If my day keeps goin’ this way

...I just might break somethin’ tonight. I’ve been channeling Limp Bizkit for the past few days, and I have spent quite a bit of time swinging on my very last nerve.

You know how it is when something happens, and it’s not good, but you know you can shake it off and forge ahead? Then another thing happens. And another thing. When you snap, you try to do it in a controlled way that doesn’t hurt anyone too badly, and you pretty much succeed with that...then one more thing happens that leaves you a hot mess of anger, befuddlement, sadness, and just plain pissiness. You’re left vacillating between whether to go fling yourself onto the bed and sob into your pillow or rip the head off of the next person who dares to cross you.

I’m happy to report that I did neither, and I am in a much better frame of mind now. I spent some time feeling low, and I was angry and upset, but no one was permanently maimed. I’m kind of learning to walk away from some things, because I’ve realized that there are times that it does no good; you can provide the most eloquent argument in the history of mankind, provide facts, provide personal anecdotes that add to the emotional appeal of your entreaty, and it all runs face first into a wall of stubbornness and intransigence. I’m learning that this ultimately hurts only me. I was shaking in my anger and losing sleep, and just generally feeling crummy, and I came to the realization that I don’t have to engage.

Don’t worry...the fight hasn’t been knocked out of me yet. I’ve just decided to be a little more selective with my battles. I’ve got better things to do than argue just for the sake of arguing, especially when someone doesn’t really want to have an actual discussion. They just want to smack you on the head repeatedly with the sledgehammer of their own opinion, with no possibility of giving an inch. I like to discuss things, and I do my best to stay polite and civil. I think that I am willing to admit when I’m wrong, but I don’t back down from facts. (For the record, “because the Bible says so” is not a fact.) When someone refuses to accept a fact as a fact, you know it’s pointless to continue.

To paraphrase Dr. Evil, the details of my distress are inconsequential. It doesn’t matter who it was or what happened, and I wouldn’t detail that here, anyway. I am not speaking to anyone specifically, because there were multiple incidents. What matters is that I am not going to be drawn into anyone else’s melodrama, and if your intention is to pick a fight, you won’t find one with me. I had a few moments when I was ready to go all American Psycho on some people, but I didn’t. There is too much fun to be had in the world and plenty of good things to read and see and listen to...and dealing with your drama doesn’t fall into any of those categories for me. Sorry, but I have better ways to spend my time.