Sunday, August 23, 2015

It ain’t me, babe

Have you ever been in that kind of relationship? I have. More than one, in fact.

Fortunately, I came to my senses fairly quickly and didn’t put up with that kind of behavior for long.

Sadly, a lot of women DO put up with it, and even stick around in such an environment for years. I refuse to make any judgments on those women, because who knows what their reasons or circumstances are? Not me. I was fortunate to have a good-paying job, capable of supporting myself, and was able to extricate myself when I saw the direction things were going. (For the record, I realize that the gender roles can be reversed. But more often than not, it’s women who are the receiving end of the belittling.)

One of the things I have always resented is anyone who thinks it is okay to diminish a woman simply because of her gender. Sometimes it’s overt, in the form of sexual harassment. It is more often something as simple as a condescending tone. “Here, let me take care of that.” Or “You don’t know what you’re talking about, little lady.” (Yes, someone actually commented that to me once.)

Believe me, I’m not some rager who is ready to be offended at the drop of a hat. I always got along well with my male coworkers, and that involved a fair measure of joking around. I don’t take offense at crude jokes or remarks, as long as they are not meant in a mean-spirited way. And yes, you can tell the difference.

It’s when your thoughts and ideas are dismissed. It is questioning the validity of your remarks. It is the attitude that you can’t possibly know as much as they do. It is being called a “stupid shit.” No one deserves that and no one has to put up with it.

This “little lady” sure didn’t.


  1. ...just heard a story on NPR on the sexism in the gaming programming community ... this kind of blatant ignorance still astounds me... as far as it concerns women and their roles in this social complex, that many still feel resigned or even obligated to deal with it shows how skewed society still is towards patriarchal norms...


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