes me wonder about my philosophy and my priorities, ponder if I've been wrong in feeling some of the things I do and believing in certain crazy ideas like health care for all. In fact, it just generally makes me want to rethink things....

Okay. I'm done. Next!

I noticed that after yesterday's entry, I had a couple of visits from the House of Representatives, so that was kind of cool! I also see that I upset one of Blackburn's minions. Thanks, bud, for listing some of the things that Blackburn has voted for and some that she has voted against. You know what? I don't care. You know why? Your gal was a co-sponsor of a bill introduced as a reaction to the Birther conspiracy, apparently buying into that idiocy; she called bicycle paths "frivolous and wasteful" (despite requesting millions in earmarks herself); and she maintained that the health care bill mandated death panels for the elderly. All completely ridiculous. You must be so proud.

I read yesterday that this convention was getting pretty big. I don't know if Nashville can accommodate all those teabaggers. (That's what they started calling themselves, by the way.) A horde of 600 angry teabaggers has descended upon that fine city! Run for the hills! Granted, this is billed as being for those who who are running local chapters, a way to work together to consolidate their movement. From what I've seen throughout the years, though, it's hard to consolidate if you don't have clear positions on things, or if you're clamoring without content and fomenting without form. It takes more than "I'm mad!" to make a movement to be reckoned with, and to all these leaders of chapters throughout the country, I say, "Lotsa luck with creating form from chaos."

I checked out the website today, and aside from seeing that there were still tickets available for the banquet and keynote speaker Saturday night, I got to read about the schedule. Even as I write, they are enjoying a meet & greet (with hors d'oeuvres!), to be followed by the kickoff speaker, Tom Tancredo. This is the guy that thinks that all illegal aliens should be immediately deported, and said, "They're coming here to kill you, and you, and me, and my grandchildren." I think that's really a rotten thing to say about Canadians, who seem like a gentle, loving people to me, but I suppose he's entitled to his opinion. I think someone should ask him why he hates Canadians and thinks they're out to kill him and his grandkids. I'm curious, and maybe we need to assess the extent of the Canadian threat. I mean, if we've got murderous Canadians sneaking across our border, shouldn't we address that issue?

But wait! The evening is young! Tonight's entertainment will be provided by Lisa Mei (I had to look her up...she describes herself as a right wing extremist, is retired Air Force, and is a "Conservative singer/songwriter available for performances at your next rally, summit, tea party, march, convention, etc.") and...the one, the only...Mr. Ray Stevens. That's right, the man who brought you "The Streak" will be playing to those teabaggin' crazies tonight! Party on, Ray! Party on, teabaggers! I would certainly hope that they aren't driven into a frenzy by the song and decide to...you know...do that. That would be bad. [clapping hands to head...Get out, mental images!]

The streaking orgy will be followed by a prayer session for the convention and for our nation, and then there will be a showing of a movie called "Tea Party--the Documentary." (Does anyone know if that made the list of Oscar nominees for best picture?)

And this is just the first night! Goodness gracious, what delights are in store for us Friday and Saturday? Stay tuned.