Just For One Day

And the shame was on the other side

Oh we can beat them, forever and ever

Then we could be Heroes, just for one day

~~ “Heroes” by David Bowie

I promise that this isn’t going to turn into a “Today in James Comey News” blog. Although this is a wee bit about him, there is a broader subject here: our collective need for heroes.

I thought of this because as I’ve followed his Twitter feed and watched his number of followers continue to climb (so much so that his pal Benjamin Wittes jokingly complained about how Comey already has a lot more followers than he does), I’ve seen a common theme in what people tweet to him. Basically, it’s thank you for your service and courage in speaking out and standing up to the “president.” He also seems to have a devoted female following, so it’s not just me! But overall, I get the impression that people see him as a person of integrity who is trying to do what is right.

I know, I know...there are still those who think he is a partisan hack. He’s also attracting an increasing contingent of trolls who think he should be locked up. That’s not going to happen but nothing good comes from arguing with those people. I’m also not going to argue with my friends who are still mad at him about the email thing and don’t see him—or the FBI, for that matter—as any sort of hero. I’ve laid out my reasons for why I changed my mind about him and came to believe that he made the decisions he felt he had to as Director of the FBI. I’m not going to relitigate that.

But I’m seeing a genuine desire for justice. People talk about their “Justice Crushes,” including Comey, Mueller, and other lawyers and legal types who are either working on the investigation or providing commentary on complex legal matters. We are experiencing what many of us consider to be a truly dangerous attack on our republic and on its checks and balances. It seems that the judicial branch is what is keeping our heads above water right now and stopping the “president” from going full-on dictator.

So it is no wonder that we see people like Comey and Mueller, stolid, stoic, and implacable, as heroes of sorts. The mental image (whether true or not) of Comey being appalled by the new “president,” disgusted by his requests for a pledge of loyalty as well as overstepping the boundaries of the necessary separation of the president and the Department of Justice resonates with all of us who have ever had a boss we found to be acting unfairly or unethically. The mental image of Robert Mueller, working diligently to ferret out any whiff of corruption in this White House or the campaign, is important to those of us who want justice to be served. We’re not talking about blowjobs here...this is about possible interference by a hostile foreign power trying to do us harm and possibly enlisting members of a campaign to help them (even if they may have been useful idiots). As Comey said, “This is a big deal.” And as Joe Biden said about something different, “This is a big fucking deal.” (Still applicable to this, though.)

We want the bad guys to be caught and we want to see them brought to justice for their crimes. That is engraved in our collective consciousness. When we see cops chasing down and tackling someone who committed a crime, when we see the FBI working doggedly to track down terrorists, when we see prosecutors building a case to convict, when we see justice prevail, it is something that makes us feel that things are working the way they are supposed to and it makes us feel safer.

Is the system perfect? Far from it. Guilty people go free. Innocent people are jailed and sometimes even executed (that’s why I can no longer support capital punishment). We see miscarriages of justice (I’m talking to you, O.J.) followed by the meting out of justice (I’m talking to you, O.J.). We see mistreatment of people and wrongful deaths. No, it is not a perfect system, and we need to keep having the conversations in order to make it better and better. Those conversations should never stop.

Heroes take many forms. I have friends who are heroes to me because they have turned their own personal tragedies into advocacy for various causes. We encounter everyday heroes who stand up to bullies or stop on a highway to help someone change a tire or push someone out of a snowy ditch. These are little actions that help make the world a better place.

We all have that potential; it’s just a matter of doing what is right and helping others when we can. I think we all feel that deep down, so seeing people like Comey (talk about standing up to a bully!) or Mueller seeking justice is something that speaks to us all.

I don’t know what will happen. I can only hope that justice will be served. Served like the most beautiful piece of chocolate cake you’ve ever seen.

Tuesday’s Good Tidings and Great Joy

If the phone rings

Tell him nothing

Or maybe one thing

That hell is coming

'Cause he wasted your time

In a year you'll be mine

~~ “Drinking Lightning” by AWOLNATION

Believe it or not, I didn’t obsessively watch election coverage Tuesday night. Even I have my limits, and watching returns from the Governor’s race in Virginia seemed a little much. Besides, we went out for dinner and then to a Notre Dame men’s basketball game (our first of the season!), so I focused on that and left politics behind for a few hours.

But after the game, we listened to CNN on the way home and learned about the good night for the Democrats. It wasn’t until later, when I read more in-depth analysis of how good a night it was, that I realized that we had kicked some serious ass.

