Wednesday, September 5, 2012


ButterflyI have plenty of other things to write about (our recent trip to Kentucky, the Democratic convention—wow, did our First Lady knock it out of the park, or what?!—the bizarre compulsion Republicans have to crawl inside the wombs of American women, among other things), but what is at the forefront of my mind today is change.

Not political change. Not Ken’s job change, although that is part of what prompted my pondering on this. Personal change. How we grow and develop as human beings.

‘Change’ is sometimes tossed around as a bad thing. As in, “Oh, how you’ve changed.” The implication is that you’ve changed for the worse. That certainly can be true for certain people, but I tend to see personal change as a necessary thing. If we’re the exact same people we were when we graduated from high school, for example, that doesn’t speak well for our sense of self-awareness, our empathy for others, or our ability to learn from our mistakes. Stagnation isn’t good for anyone.

It has been said that I have influenced Ken for my own nefarious purposes (although the source is dubious, at best), changing his values and belief systems. How silly. I don’t have that much power over anyone, and wouldn’t wield it in that way if I did. Ken is his own person, as am I. Of course, we discuss things; we pay attention to the world around us, we see what is working and what isn’t, and we talk about our thoughts on such matters. Not just with each other...we have friends and family that we also toss around ideas with. That is actually one of the more enjoyable things in life for me: having good discussions with others so that I can work out my own ideas on something.

This is how we grow, both intellectually and as human beings. My positions on many things have evolved throughout the years. I started out an idealistic liberal; I became fairly fiscally conservative for a while (although I’ve always been pretty liberal on social issues); I made another big swing back to the left, and I’m guessing that’s not going to change. I started out being for civil unions rather than full marriage equality. Like President Obama, my views on that have evolved, and I now fully support equality for all of our citizens.

I didn’t just decide to switch my opinions because I was, oh, let’s say running for political office. (Not to mention any names. *cough* Mittens *cough*) I took the time to read about things, took the time to fully think them through. I am not a religious conservative, although I was born into a religious conservative family. I made my own way and made my own decisions. I did not make them lightly, either.

So I find it ludicrous that anyone would disparage a person’s changing stance on such serious issues as religion and politics. (Attributing Ken’s changing stance on things to me is even more ludicrous.) Or even non-serious issues like types of music, or taste in movies. Aren’t we kind of supposed to ponder things, experience new things, branch out from our tiny little corner of the world? Isn’t that what makes life the exciting adventure it is? Oh, I suppose I could sit here and not challenge my previously held notions, take the easy and safe path of conformity, but what fun would that be? To take that path seems rather lazy to me.

One of my mottos in college was “Question Authority.” It was cool and rebellious for the time, and I can’t say that I’ve retained any sort of major disrespect for authority. However, I continue to question, and I hope I always will. Life wouldn’t be as interesting without pushing the envelope on occasion!


  1. “Oh, how you’ve changed.”

    I never thought of that phrase as something meant to disparage someone... I think that they note the 'change' because the observed has now become unfamiliar and has evolved.

    As far as "those who dare not be named" alleging that you pulled some witchcraft (or voo-doo... runnin' from my magic!) is ludicrous. What can you do... hater's gonna hate!

    But the lack of growth does not have to be a complete or overall shortfall. I think that a person can be stunted in one area and have it cast its shadow over their character. I know a few people that I would accuse of that crime myself.

    Question what you think you know... question what you are told... I think it is a sign of growth and a hallmark of a balanced mind.

  2. as long as i'm still breathing i'll keep questioning.....


  3. It may not be about change at all, but about finding someone that has the same values and that you can be completely open with, not hiding any aspects (such as religion and social values) to suite the environment. LUHP :o)

  4. To live is to's that simple. There is no doubt we can influence those around us, for the worse or the better or even just different. But each person is responsible for their choices, their beliefs, their values. Your mentioning Ken several times, makes me think there is a person or persons in your life that feel you've influenced him negatively. Do they not give him credit for being a smart, savy adult man with the God given free will to think and choose as he desires? That it is natural and expected that a married couple over time will begin to see things more and more alike? Truth be told, I'd bet you being with Ken has changed your attitudes about some things as well. And sometimes we can admire or support a loved one in an outlook that we don't hold for ourselves. Pardon, it seems I'm rambling and reflecting. Yes, change in life is going to's up to us and our responses to change that determine whether it is "good" or "bad".


I'm funny how, I mean funny like I'm a clown, I amuse you?