Candy-coated with an ugly nougat center

I'm sure a lot of you have seen this already. It's all over Facebook, where I posted it earlier today. I believe I saw it first on Bob's blog, so thanks Bob. Oh, and Hi Bob! [sip]

I'm no fan of Larry King. I find his interviews boring and ass-kissing. But I really enjoyed this despite it pissing me off so much, because his fairly innocuous question simply highlighted this woman's idiocy. To briefly summarize the whole thing, Carrie Prejean was Miss California in some beauty pageant--Miss U.S.A? Miss America?--who gives a fuck? Perez Hilton, one of the judges and an incredibly annoying person, asked her how she felt about gay marriage. Her answer was that she feels that marriage should be between a man and a woman, sorry, but that's how she was raised. When she came in runner-up, instead of just keeping her yap shut she decided that she didn't win because of her religious views and went around telling everyone about how poorly she'd been treated, blah di blah blah.

When the California pageant stripped her of her title of Miss California because of breach of contract (she didn't show for appearances, difficult to work with, that sort of thing), she decided to slap them with a libel lawsuit for discrimination over her religious views. That suit came to a screeching halt last week when her solo sex tape surfaced, and she settled out of court.

Her refusal to talk about any of that is ridiculous. King wasn't asking her for details of the settlement, and I'm quite certain that there was nothing to prohibit her from speaking about the situation in general terms. I read somewhere (I don't have the source, so can't verify it) that they played the tape for her in a private meeting. As the camera showed the woman's body, she said, "That's disgusting." As it panned up her body to show her own face, I'm certain she had quite an epiphany. Perhaps something along the lines of "Holy shit, I'm screwed." (I take it back: here is the TMZ bit about Prejean's reaction.)

You see, Carrie, your incredible self-righteous priggishness, which is apparently coupled with feelings of self-loathing for your own body, has been outed. You would deny marriage to people who love each other because of your own narrow-minded prejudicial religion, despite the institute of marriage having absolutely nothing to do with religion. Your religion also says that self-pleasure is a sin, and from what I hear, you were sinnin' pretty good in that video you made for your boyfriend. Gee, I wonder if you had sexual relations with him before marriage? Because your religion also says that is a sin. Wow, you're just full of sin, aren't you, Carrie?

This sort of hypocritical nonsense makes me want to projectile vomit. You live your life parading your body in beauty pageants; in order to do better in them, you have your breasts augmented, paid for by the California pageant; when you are called out because of ugly remarks you made concerning your feelings about matters of love, you bat your eyes and cry that you are being discriminated against because of your religion. No one is doing that, Carrie. You believe whatever the hell you want to believe. It's the hypocrisy that disgusts me. But if you want to talk discrimination, talk to the millions of gays across this country who cannot marry the person they love because people like you aren't enlightened enough to understand that it is not about religion! It is about civil rights and what is so fucking hard to understand about that?!

::pant pant pant::

I find this woman an insult. I believe she is an insult to thinking women everywhere. It's one thing to be pretty. I'm not chopped liver, and I'd be lying if I said it hadn't opened certain doors for me. However, at the end of the day, when the rubber meets the road, when the bullet hits the bone, you'd better have something to back it up. If that door opens for you, you can't just stand there and look pretty, give everyone a wink, and expect them to take you seriously. It's not surprising to me that her hero is Sarah Palin, who tried her best to wink her way to the White House, despite a complete and utter lack of qualifications or even enough intelligence to obtain those qualifications, not to mention lacking enough gumption to stick around and do the work necessary to learn about how things work or how to be diplomatic. What kind of person has Sarah Palin as a hero?

People like Carrie Prejean, that's who. A vapid bimbette without enough intelligence to successfully promote her book on Larry King Live. Do you think anyone is talking about how much they want to read your book, you silly bitch? No, they're talking about what a douche you are, to take off your microphone and sit there pouting like a whiny brat while you get directions from whatever manager is pulling your strings. I'm surprised you didn't stick your fingers in your ears and shout "Lalalala I can't hear you!" when Larry was trying to talk to you. I'm guessing your manager reminded you that you were there to promote a book (How long did it take "you" to write it, anyway? Four months like it took Palin to write "her" book?), and you continued the interview. Your petulant, whining manner is matched only by your excessive greed and desire to cash in on your 15 minutes no matter how much you have to whore yourself out to do so, although I can't blame you for trying to cash in anymore than I blame Levi Johnston. If you were really that offended by King's question, go. Get the fuck out. Take a stand. No, you just sat there until someone took pity on you and decided to play nice and back away from any questions that might be upsetting to you.

I find you an embarrassment to my gender. You obviously don't value intelligence, you try to use your looks to get your way, and that is offensive to me. I find you inappropriate. For any of us who have tried to be taken seriously for our education or intelligence, who have dealt with harassment issues, who have had to put up with that glimmer in an eye when we're trying to speak seriously about a subject, you are not helping. You seem to believe that a wink and a smile will get you everywhere you need to go. You are the living embodiment of that old joke about a woman being a life support system for a certain body part.

How many times do I have to say it? Smart is the new sexy. You may be pretty on the outside, Carrie, but on the inside, you are one fucking ugly woman.