I can’t pretend to know what this bodes for the 2018 midterm elections. We are still a year away from that. But Tuesday was a very good night. It was if a switch had suddenly been flipped. Like many of my fellow Democrats, I have been dealing with occasional feelings of despair and dread throughout the past year. As I’ve written, I do my best to cope by using various tactics, including music, books, and the goodwill and good cheer of family and friends. It works most of the time (at least for me), but I still have my dark days and my angry moments.

Tuesday night changed all that. Various people tweeted about how our hope is back. I absolutely agree. But I said that it is more than that: it is EMPOWERMENT. Just as we fought against the repeal of the Affordable Care Act, people have been working on campaigns that fight for progressive principles, and we won BIG Tuesday night.

This is the most hope I have felt for a year. People are motivated, people are pushing back against the Yamagenda, and people are saying “Enough!” This is an amazing thing to watch! We are seeing that our efforts are having results and that is a powerful thing. It is a reminder that political efforts at the most basic level (canvassing, phone banking) can accomplish something.

If any of my fellow Democrats are still feeling despair, I say, “Take heart!” The people of America are standing up and speaking out against hatred, bigotry, and divisiveness. We are speaking out for diversity and inclusiveness. There is still plenty of work to be done but enjoy Tuesday night’s victories for what they were: a rejection of those who seek to divide and sow seeds of hatred and bigotry.

Forward, Warriors. Our mission is clear, our hearts are true, and the democratic process in our country is not dead yet! Let’s work!

Hey, check it out...I made it through an entry without mentioning James Comey! (Jaaaaames.)

Dang it! (An entry about that coming soon.)

The Same Old Game

Every day just the same

Old rules for the same old game

All I gained was heartache

~~ “The Bed’s Too Big Without You” by The Police

Yesterday, I was feeling lowdown, dirty, and mean. Just kind of generally pissed off at the state of affairs right now, you know? I’m still pretty pissed off about the stranglehold the NRA has on our nation, but today was mo bettah.

This is purely instinctual and most of you know that I don’t like to deal in gut feelings very often. I want facts and rational thinking. But I also know that sometimes you get a feeling about a person when you meet them...you can just tell that they’re a bullshitter, or that they’re full of themselves, or that there is something inauthentic about them. I’ve learned to trust those instincts as I’ve gotten older. That’s why I knew early on that the Yam was the King of the Bullshitters, and I have been proven right over and over again.

So anyway, today I felt a subtle change in our nationwide gun debate. To be clear, I don’t think that anything will be done soon, because we apparently have a bunch of ball-less wonders in Congress (and that includes both sides and both genders) who love their handouts from the NRA. Do I expect any forthcoming legislation? Nope. And that makes me feel as sick and disgusted with things as ever.

I can’t put my finger on it but something just seems a little different. I could very well be wrong and I might just be putting my own confirmation bias on it. But this is two horrific shootings in just a few days and I wonder if some people aren’t starting to wonder if this is how we really want to live as a nation. It will forever be to our shame that we didn’t do something after Sandy Hook and we all bear that shame. (Some of us more than others.)

There was also something off about all the “thoughts and prayers” comments that were spewed everywhere today. It seemed as though lawmakers were just spouting the usual lines and that even they didn’t believe them anymore. I’m sure that I’m not the only one who is sick of these useless platitudes.

Nothing is solved and nothing will be solved for the foreseeable future. This is a hard truth to accept. But it is also a truth that the majority of Americans want to see strengthened background checks and common sense gun laws. Will that solve every problem or prevent every mass shooting? No. But can we at least start fucking somewhere? Why is that so difficult? It’s a reasonable question.

Yet another gratuitous Comey photo

Last night, I immersed myself in “The Walking Dead.” Today, I stayed home and did my best to get back to my Happy Place™, or at least a place where I wasn’t filled with disgust and rage. I succeeded pretty well. (When I heard Ted Cruz speaking, I decided that enough was enough, and I switched over to music.)

I found some joy today as James Comey switched to his real name on Twitter and he is 100% his own self on there now (and a verified account, to boot). Those books aren’t gonna sell themselves, right? He’s good at the slow tease on Twitter. I should probably rephrase that, but I’ll let it stand. I put on my dangly silver peace sign earrings and that made me happy, too. Sometimes it’s the little things.

I can’t snap my fingers or wiggle my nose and make things better. But I can make an effort to find some peace in my own little corner of the world, and then I’ll go from there. Gotta put your own oxygen mask on before helping others, right?

Here’s the mono version of this great song. I think it has an interesting sound to it, and I might like it better than the album version.

