Friday, January 22, 2010

Obsession, thy name is…

Obsession2 Apparently, it's Beth.

I'm sure some of you remember the encounters here with various Anonymous commenters. One of the most epic was right after the election of President Obama (I guess some people just get pissy when their candidate loses), when Anon attacked me and my readers. It actually ended up being quite a bit of fun, resulting in a couple of phrases that I still treasure: "Get off the cross, Mary, we need the wood!" from Miss Ginger, and "I'll cut him so bad he'll wish I hadn't cut him so bad!" from Milwaukee Dan #2. Ahhh, good times! A couple of blogger friends posted this list of troll types and it made me laugh, because my Anons have exhibited several of these behaviors.

Well, although my Anon admirers have been quiet lately, my statistics show me that they are still avid readers. One who sometimes hides itself using a proxy (but actually lives in the Cincinnati area) and a collaborator who lives in Rhode Island. I know who these people are, and for whatever reason, they seem to have an almost morbid fascination with me. Sort of a love-hate relationship...they obviously do not like me one iota, but just like Jack said to Ennis in "Brokeback Mountain," they can't seem to quit me. I mean, I know I'm charming and witty and all, but you'd think that they'd eventually have their fill and move on.

But no. They continue to read stalk me, often checking me several times a day. I can only come to two conclusions:

1) They secretly want to be me. They are so fascinated by my fascinating life, with my reading and blogging and Rock Band and fascinating political opinions, that they are consumed by every little fascinating thing I write, hanging on every fascinating word to the point of obsession. Every little thing I do is magic, and these gals know it! I’m fascinating!

B) They have some sort of big ol' girl crush on me. Again, there's that wit and charm, apparently so irresistible to them. Sorry, gals, I don't swing that way. I hate to disappoint, but I prefer a little meat with my potatoes, if you know what I mean, and I think you do! It is flattering, though. And not that there's anything wrong with that. But you'll just have to learn to yearn from afar, because you're not really my type, anyway.

Obsession Of course, my blog is public, and anyone who wants to read it can do so. However, if someone obviously feels such contempt for me (although there seem to be deeper feelings, as I mentioned above) and has shown it here and in emails before, I would think that they would question their motives in continuing to read what I have to say here. We all come across blogs that we don't care for, and I don't know about you all, but if I have major disagreements with the author's opinions or attitudes, I pull up stakes and move on. I don't obsessively continue to read, and if I did so, I would question my reasons for doing it. It is certainly unhealthy and unbalanced behavior to continue to be drawn back to something that you despise.

I suggest that my stalkers consider getting some help, because your obsession with me is...well, it's a little unseemly, don't you think? If you're getting off on reading about my life, maybe you need to rethink yours, or at least rethink what gets you off. There are better ways to do that, you know! (But please don't think of me...that would creep me out.) In the meantime, I'll just keep doing my thang, living my life, and enjoying myself. You might want to set your sights and focus your energy on living your own life, rather than obsessing about mine.

20 comments:

  1. Proof that I can't quit you: You switched to freakin' Comic Sans and I still read this blog.

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  2. They just can't resist your magnetic personality! Got to go check out that troll types list; I'm always up for a laugh.

    Okay, now you've got me humming that Janet Jackson song, "Like a moth to a flame, burned by the fire, that's the way love goes."

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  3. You are SOOOOOOOO bad (and I love it)! You just know this post is working your Beth-obsessed good time gals into a lather!!!!! And I know that's why you posted it. Well played!

    I have one serious stalker. He is a bitter gay man from Las Vegas who loves to call me fat and disgusting and how much he wishes I would die. And he REALLY hates my Arby's posts for some reason ('DON'T YOU KNOW THAT SHIT IS KILLING AMERICA!!!!!! IT'S THE REASON WHY THEY HAVE TO MAKE DOORWAYS AND CHAIRS BIGGER - BECAUSE PEOPLE LIKE YOU ARE SO FAT!!!!' - yeah, a real charmer).

    So every time I hit the "Publish" button on an Arby's post, I giggle because I know it'll make him NUTS.

    XOXOXOXOXOXOXO

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  4. Hi Beth,
    I have this mental image of your Anons glued to their PCs, fixated on your every word, green with rage and envy. I'll bet they're dying to comment, but afraid of the consequences ... especially if they're not really all that anonymous, afterall! Gotta love those site trackers!
    Best,
    Marty

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  5. You know, the proverbial 'they' say there is a thin line between love and hate. Not so much for me, I just luvs ya.

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  6. I don't have any trolls.
    And I don't know if it's a good thing, or a bad thing.

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  7. There are parts of many people I'd like to incorporate into my personality, but I wouldn't want TO BE any other person. Maybe it is a little jealousy on their part, but many it is genuine interest as well.

    I've come across posts of yours I totally disagreed with, or found a tad bit obsessive(Sarah Palin...), but I still read you on & off. You're interesting. Take it as a compliment.

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  8. OF COURSE they want to BE you!!! Who wouldn't! You're cute, funny, skinny as all get out, don't have to work, live in the country, and have a hottie husband and a precious kitty, plus lot's of great friends! Hell, I'd try to knock you off and take your place, but Ken might get suspicious when "you" started showing up in a whole new sparkly wardrobe, because I know your stuff won't fit my big ass! Oh, and he'd probably wonder why "Beth" is suddenly wearing her hair "up" all day long! Guess your safe!

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  9. "You're" safe! Typo... I know the difference!

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  10. Beth, you do have the best of everything! I want a cyber-stalker.
    How did that old SNL parody go? "Between heaven and hell, there's Compulsion, a disinfectant by Calvin Kleen."
    You've got a few OBDs in your midst. That's so cool. Where can I get one?

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  11. I should pay more attention to some of the comments left here...

    You know, maybe their lives before you was tragic which is why their love for you goes on..?

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  12. my word for you is cool. I always agree with you also...especially on Palin. Stalkers suck. But then at this point i think half of those we "know" online are not who they say they are. I hope your stalkers stop stalking you.

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  13. You just keep doing your thing Beth...we love you that way...as Sherry says you are "cool"
    love Sybil x

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  14. Damn,is your cyber stalker still around? We have so many sickos in the world......such a shame.

    If we had more people like you, what a lovely world it would be! Hugs, Rose

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  15. i miss my troll.lol.funny how it had a go at me after i left it a comment on yours lol.coincidence of course.shame i bite when poked lol,take care beth,you are my friend,so any troll wanting a go at me for that,feel free.remember being anonymous does not mean we dont know who you are. love mort xxx

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  16. You're lucky. I have to go looking for mine because they click on to an ancient entry to dump their dirt.

    DB

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  17. You know I love you and your blog. Your insights are so 'spot on.'

    I only wish I were as prolific as you.. so my 'stalkiness,' such as it is, is envy...

    btw, am considering going back to college on my GI Bill.. can creative writing classes and journalism classes be far behind?

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  18. As you know, my troll is not anonymous. Just when I think she's gone, she returns with vigor! I "unfriended" her on FB, but she still kept commenting on my blog. I want her to stay away. She's #7 on that list.

    Yes, I'd like to be you, too!

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  19. Hey Beth, I'm pretty happy not having stalkers or anon freaks. They sound fun, but then not so much. Obsession seems better left as a cologne or a song.

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I'm funny how, I mean funny like I'm a clown, I amuse you?