Sunday, March 20, 2011

What have I become?

Palin empty headNo, I haven’t become Sarah Palin. [shudder] When I got up yesterday and started checking some of my feeds, I saw on one that Sarah Palin’s speech in India was going to be livestreamed. I was still waking up, not ready to go out and workout at the moment, so I thought what the hell? It was starting right then, so I popped on over to the site to watch a few minutes of it. I figured I wouldn’t be able to last more than about ten minutes, but I ended up watching the whole stupid thing! Why, and how, and what is wrong with me?!

The why and how is because there were a few like-minded individuals there, and we started having a pretty good time laughing at Palin. (I even made a new Facebook friend out of it!) Now, the live chat consisted mostly of Palinbots who think she’s beautiful and smart and the next President of the United States, and they obviously didn’t care much for me and my wisecracking new pals. They started calling us trolls, and I’d be lying if I said that didn’t give me pause. I thought about it: Am I a troll? Am I one of those mouth-breathing, window-licking obsessives who love nothing more than to stir up trouble and hurt others?

I really didn’t have to think about it for long. The answer is no. I went there with the intention of listening to Palin’s speech and perhaps finding some blog fodder (which I did!). This was not any sort of conservative site dedicated to praising Palin (like Palin's own Facebook page is). This was a site from India that was livestreaming the speech, and I had every right to be there. I also had every right to criticize Palin and her speech, and I did that. I didn’t make my attacks all that personal, and probably the worst thing I said is a line that I used on Facebook some time ago, saying that her jacket looked like the lining of a whore’s coffin. (I cracked myself up on that one!) I made several comments about things she said in her speech…many of the things she said were just generally stupid and outrageous. Her speech was typically tortuous and twisted, full of run-on sentences that, when she stops speaking, make you go, “What the fuck did she just say?” In short, nothing new. Except for one thing that I’ll get to in a moment.

I wasn’t there to attack any of the Palinbots, and I did not do so. I attacked Palin, yes. This was not a Palin site, this was a site that was open to all, and to all opinions. I didn’t just get called a troll, though. When the guy introducing Palin said that a poll showed that she was the frontrunner in the Republican primaries, I wondered what poll, because none that I’ve read recently show her as the frontrunner at all. Quite the opposite. She’s tanking. Even plenty of Republicans don’t want her to run. One of the Palinbots wrote this: “Beth shove a poll up your a$$, then you’ll know what poll.” Haha! I was like, “Really? Shove a pole up my ass? No thanks, it’s not even noon here yet.” The person had a snappy comeback: “Better a poll than your fist.” What does that even mean?

Another person apparently looked up my profile on Facebook, because he asked, “Beth, what did you think of the most pro-abortion president in history speaking at ND?” I didn’t take the “pro-abortion” bait. I mean, really, who is “pro-abortion?” I’m not. I’m pro-choice. I don’t think our President or anyone else is wanting more women to have abortions. (Of course, if the Republicans get their way and strip funding from Planned Parenthood, that’s exactly what they’ll get. But that’s a topic for another day.) I merely said that I thought it was a great speech and it was an honor to have the President in my town. I didn’t mind the question, because it wasn’t asked in a nasty way, so I answered it honestly and respectfully. There were comments about President Obama “vacationing” in Brazil, and there were really lovely comments about Michelle being a “fat skank.” I think some comment was made about their daughters having abortions, but I don’t recall exactly what it was.

Palin shut upI insulted no one there except for Palin, and I really wasn’t that nasty with her. I honestly despise the woman and I think she’s an idiot, and I was laughing at the stupid shit that she said. I don’t think that makes me a troll. Just someone who thinks Palin is an idiot. There are actually quite a few of us who feel that way, Palinbots, and if your “gal” decides to run, you’ll encounter a lot more of this, and much worse than what I gave you yesterday. I found it astounding to see the vitriol directed against the President and his family (there was also some directed against Palin and her family, but that wasn’t coming from me), especially his “taxpayer-funded vacation to Brazil.” Somewhere along the line, it seems that diplomatic trips by the President of the United States became a deplorable thing, and I get the impression from these people that they think it’s a matter of the welfare family in the bad part of town—and oh yeah, they’re black people, doncha know—sucking the country dry in order to have their fun gallivanting around the world and eating like pigs. And they wonder why we think they’re racist. Has anyone ever seen a bunch of people so pissed off about any other President taking trips overseas, meeting with foreign heads of state, and attending or giving state dinners? Yeah, me neither. There’s a reason for that, and it’s quite obvious to me.
Back to Palin’s speech. What is probably getting the most attention from the media is something she said in response to a post-speech question about China.