More coping

You came along and you made things right

You are my song and you are my melody

~~ “Melody” by *repeat repeat

Well, it’s been quite a week, hasn’t it?

The Mueller investigation is bearing fruit, so that was a positive thing. I’m grateful for that.

I was happy to be at the Notre Dame-Wake Forest game on Saturday and see a win. It was crummy weather and we got rained on a lot, but we got the win. And it didn’t snow!

But things took an ugly turn.

I’m still trying to find the positives in things. I’m trying really hard.

Another gratuitous James Comey photo (Jaaaaaames)

At the game on Saturday, I got to experience some of the right-wing’s hatred of Hillary and I attempted to use an approach that James Comey (Jaaaaaames) recommended to me. Reach out, keep your cool, have a conversation. Ask questions in a reasonable way. I tried, I really did. And it didn’t make one bit of a difference, at least not that I could tell. Unless maybe, just maybe, they’ll think about the comments they made and think about my reaction, and think about why they felt the need to tell me they loved me. Perhaps a bit of a crisis of conscience there? I don’t know. But I found it really disturbing and upsetting.

Today, we found out that there are more Russian connections in the Yaministration, ones that the individuals lied about in their confirmation hearings. This is not normal, it will never be normal, and we cannot let it become normal.

Finally, we had another mass shooting, this time at a church in Texas. As of this writing, there are 26 confirmed dead. The usual platitudes from congresscritters were uttered: “Our thoughts and prayers are with them.”

I cannot begin to tell you how completely and utterly sick I am of hearing about “thoughts and prayers” with every goddamn mass shooting we have in this country. Those seem to be happening on an almost daily basis. They just keep on offering up those “thoughts and prayers” and people just keep getting their goddamn heads blown off, including kids.

Fuck the NRA. They are a cancer upon our society and they are active participants in the murder of innocent people. How long is it going to take to have legislators who will stand up to this awful, awful group and say, “I don’t want your blood money.” How long? Who will have the balls to do it?

I watched the coverage for a while and then I had to stop. I keep writing about this bullshit, this bullshit keeps happening, and I don’t see an end to the bullshit anytime soon. Let me say it again: Fuck the NRA. And while I’m at it, fuck you, too, Wayne LaPierre, you horrid wankstain upon humanity.

So! What did I do to try to cope with this latest round of disgust and anger? I went with music, as I almost always do. A current favorite is *repeat repeat out of Nashville and something about their music makes me feel good about things. Their music can rock most righteously, but there are also moments of sweetness and light, especially in the vocals of Jared and Kristyn.

I needed some sweetness and light this afternoon. I think we all could use some sweetness and light.

Put this in your earholes. It might not change things (that’s up to us, isn’t it?), but it might lift your spirits for a moment. And sometimes that’s what we need to keep on keepin’ on.

Fangirl Rising

My heart goes tap tap tap

Like tapping on a beaker

~~ “Chemical Reaction” by *repeat repeat

The Handsome String Bean of Justice

Fangirl is on Cloud Nine.

I won’t go into how I was able to send an email to James Comey (Jaaaaaames) because I don’t want to disclose my methods. Fangirls have a code and I will not violate it. (We don’t really have a code. It’s more like my personal code.) I also won’t share his email on social media, which is also a personal code. And no, I am not a hacker. I wouldn’t even know how to go about that.

But I was able to send an email and it went through because I got a response today. When I saw that he had responded, I broke out into a sweat and I had this crazy rush of adrenaline. “What have I done?? Is he going to tell me to leave him alone and don’t ever write to him again?”

No. He was very kind and thanked me for my comments and wrote that he was happy to hear from South Bend because he has a connection with someone at Notre Dame (also not mentioning that here), so he tries to follow what is going on with ND. In my original email, I said that so many conversations are difficult in the current political atmosphere (or words to that effect) and that I like his thoughts on communication. He suggested a recent column by David Brooks about dealing with those who have different views and I checked it out. It was very thought-provoking.

I can’t begin to tell you how thrilled I was! I know plenty of people still have issues with him. I get it. But if you spend any time listening to what he has to say (I have...just a wee bit), you start to understand where he was and is coming from. So I admire him a lot. I truly feel that he is one of the Good Guys. I am still stunned that he responded but he does seem to be a lot more open to some limited social media interaction since he has a book coming out. Lucky me!

So that pretty much made my weekend.

