Obsession, thy name is…

Apparently, it's Beth.

I'm sure some of you remember the encounters here with various Anonymous commenters. One of the most epic was right after the election of President Obama (I guess some people just get pissy when their candidate loses), when Anon attacked me and my readers. It actually ended up being quite a bit of fun, resulting in a couple of phrases that I still treasure: "Get off the cross, Mary, we need the wood!" from Miss Ginger, and "I'll cut him so bad he'll wish I hadn't cut him so bad!" from Milwaukee Dan #2. Ahhh, good times! A couple of blogger friends posted this list of troll types and it made me laugh, because my Anons have exhibited several of these behaviors.

Well, although my Anon admirers have been quiet lately, my statistics show me that they are still avid readers. One who sometimes hides itself using a proxy (but actually lives in the Cincinnati area) and a collaborator who lives in Rhode Island. I know who these people are, and for whatever reason, they seem to have an almost morbid fascination with me. Sort of a love-hate relationship...they obviously do not like me one iota, but just like Jack said to Ennis in "Brokeback Mountain," they can't seem to quit me. I mean, I know I'm charming and witty and all, but you'd think that they'd eventually have their fill and move on.

But no. They continue to read stalk me, often checking me several times a day. I can only come to two conclusions:

1) They secretly want to be me. They are so fascinated by my fascinating life, with my reading and blogging and Rock Band and fascinating political opinions, that they are consumed by every little fascinating thing I write, hanging on every fascinating word to the point of obsession. Every little thing I do is magic, and these gals know it! I’m fascinating!

B) They have some sort of big ol' girl crush on me. Again, there's that wit and charm, apparently so irresistible to them. Sorry, gals, I don't swing that way. I hate to disappoint, but I prefer a little meat with my potatoes, if you know what I mean, and I think you do! It is flattering, though. And not that there's anything wrong with that. But you'll just have to learn to yearn from afar, because you're not really my type, anyway.

Of course, my blog is public, and anyone who wants to read it can do so. However, if someone obviously feels such contempt for me (although there seem to be deeper feelings, as I mentioned above) and has shown it here and in emails before, I would think that they would question their motives in continuing to read what I have to say here. We all come across blogs that we don't care for, and I don't know about you all, but if I have major disagreements with the author's opinions or attitudes, I pull up stakes and move on. I don't obsessively continue to read, and if I did so, I would question my reasons for doing it. It is certainly unhealthy and unbalanced behavior to continue to be drawn back to something that you despise.

I suggest that my stalkers consider getting some help, because your obsession with me is...well, it's a little unseemly, don't you think? If you're getting off on reading about my life, maybe you need to rethink yours, or at least rethink what gets you off. There are better ways to do that, you know! (But please don't think of me...that would creep me out.) In the meantime, I'll just keep doing my thang, living my life, and enjoying myself. You might want to set your sights and focus your energy on living your own life, rather than obsessing about mine.

Start walkin’, boots!

A surprisingly busy afternoon! First I stopped by my doctor's office to get the H1N1 shot. But Beth, you ask (that puzzled look on your face is so adorable), why now? It's not a big deal, so why bother?

I had planned to get it all along, but since I'm not in a high risk group any longer, I decided to wait until the vaccine was readily available to everyone. (If I were still working in the lab, I'm sure I would have had it some time ago.) Although the risk seems to have passed, I've written before about how viruses are pesky little mutants, and there is no telling what this thing might do. It could come back in a second wave; it could come back in a more virulent form. While this vaccine might not protect against a mutated virus, it could offer some protection. I've also read that this could be a part of next year's seasonal flu vaccine, so that might give my immune system a jump on that.

So I called yesterday, popped in this afternoon, and bada bing, bada boom, I was out of there in no time. My arm is a little sore, but nothing different from the regular seasonal vaccine, and I have to say that I feel fine. But if I behave erratically in the next few days, or act all emotional and junk, or get all sarcastic...I'm blaming it on the H1N1 vaccine. I hear those are rare side effects.

After that, I went shopping. You all know that I'm not a fan of shopping, but I wanted to get some new bras that fit better. (TMI? Too bad. More in a moment.) I did not go to the mall. I hate the mall. Instead I went to Kohl's. As much as I hate the mall, that's how much I love Kohl's. That's why I do my best to stay away.

I found some excellent bargains. A cool pair of leggings with skull and crossbones on them; a nice black suit jacket for like 80% off (would look nice with slacks or jeans); the kind of Colts shirt I wanted to get, a fitted T-shirt with 3/4 sleeves; and my absolute favorite bargain today...these BOOTS!

I'd been wanting a pair of boots for a while. Low-heeled black ones that would look good with jeans tucked in or left out over them. These were 60% off, and they were really comfortable, and just perfect! I love the chain on the heel. I'm very pleased. As for the bras (guys, you can stop reading here, if you like)...did you know that 70% of women are wearing the wrong size? I read up on how to measure, and got some general guidelines. No substitute for actually trying them on, and I think I must have tried on two dozen of the bastards. Not a fun way to spend an afternoon, believe me. I also discovered that the guidelines are just that; there were several different sizes I tried on with various success. Some just didn't feel good and some just didn't look good. Some caused spillover and some felt like I had my tits in a vice. I finally found something comfortable and cute, a Candie's "balconette" bra. No, I won't be providing pictures, but you can Google "balconette bra" to get an idea. :) It made me wonder if it has anything to do with the balconies in the French Quarter in New Orleans, because walking down Bourbon Street on a weekend night, you see plenty of balconette bras and plenty of the contents of said bras! (Equal time on the guys, too. The full moon was out, and sometimes the full monty.)

On the upside, I found out that...well, I ended up with a bigger size than I thought I'd need. Yeah, baby! That made my day!

[Disclaimer: Yes, I realize that this was a frivolous entry considering what is going on in the world. I also realize that my search for a bra doesn't matter one single iota in the face of such misery. I also realize that to focus entirely and ceaselessly on that misery is more than I can bear at times. We all need to break away at times, and this was my time.]

A sad day

RANCHO SANTA FE, Calif. - Glen W. Bell Jr., an entrepreneur best known as the founder of the Taco Bell chain, has died. He was 86.

Bell died Sunday at his home in Rancho Santa Fe, according to a statement posted Monday on the Taco Bell Web site.

A spokesperson for the family said that Mr. Bell will be folded into a tortilla-like shroud, and laid gently to rest on a bed of shredded lettuce. A bowl of pintos 'n cheese will be at his side.

Yes, I made that last part up. I mean no disrespect to the family—it’s much like saying that the inventor of the Frisbee was laid to rest on the roof of his house, or the inventor of the Slinky had her remains pushed down the stairs. (I'm not responsible for the former, but I'll cop to writing the latter some time ago.)

I can say that I have a love-hate relationship with Taco Bell. I don't eat fast food often, and Taco Bell can be awfully calorie- and fat-laden, but when the Taco Bell urge hits, there is no denying it. When the time is right, it tastes like ambrosia. I don't eat as much as I used to, but back in the day, my usual was a Burrito Supreme® and Nachos Bellgrande®. Yes, both of them. Now I'd just get the Burrito Supreme®. With sour cream, and lots of it, thank you.

So rest in peace, Mr. Bell. You may have given me more than one stomachache throughout the years (they don't call it Taco Hell for nothin'), but you've also given me many happy moments as I gave into the crave and ran for the border.