Get up, get on the good foot, and Get Out

We don’t go see movies in the theater that often, mainly because we have so much to watch at home. It’s kind of a special treat to go to the theater. We have a couple of movie franchises that we always see in the theater: Star Trek and Bond. I think Tarantino movies are now included in that rarified air.

We had heard enough good things about Jordan Peele’s movie “Get Out” that we decided we wanted to go see it now rather than waiting for it on DVD or streaming. It even won out over the John Wick sequel, which is saying a lot because we loved the first movie!

No regrets on our choice. I am still jazzed over the movie and we’ve been home for over an hour. It is like a drive-in movie, but better. It has all the elements of a drive-in movie—or a B-movie, if you will—but it’s smarter and more subtle. The creepiness is insidious. On the surface, everything seems fairly cool, if a little awkward, but you just know that something deeper is happening.

I’m generally very quiet in the theater, but this was a movie made for a raucous crowd, and there were cheers, jeers, and laughter at various points throughout the movie. I’ll cop to occasionally yelling, “Kill him!” It was a pretty good crowd for an early evening show in the Bend, so I’m going to go out on a limb and say that this movie is a bona fide low-budget hit.

For a low-budget movie, it absolutely delivers. It is legit scary, it is dark and creepy, but there are moments that are both cringe-worthy and hilarious. It struck me as “The Stepford Wives” but about racism rather than misogyny.

This movie is a blast and well worth a watch, whether you see it in the theater or later. It is not one to miss!

Terrifying!

Last night there wasn't much on TV, so we decided to watch a movie. Ken pulled out three possibilities from which I was to choose, and since it was Halloween weekend, I thought a scary movie was in order. I chose one called "Haunting," also known as "A Haunting in Connecticut." Looked like a classic scary movie, allegedly based upon a true story, of a family moving into a house that just isn't quite right. The usual hi-jinx occur, cold pockets of air, mysterious voices, ghosts appearing in the little girl's bedroom, demonic possession, priests, an exorcism...good, scary stuff, right?

Well, it was good, all right, but I'm sure not in the way they were intending. I laughed my ass off (but quickly reattached it). Apparently, this originally appeared on the Discovery Channel as a documentary, and the entire movie was narrated in that style. As if that weren't annoying enough, they often talked to the participants so that their faces were in shadow; all of the action took place in a "this is a reenactment" manner, complete with bad acting and ridiculous dialogue. And I have a question. If these people were from the East coast, why did the women all have southern accents worthy of a Springer guest discussing how she isn't sure which of her boyfriends knocked her up?

A quick synopsis, and I'm not even going to warn of spoilers, because if you waste your time on this movie, you deserve to have it spoiled! Teenage boy has leukemia, has to have special treatments out of state in Connecticut. It's breaking the family's back financially, so they decide to move there to save the cost of commuting daily. Mom makes a trip out there, finds a big ol' house for amazingly reasonable rent (has she never seen a freakin' horror movie?!), family moves, shit starts happening. The sick kid and his little brother sleep in the basement, and Mom and Dad find an adjacent room that Mom didn't see when she first looked at the house. What is all this strange equipment? Why is there a steel gurney in the middle of the room? Why is there a freezer here? Why is this tubing coiled in the middle of the floor, and why does it look...stained? And oh...is that a bone saw?

That's right, this beautiful old house used to be a funeral home, and the boys are sleeping next to the embalming room. They soon start seeing movement through the glass doors to the embalming room, and the sick kid starts hearing someone whispering his name. The little girl is playing in her room and looks up to see a creepy female ghost. Mom (who seems to be a bit of a sadist) points out that there is no one there, and the little girl needs to shut her pie hole. Mom is mopping the kitchen floor...and is shocked and horrified when the water turns to blood, and she just keeps right on mopping it around. Yeah, they're living in a haunted funeral home, but the rent is so cheap!

