Reflecting

It's been a lazy Sunday afternoon at Nutwood, watching football games involving teams I don't care that much about. My Colts play tonight, and it's probably their biggest rivals, the New England Patriots. The Colts have a chance to go 9-0, and they're playing at home, but the Patriots are always tough. I know we can beat them, but will we? I look forward to finding out! Oh, and I did try to set up my workout regimen, but it seems that I need to call to enroll, so I shall to that tomorrow. I got a reprieve!

Since it's been such a quiet day, I found myself doing some thinking. I know...brace yourselves!

I wasn't pondering life's great questions. You know, like What happens when we die? Is there a God? Was anyone besides Thurston and Lovey having sex on Gilligan's Island? Greater thinkers than I have philosophized and tried to find the answers to these burning questions. (Although if you have burning questions, I recommend that you see your doctor.)

No, I was thinking about this blog. First of all, it never ceases to amaze me that anyone actually wants to read what I write. I thank you all, even the Anonymous stalkers, because you, Anonymi, must find something appealing about me to continue reading...and there is always the possibility that you will break your silence and leave a highly entertaining comment which I can pick up and run with. You know I usually do. [evil grin]

Mostly I was thinking about an attitude shift as of late. Some of you may have noticed it, and I have, too. This might come as a surprise to you, but I've always been the tiniest bit opinionated. I've also traditionally been non-confrontational, and believe that people are entitled to their own opinions. I generally won't excoriate someone for their opinion (unless it's the above-mentioned Anonymous commenters, who are just begging to be skewered...oh yes, you know you want it), but I've always felt that if you don't like what you read here, I'm certainly not twisting your arm and shoving your head down onto the page. Free will, baby, it's a beautiful thing.

However, I find myself lately wanting to be more me. I don't want to play to anyone, I just want to be who I am. I'm sure I've offended people in the past, and lost some readers because of it. To be honest, I have a recent feeling of "I don't fucking care." Oh, and I also have a foul mouth and a dirty mind, and I think that is starting to become obvious, as well. As INXS said, foul mouth dirty hearts. Or something like that. I have strong political opinions, and I can warn you that if you are a Sarah Palin fan, you probably won't like what I will continue to write. As always, it is your choice.

I have to say that I feel liberated. I know when to be a good girl, and I'm that way around much of my family (some know how I am, though...not sure how many of my relatives read this). I am a nice person, but I'm not as sweet as I appear. Believe me. I don't want to pander and placate any longer. I just want to be who I am, and I am willing to let the chips fall where they may. Some of you might be offended by my opinions and feelings about politics, religion, and other things I may write about in the future. I can promise you that I wouldn't be offended if you stopped reading. There's that free will thing again.

So meet the new Beth...same as the old Beth. But with a little extra zing. And yes...I'm flashing another evil grin.