Tuesday, November 18, 2014

Be all you can be

Strength B&WI’ve been seeing this meme make the rounds that says “When a woman is loved correctly, she becomes ten times the woman she was before.”

I’d just like to say that that is the biggest pile of steaming horseshit I’ve seen for some time.

Obviously, the people posting this are women. What guy would post that? This strikes me as wrong in so many ways. It’s as if these women are saying that they are incomplete without a man who loves them “correctly.” (Who defines ‘correctly,’ anyway?) That they are not good people without this knight on his steed who saves them from their own horrible and imperfect existence. That they cannot be a whole person on their own.

Who still thinks this way? What low self-esteem a person must have to think that another person is all that will make them a better person...that they are incapable of doing it on their own.

I do think that a supportive partner can inspire you and make you strive to be a better person. I see the good things that Ken does and the good person that he is, and that makes me want to be that kind of person, too. However, as a small woman, I am limited in some of the things that I can do safely. I don’t pick up people to give them a ride, for example.

That doesn’t stop me from doing what I can to work on being a better person, but that effort is not contingent upon Ken. We are all a work in progress and we learn from our mistakes. That started many years ago, it was happening before I met Ken, and it is happening now. This is something that I would be doing even without Ken, and although I appreciate him and he inspires me to be more involved and to be a better person, I can’t say that it’s only because of him that I make that effort.

Never think that you need someone to complete you, or that you can’t be the best person you can be on your own. YOU are the one who needs to do that, and expecting a partner to do it for you is lazy and unfair. Unfair to your partner, but also unfair to yourself.

Is this a good time to wish my husband a happy anniversary? I’m not sure...but happy anniversary, anyway, honey!


  1. LOL... the internet has allowed the worst in people to come out in more ways than the obscene... it has induced into our culture the ultimate victimhood complex... almost a syndrome... of whining and crying rather than sucking up and bulling through things... easier to frame things in simple cause/effect meme rather than look within and fixing what is wrong there...

    1. I cannot argue with that one little bit, Mark.

  2. Any time is a good time for a happy anniversary.

    What makes us a great pair is that we are ourselves, but also one with each other...

  3. What if the the love they are talking about is learning to love oneself?


I'm funny how, I mean funny like I'm a clown, I amuse you?