Friday, March 24, 2017

A Necessary Vent

People are strange when you're a stranger
Faces look ugly when you're alone

~~ “People Are Strange” by The Doors

I need to write or my head is going to explode.

And guess what? It’s not even about politics! There is plenty to write about there, that’s for sure, and you know I will have plenty to say about it. But this is all me. Thank goodness for the steady things in my life, because they are keeping me on an even keel. Like I told Ken tonight, every day that goes by brings me one step closer to becoming a total hermit.

Exhibit A:

A long-time friend has apparently absquatulated (I got to use one of my vocabulary words! Yay!) completely from our friendship and almost completely from social media. This happened once before and I pursued it and tried to find out what was going on. I thought everything was cool and then it happened again. No word whatsoever about taking a break, just a promise to “write soon.” That was over two months ago. I’m not pursuing it again. To quote Merle Dixon, “I ain’t gonna beg!” Be my friend or don’t. But you don’t just get to vamoose without an explanation and expect to still have a place in my heart.

Exhibit B:

I discovered yesterday that another friend defriended me on Facebook, although they stayed friends with Ken and a couple of my friends. I finally got an answer to that tonight...I “put them on mute” months ago. Yeah, that’s right, I did. You know why? Because I couldn’t stand the constant bashing of Obama and Hillary. The same crap that I was hearing from my conservative relatives for the past eight-plus fucking years. I didn’t want to see that in my feed every damn day because I can’t stand that kind of constant negativity, but that didn’t mean I didn’t want to be friends anymore. I unfollowed a few people on Facebook last year for the same reason, but I still value them as friends. I don’t doubt that several people unfollowed ME last year so they didn’t have to see my numerous political posts and I even told them to do it! I said that I get that not everyone is into politics as much as I am and that not everyone wants to read what I have to say about it, so I said, “If that’s the case, don’t hesitate to unfollow me. I understand, and I won’t be offended!”

But nope, this person somehow realized that I unfollowed them and instead of ASKING ME ABOUT IT, decided to unfriend me.

I repeat: be my friend or don’t.

At least this brought about a funny moment. When I had lunch with Shane and Matt the other day, I said, “I have to ask you guys something. Have I turned into an asshole?” With a totally straight face, Shane said, “Well, we’ve been meaning to talk to you about that,” and Matt said, “That’s why we called this meeting today. It’s an intervention.” We all cracked up!

Then I told Ken that I guess I’m too opinionated for some people. He said, “What? Why didn’t you tell me this?” I said, “I know, I know...I should have warned you about it before we got married.” So we had a laugh, too.

For the icing on the cake, I give you Exhibit C:

I was talking to my Mom today and she asked me if I could look up an address on the computer. I said sure, if it’s listed. She said, “Okay, it’s in So-and-so, Indiana.” I said, okay. She said, “I want you to look up So-and-so.” It was my ex-husband. MY EX-HUSBAND.

I said, “Aww man, no. Why do you want to contact him??” Jeez, we’ve been divorced for over 25 years. She said she came across some sort of medals or pins that my ex got when he was in the military, and he had given them to my Dad. I said, “I’m not really sure he’ll appreciate being reminded of me.” She said, “Well, sending these to him won’t be reminding him of YOU.” Right. Because having my Mom contact him won’t remind him of me. ::sigh::

But she was adamant about sending these things to him (She said, “I know it’s what your Dad would have wanted.” Well-played, Mom. Well-played.), and I could understand her reasoning, so I looked it up and found the address. She asked, “Is there a phone number there?” I lied and said no. I feel absolutely zero guilt for lying about that. It’s one thing to send those things to him and write him a note. It’s quite another to call him up after over 25 years. “Hey, how ya doing? Remember how my daughter divorced you?” I have to laugh. But really, he has his life and his family and I have mine and I have no desire for them to ever come in contact again. Knowing him, he’d probably ask her if I was still possessed by a demon. (Yes, he really told me once that he thought I was possessed by a demon.)

It’s been a frustrating and rather maddening day. My patience level has flatlined. I do feel a little better after writing it out, though.

And tomorrow is another day. A big weekend coming up, with our Green Day concert in Detroit! We’ll be hitting the road with Shane and Matt and we’ll have a kicky blast! Green Day, take me awaaaaaaay!

6 comments:

  1. I had a friend of 20 years unfriend me in the last year.. not sure when he did, went to check and see how he was doing and found out.. probably as he's a Trump supporter and religious and I'm sure my Facebook posts/ comments were too much for him..i miss the guy but I'm not going to apologize for being me and expressing my thoughts and views.

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    1. That's my feeling, too. I am who I am.

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  2. Wow! Yeah, I might not have wanted my Mom to contact my ex, either. As for the other...whataya gonna do? A cousin I hadn't heard from in years sent me a friend request about a year ago, and I accepted it. From her news feed it didn't seem that we had very much in common, but she was family, and I was still in contact with her dad and her brother. I liked or commented on the occasional post of hers and enjoyed seeing pics of her granddaughter. Then recently when I was re-grouping some of my "friends" (Do you do that?) I realized that she had unfriended me. I could see she was still on FB and had even updated her profile picture recently, but she had unfriended me. I'm still puzzled about that. Did I post something that offended her? Weird. I didn't even bother contacting her to see if there was a problem. Don't even care. I have too many other important things to think about right now. Glad it helped you to vent. And, oh yeah, I'd been meaning to talk to you about that bitch thing, too. ;)

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    1. LOL at your last sentence!

      I have the same feeling...too many other things going on, others who "get" me, people who enjoy my company. I'll spend my limited amount of introvert energy on them. Haha!

      I only have one designated group and I call it Limited Access. That's for friends and family who I know will be offended by something I post. It's not often that I hide posts from them but it's nice to have the option.

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  3. A friend of mine was having coffee one morning with her second husband. He passed the obit page to her & tapped a certain obit. She read it. Then asked if it was a past coworker of his, a fiend, etc. He said: IT'S YOUR EX-HUSBAND.
    HAAAAAAAAAAAAA. I think that is exactly how some ex-husbands should be dealt with. Medals from Mom, eh, Ok. Chatty phone calls? NO.
    A good vent, great music, & loved ones affectionately poking at you~all excellent ways to get through this.

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    1. Oh man, I can totally see myself not realizing that particular name was my ex. You do go along for years and not think of them, or at least I do. I'm glad to know that I'm not the only one who thinks a chatty phone call just isn't cool.

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I'm funny how, I mean funny like I'm a clown, I amuse you?