Lawyer Up (subtitled Handsome String Bean of Justice)

Breakin' rocks in the hot sun

I fought the law and the law won

~~ “I Fought The Law” by The Clash (originally Sonny Curtis/The Bobby Fuller Four)

Based on comments I’ve seen on social media, I’m not the only one fascinated right now by the Mueller investigation. But I’m no lawyer, so how does one make sense of it all? There are bits and pieces of news coming out almost every day. So-and-so has been subpoenaed. What does it mean that so-and-so is refusing to appear before the Senate committee investigating the Russian meddling? Who can the Resident pardon, and can he pardon himself? Who does Team Mueller want to talk to now, and why? I think anyone who has dealt with a lawyer knows that the legalese is almost impossible to understand unless you have a legal background yourself. I don’t, so I have to look elsewhere. (Sadly, my lawyer friend Sheria is no longer with us, so I can’t ask her anymore. I can’t help but wonder what she would make of all this. I don’t doubt that she would be as appalled as I am.)

While I appreciate legal experts like Jeffrey Toobin on CNN, I’m finding that I prefer to read most of my news these days (listening on Sirius is another good option for me). It gives me enough separation that I don’t get riled up by the talking heads and I can try to parse and analyze it in greater depth. To that purpose, my absolute go-to on these matters is Renato Mariotti, a former federal prosecutor who is currently working for a Chicago law firm and doing occasional commentary on MSNBC. (He is also considering a run for Illinois Attorney General.) I recommend his Twitter feed to everyone (he has a Facebook page, as well) because he is able to cut through the noise and make sense of complex legal issues for us laypeople. He does threads on Twitter that lay out the essential facts in a concise way that is easy to understand, and he is also willing to answer questions when he can. Obviously, the full extent of the legal intricacies can’t be addressed in that forum, but he does a great job of distilling the explanation down to the crucial facts. He’s one of the best “follows” on Twitter right now, in my opinion!

Although he’s not a lawyer (he’s a journalist who writes about legal matters), Benjamin Wittes is another great follow. He is a Fellow at the Brookings Institute and co-founded the Lawfare blog, which is a wonderful and valuable read. He also does threads on Twitter and has great insight into legal matters after years of journalism on such matters.

I will also mention here that he seems to be a genuinely decent guy. When I recently left a comment (one that I take full responsibility for not wording well—I knew what I meant in my head!), he misconstrued my meaning and retweeted me. It was great to be retweeted but it was for the wrong reason and resulted in a pile on of people telling me that I was delusional, in so many words. I scrambled to do damage control, and luckily, he immediately saw my response that I think he might have misunderstood me. I clarified, he apologized not once but twice, and he removed the retweet right away. He could have said, “Fuck it, I don’t know this woman,” and left it up there, but he didn’t. I really appreciate that! The people who were piling on also apologized, so it all worked out well.

Then there is Robert Mueller and his crack team who might just save the entire world. I’m sure there will be more about that as we move forward.

Finally, although he isn’t tweeting about the investigation (for obvious reasons), I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention that my Former FBI Director Boyfriend in an Alternate Universe is tweeting again and the account is confirmed to be his. It’s been known for some months that a particular account was probably James Comey’s (Jaaaaaames), but it was private. This week, he took it public and after posting a photo that was obviously him, the followers started piling up. Wittes is a friend of Comey’s and also confirmed that it was his account. He promises to “tweet in useful ways” and it should be interesting to see what all he posts. Remember, he has a book coming out this spring! He should post a photo of him sitting at an old typewriter, reading glasses perched on his nose. “The author at work.” Haha! I would dig that photo.

What is amusing about Comey’s account is that some people were trying really hard to analyze what was going on with the handful of photos he posted. The gist of it was:

He’s in Iowa.

He’s wearing running shoes.

He’s running for President!

Okay, that’s kind of funny. But probably not a legitimate theory. I would be very surprised if he decided to run, first of all. The more significant thing is that his wife is from Iowa, and her father just celebrated his 90th birthday, per the Des Moines Register. So they were in town for a family birthday party.

Like the old medical school adage, when you hear hoofbeats, think horse, not zebra. Or like when I was doing my internship and we were learning about bacterial meningitis, a headache doesn’t mean you have meningitis...it probably means you have a tension headache, or a neck and backache from carting around all those medical books! (I did not have meningitis, although I was a little worried for a while there.)

Also, bonus points to the person who commented and called Comey a “handsome string bean of justice,” as well to the person who included a GIF of Leslie Jones flirting with Colin Jost on “Weekend Update.” If you can’t hear her voice as she calls Colin a handsome string bean of justice, you’re doing it wrong!

Here, have a Clash song. Yes, yes, I know it’s more of a protest song about the long arm of the law, but I’m using it here to convey that while the Yam and his Yampeople can try to obfuscate and run, the Law will win.

