Obsession, thy name is…

Apparently, it's Beth.

I'm sure some of you remember the encounters here with various Anonymous commenters. One of the most epic was right after the election of President Obama (I guess some people just get pissy when their candidate loses), when Anon attacked me and my readers. It actually ended up being quite a bit of fun, resulting in a couple of phrases that I still treasure: "Get off the cross, Mary, we need the wood!" from Miss Ginger, and "I'll cut him so bad he'll wish I hadn't cut him so bad!" from Milwaukee Dan #2. Ahhh, good times! A couple of blogger friends posted this list of troll types and it made me laugh, because my Anons have exhibited several of these behaviors.

Well, although my Anon admirers have been quiet lately, my statistics show me that they are still avid readers. One who sometimes hides itself using a proxy (but actually lives in the Cincinnati area) and a collaborator who lives in Rhode Island. I know who these people are, and for whatever reason, they seem to have an almost morbid fascination with me. Sort of a love-hate relationship...they obviously do not like me one iota, but just like Jack said to Ennis in "Brokeback Mountain," they can't seem to quit me. I mean, I know I'm charming and witty and all, but you'd think that they'd eventually have their fill and move on.

But no. They continue to read stalk me, often checking me several times a day. I can only come to two conclusions:

1) They secretly want to be me. They are so fascinated by my fascinating life, with my reading and blogging and Rock Band and fascinating political opinions, that they are consumed by every little fascinating thing I write, hanging on every fascinating word to the point of obsession. Every little thing I do is magic, and these gals know it! I’m fascinating!

B) They have some sort of big ol' girl crush on me. Again, there's that wit and charm, apparently so irresistible to them. Sorry, gals, I don't swing that way. I hate to disappoint, but I prefer a little meat with my potatoes, if you know what I mean, and I think you do! It is flattering, though. And not that there's anything wrong with that. But you'll just have to learn to yearn from afar, because you're not really my type, anyway.

Of course, my blog is public, and anyone who wants to read it can do so. However, if someone obviously feels such contempt for me (although there seem to be deeper feelings, as I mentioned above) and has shown it here and in emails before, I would think that they would question their motives in continuing to read what I have to say here. We all come across blogs that we don't care for, and I don't know about you all, but if I have major disagreements with the author's opinions or attitudes, I pull up stakes and move on. I don't obsessively continue to read, and if I did so, I would question my reasons for doing it. It is certainly unhealthy and unbalanced behavior to continue to be drawn back to something that you despise.

I suggest that my stalkers consider getting some help, because your obsession with me is...well, it's a little unseemly, don't you think? If you're getting off on reading about my life, maybe you need to rethink yours, or at least rethink what gets you off. There are better ways to do that, you know! (But please don't think of me...that would creep me out.) In the meantime, I'll just keep doing my thang, living my life, and enjoying myself. You might want to set your sights and focus your energy on living your own life, rather than obsessing about mine.