I personally have huge military concerns about what is going on in China. What's with the build-up? You don't see a tangible outside threat … to that country. Is that just for a defensive posture? How can that be? Stockpiling ballistic missiles, submarines, new-age ultramodern fighter aircraft. It certainly means America needs to be vigilant looking at what China is doing.

Gee, what other country has no tangible outside threat, but stockpiles weapons and spends more than any other country does on their defense budget? What country is currently in the midst of TWO WARS, and now possibly beginning a third? Which country might that be, Sarah? Holy fuck, what a goddamn idiot. (I couldn’t help but laugh at the “new-age fighter aircraft” remark. Are new-age fighters powered by crystals? If they THINK of the missiles as fired, do they fire?)

Kanwal Sibal, former foreign secretary and columnist in India, said this about her statements concerning China:

I am surprised at her openness when speaking about the Chinese threat, especially when she is on Indian soil. China will not fail to notice this.

So thanks a lot, Palin. You have no official capacity as an American agent; your “job” is as a ClusterFox commentator, you give rambling speeches that make little sense, and you and your ghostwriter Mansour have sold some books. You travel to another country and make careless remarks about a country with whom we walk a fine line when it comes to debt and humanitarian concerns. Let the diplomats deal with such matters. Let those who were duly elected work on these things. Write your little Facebook notes—excuse me, post the little Facebook notes that Mansour writes for you—and for the sake of the world, shut the fuck up.

And oh yes...please run in 2012!


  1. Nice article Beth. This is Liam, your new Facebook friend! Ordinarily I wouldn't have watched that speech, but it was a rainy Saturday morning and after I figured out the time difference I realized it was happening in half an hour. I admit I am a little obsessed with Palin, my loathing (yes loathing)for her was immediate when I saw her speech after McCain introduced her as his VP choice. Anyway that whole Facebook chat thing was loads of fun, I knew after I made my first comment and was accused of being an employee of George Soros that there were some serious Palinbots on hand. What is wrong with those people.

  2. "I couldn’t help but laugh at the “new-age fighter aircraft” remark. Are new-age fighters powered by crystals? If they THINK of the missiles as fired, do they fire?"

    Tell me she did not say that about China's "defensive posture." I can't even express my disdain adequately.

    One of the great things about the New Age Air Force is that it funds itself by believing that it has everything it needs. But that, of course, is Top Secret.

  3. It is scary enough that the Palinbots think she is pretty- I guess if you like uptight nuns with big ugly glasses she might be attractive- but to think that ANYONE could possibly think she is SMART just scares the bejeebus out of me!

    It's hard to believe this woman came out of B.F. Nowhere just a few short years ago and now acts like she is queen of the fucking universe!

    It just goes to show, there are lemmings out there that will follow anything that plays the Jeebus card first!

  4. I heard most of it, and it was mostly amusing.

  5. Love the "bumper sticker." If she dares run for the GOP nod, I'll have to find it for my car. ;-)

  6. She's a mental nomad stuck in her own sand dune.

  7. “Better a poll than your fist.” What does that even mean?

    Who ever made that remark was referencing the act of 'fisting'. You will have to get a further description elsewhere.

    My hope is that the world doesn't take her seriously and conveniently tolerates her bluster. I hope she doesn't run, my sweetest friend (and you get a no-prize if you can figure that reference out... I expect you will!), because if she does, her chances of becoming President becomes too great for me to imagine...

    ...oh, as to being a 'troll'... how about being 'informed'... I am sure that if she was really a bright light then you would have intellectual disagreements with her positions... but confirming that she isn't is simply due diligence in finding out what kind of potential canidate she is... the scary thing about 'Palinbots' is that information and knowledge has been replaced by what they 'feel' on the inside... and anyone who is semi-cute, sorta literate, and racist, is their kind of person...

  8. Ugh. I can't stand reading those quotes because I hear them in her moron voice!

  9. Palin never ceases to entertain me. Of course, I might not find it so entertaining if she actually got elected. To anything.

  10. Perfect post, Beth! I'm glad you're back to commenting on Palin. I missed it. You were right on, as usual, with this one.


I'm funny how, I mean funny like I'm a clown, I amuse you?