Ohhh, let's see, then some other stuff happens...sick kid gets possessed by some goateed demon wearing full black contact lenses, sick kid's personality changes (evidenced by him sitting in his basement room listening to that evil rock music with *gasp* electric guitar, and starting to wear all black clothes—I kid you not), sick kid tries to get freaky with his girl cousin, sick kid gets hauled off to the loony bin, warning his family that "Now it will come after you." It does. Mom gets knocked on her back by goateed demon and her neck starts to swell. (What exactly was that demon doing to her, anyway?) A priest is consulted, determines that the place is lousy with demon infestation, an exorcism is authorized. Holy water is flung, words are said, demon picks up girl cousin and slams her against the wall (I think demon has some rage issues against women), demon flees, sick kid gets out of the loony bin and is no longer loony (or infested with a demon), family moves out.

Maybe it was the half a bottle of Chardonnay I consumed during dinner and this movie, but I was cracking up. This has got to be one of the worst movies I have ever seen, right up there with the likes of "Plan 9 From Outer Space," "Howard the Duck," and that crappy meteor flick with Ben Affleck and Bruce Willis. I think they really intended this to be creepy and spooky, but I couldn't stop laughing. Would I watch it again? Only if some of you cool kids come over and watch it with me while we give it the full Mystery Science Theater treatment. It was so deliciously bad that I want to share it with others and spread the misery around a little bit. It would be a hell of a lot of fun to MST-ify it with some of you.

::sigh:: Have I become too jaded in my horror movie life experience? Is a haunting old hat? Are demons outdated? Do exorcisms induce ennui? I don't think so; I still can't watch "The Exorcist" by myself. But movies like "Haunting" are so non-scary that they're humorous. If some of you want to come over and enjoy make fun of it with me, I'll make munchies and get a keg. C'mon over. We'll have some laughs. It'll be fun.

SCORE!

Man, did I ever score big at Circuit City today! I intended to only get 3 movies to flesh out, if you will, our horror movie collection, but they had some great titles! And I promise, I'm done buying movies for a while--we've got plenty to keep us occupied for some time! I even put one back--"Bram Stoker's Dracula." Good, but not one of my absolute favorites.

In addition to the classics "Fright Night" and "Carrie," I got the relatively new "1408," one I haven't seen yet.

They also had the remake of "The Hills Have Eyes" (haven't seen that one yet, either), "Hostel Part II" (the first one was really good and creepy, and this is the unrated version of the sequel...uh oh), "Thirteen Ghosts" (haven't heard much about that remake yet, but it looks intriguing...didn't a fellow Spotter recently write about this movie?), and I was thrilled to find another old classic: Clive Barker's "Hellraiser." I think Ken may not have seen that one, so that's a must-watch soon!

I LOVE Clive Barker's writing--it's some of the most unusual and downright out-there stuff in the past couple of decades. Much of it is more fantasy than horror, but he can ratchet up the Creep-o-meter as well as anyone, and "Hellraiser" is a great example of that. Pinhead and the other Cenobites are the stuff of nightmares. (Personally, I found Chatterbox and Butterball creepier than Pinhead, though.)

What is it with me and horror movies, you ask? Hey, thanks for asking! I'll tell you: I'm not really sure. I know that I've loved them ever since I was a little girl, watching the Creature Feature in our darkened basement. It's something that I have thought about before, because people have wondered how I can watch some of this gruesome stuff. I guess it's because I have a clear delineation in my mind of what is real and what is fake (Much like the "real America" that Palin is speaking about lately, apparently as opposed to...what? Faux America?), and I know that these things aren't real. I think it's the same reason why some of us find roller coasters so horrifyingly exhilarating...you're pushing the envelope, you're taking a risk, it feels as though you might die...but it's all in fun and it's all safe.

Watching a horror movie is like that for me. It's fun to get a little scared, have that rush of adrenaline, imagine how scary it would be to be in such a situation, but you're doing it all from the cozy comfort of your couch. You can turn the light on when it's over. It's an experiment in terror that is controlled by you. The fright is mixed with laughter, because you know it's not real, and you can laugh at yourself because you jumped when someone clamped their hand on your shoulder. (KEN!)

I think that's some fun stuff, and that's why I love creeeeeepy moooooovies. Heh heh heh....