Beth’s Music Moment: A Live Twofer

There's just something

In that music that makes us

Do that dance

In that special brew of tears and

Beer and fear and romance

~~ “Another Guitar” by The Rainmakers

The amazing Richard Butler

Hey, pals! It’s been a while, but I’ve been busy with stuff like going on vacation, getting ready for a party, and just generally trying to take care of business in a world that seems to have gone quite mad.

But I’m still here and most importantly, I am still rocking out.

This is not in chronological order because I’m saving the best for last.

This past Wednesday, we went up to Chicago to see The Psychedelic Furs at Thalia Hall. I’ve been a Furs fan since the early ‘80s, and like many of the ‘80s bands, I took a hiatus over the years but revisited them recently and loved them all over again. When I saw that they were playing in Chicago, I knew that I had to see them live. I’m happy to report that they absolutely blew me away. Ken wasn’t a long-time fan like I am, but he was blown away, too. He agreed that we’ll go see them whenever we get a chance!

Richard and Tim Butler

They sounded incredible—one of the tightest bands I’ve ever heard live. They looked fantastic, with the Butler brothers, lead singer Richard and bassist Tim, wearing these super cool military-style frock coats. They looked just as cool as they did back in the day! And Richard Butler...good lort. I’ve always loved his voice and it was as powerful as ever. He has that deep-edged baritone with a slight raspiness to it, but still smooth as silk. And what a frontman! As soon as he stepped onto the stage, he owned it. There wasn’t a lot of banter with the audience beyond “Hello, Chicago!” but his presence said everything that needed to be said.

The best part, and something that I always notice whenever I see a band, is that they all seemed to be having a good time, especially Richard. The camaraderie and affection seemed genuine to me, as did Richard Butler’s smile. He has that elusive quality of stage presence and talent and he worked us all for everything he could. I was mesmerized!

Absolutely in my top ten concerts (I should probably try to make that list again soon) and I look forward to seeing them again!

Speaking of stage presence, I’ll go back a few days and talk about our fourth house show with Bob Walkenhorst, the Kansas City musician and artist. He is the frontman for The Rainmakers but also travels to do house shows. We have enjoyed these shows so much that this was the fourth in a row and this one was so amazing that the bar is set really high to top it!

Bob Walkenhorst (Photo by Jenn Riches)

We have a crew who usually attends these shows and they were in full force on Saturday. It was a full house. I told Bob the next day that I’m not sure if it was just the atmosphere in the country, or what, but it was like we were all primed for something special. Planets aligned or some shit like that. I don’t know, but everything converged to result in one of the most amazing evenings I’ve ever experienced.

Bob sang his heart out (including a couple of my requests), he told stories about the songs, he talked about my experience seeing The Rainmakers way back in the late ‘80s, he welcomed us all and made us a part of his world as much as we made him a part of ours. As he wrote in the song quoted at the beginning of this entry, it was a special brew. It was certainly an intoxicating one. I wrote him a letter a couple of days later and said that it was that amazing dynamic between a performer and an audience where we feed off of each other. It’s nothing less than synergy! The very day that letter went out, I got an email from him in which he said that it was one of the best nights he’s ever had playing and that he was in heaven. I believe him because after four years, I know that Bob is not a bullshitter (and I have a pretty good BS detector, anyway). He said it wasn’t just him, it was US, and the “common desire to FEEL something.”

That is it exactly. That connection is amazing and it is one that I treasure. I feel music so deeply and it means so much to me. What a wonderful thing to enjoy a performer like Bob who connects on the same level and is able to bring us all to the Promised Land. (I’d dare to say that based on Richard Butler’s performance and demeanor, he feels that same connection with his audience.)

We also had a little dance party after Bob’s performance and let’s just say that booties were shaken and selves were gotten down! (A lampshade may or may not have been worn. I can neither confirm nor deny that. But it wasn’t me!)

In the space of a few short days, I got to enjoy two utterly amazing performances from two amazing artists, Bob Walkenhorst and the Furs, and it renewed whatever passes for my soul. This is why live music is so important and absolutely vital for me. I am often moved by recordings that I listen to, but nothing—NOTHING—beats seeing a band or performer live. Other planes and other dimensions are reached. Hearts are touched, minds are sometimes changed, and as Bob said, we “FEEL something.”

Support musicians, especially your local musicians, by going to see them live! And as I always say, be sure to show the band some love. Chances are good that you’ll get some back and everyone benefits from that.

Rock on, Warriors!