Gnats and the Cone of Death

Man, what a relief to stick around here today! I enjoyed being at home today.

Has anyone else experienced Gnats Gone Wild lately? A friend (I forget who) recently mentioned that they were seeing a lot lately, and I was like, “Man, us too!” They’re driving us crazy here in the house. They hang out in the kitchen garbage can, they cling to the cans to be taken out to recycling, and at night, they seem to hover around our computers—AND our faces. It’s maddening! It must really be a year for them. Maybe because it’s been unseasonably warm. I don’t know, but I have just about had it with these em-effin’ gnats in our em-effin’ house!

So I looked for gnat traps online today. I don’t know it there are commercial products out there, but I saw quite a few homemade traps, and thought I’d try that first. Natural is always better, right? So I’m trying the thing pictured here (not my photo, but mine is also in a Ball jar!), and see if it works.

You put 3-4 tablespoons of cider vinegar in a glass or a jar, add a drop or two of dishwasher soap, and curl a piece of white paper into a cone and insert it into the jar. So far, I’m not seeing a major attraction there for the gnats, but I was thrilled when I finally saw one in there. “I caught one!” I hope that the cider smell will start to permeate the paper a little more and attract them. I sure wish I had a piece of filter paper from the lab! Hmm...I bet a coffee filter with a hole cut in the bottom might work well, too. I’m watching it closely, urging the little bastards to crawl in. I hope that when we get up tomorrow morning, I’ll see some dead ones in there. Die, die, die!

Speaking of little bastards (no, not John Mellencamp), I was hearing an odd noise outside earlier today, and when I looked out, I saw the little squirrel we call Piney Squirrel sitting on the grill, tearing strips off of the grill cover. What the heck? I went out and said, “Cut it out!” and he ran off with a strip of cloth in his mouth. He’d torn quite a bit off already, and although there is still a canvas layer underneath what he tore off, he managed to put a couple of small holes in the thing. I understand that you’re trying to make a cozy nest for the winter, Piney, but leave the grill cover alone! Maybe I’ll put out some dryer lint and he’ll like that better. We might need to buy a new grill cover. Perhaps a little duct tape will get it through this winter, though!

Finally, I’ve noticed that this year’s flu shot is providing a more robust immune response than I’ve encountered in the past. I usually experience a very slight soreness, but this year, my shoulder is more sore than usual, and it is slightly red and warm. Do not be alarmed, Citizens! These are normal, mild side effects, and I hope it means that my immune system is really ramping up its efforts to produce antibodies against the strains of influenza included in this year’s vaccine. I don’t feel crummy at all, but the sore shoulder makes it hard for me to sleep on my left side, which is my side of choice. I don’t know if it’s just me, or if the shot this year is a little more of an irritant. But don’t let that stop you from getting the shot. Influenza can be much worse than a sore shoulder, believe me!

A low-key weekend coming up for us. Notre Dame is playing Arizona State in the Shamrock classic, which is in Dallas this year. We’ll be watching that tomorrow evening. During the day, it looks like we’ll head over to the Verizon store and get my [cue “The Price Is Right” announcer voice] BRAND NEW PHONE! I want to go with one of the Samsung Galaxy phones. It will depend on what they have in the store, because I’m not sure I want to wait for something to be shipped. But we’ll see.

I wish you long days and pleasant nights!