Living on a thin line

Now another century nearly gone
What are we gonna leave for the young?
What we couldn't do, what we wouldn't do
It's a crime, but does it matter?
Does it matter much, does it matter much to you?
Does it ever really matter?
Yes, it really, really matters
Living on a thin line
Tell me now, what are we supposed to do?

~~ "Living on a Thin Line" by The Kinks

Hey, long time, no see! 

There have been many times when I've felt like writing but just didn't seem to have it in me. It seems that much of my energy lately is devoted to just trying to hang in there as I watch everything go to shit around me. 

Not personally, not at all. Ken and I are hanging tough and dealing with what we need to deal with. I have a great family that I can always count on if I need to bend their ear and vice versa. We have supportive friends, too, and I don't feel personally worried. 

But as for our country, OHMICOD WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIEEEEE! 

An exaggeration, yes. My greatest feelings of despair stem from realizing that we have lost our standing as a moral beacon in the world. And yeah, yeah, I get it...we are NOT always all that moral. We've done some shitty things over the centuries. But didn't we use to stand for something? Didn't we use to have that ideal that said that you could be whatever you wanted to be if you worked hard? Didn't we use to be the place that people wanted to come to because they knew that they would have a chance to make a better life for themselves and for their families?

Didn't our country develop its unique culture and strength through diversity and the input of immigrants? My own family came over from Germany in the late 1700s and began farming on land that my ancestors got because of early service to this country. Both of my parents' families were dirt poor when my folks were growing up during the Depression and I know that there are plenty of us whose families faced the same or similar hardships. So why are some of these same people looking down on those who want to come here to try to do better for their families? Didn't they all have the same motivation?

I love my country, I really do. Yes, we have made and continue to make mistakes (understatement of the year), but the past couple of years have left me ashamed and apologizing to my friends in other countries. "I'm so sorry," I say. "I apologize for what is going on right now," I say. 

I am sick of apologizing. I want to be proud of my country again. I want to be able to say "I'm an American" without immediately apologizing and saying that I do not support this so-called president and I do not condone his actions. Ken and I try to be good ambassadors for our city, our state, and our country, so how about if this so-called president makes an attempt to do the same? Can he please stop embarrassing us on the international stage?

I try not to feel despair...or at least I try not to dwell on it. I try to keep in mind that the arc bends slowly and that sometimes it's two steps forward and one step back. At the same time, I absolutely reject the politics of hate and I condemn every single person that embraces hatred and divisiveness. I have no time for your crap and I am going to call you out every time I see it. I may not have the "best words" but I've got some good ones and I know how to use them. 

We really are living on the edge right now, pals. Don't you feel it? 

It's up to each one of us to decide which side we are going to be on.