May you live in interesting times

And school's out early and soon we'll be learning
And the lesson today is how to die

~~ "I Don't Like Mondays" by The Boomtown Rats

So '80s, so wonderful!

Man, that's dark, isn't it? 

It's hard to find a lot of cheer in the world right now. Ken and I still find the humor in things and still have plenty of laughs, but fuck, things are grim right now. Even the biggest sense of humor in the world—and we both have very healthy ones—is taxed at times. 

I find myself very emotional lately. (Ken will be like, "What's new?" when he reads this.) Yes, I am usually that way but I find myself losing it to things like songs (like the one I'm posting here) but more so to watching videos from hospitals in Italy and around the world as they try to handle this outbreak. 

[Intermission]

I started writing this last night and found that I just didn't have the stomach to finish it. I felt very disheartened. I felt better today and I'm not in despair or anything. But shit, this is messed up, man. It is dismaying to hear reports of the lack of equipment both on the news and from friends and family. 

And I can't even talk about the so-called "president's" response to it all. He's either preening about his beautiful, amazing response to this or whining about how certain Governors aren't kissing his ass enough. I'm just done with that for the night. He is unfit. That is all I'll say about it for the moment. 

I've been thinking about it and about how I feel so emotional at certain times. I'm not kidding, I'll listen to a song and end up with tears running down my face. I'm always kind of bad that way, but I'm a little off the rails right now. I've decided to be okay with that and just accept it. We're all plenty scared right now and worried about people. It's a natural reaction. It's okay to feel deep emotions. In the face of dire situations, I can shut it all down and let my rational brain take over. I can be quite stoic and not lose my shit when all around me are losing theirs. While we're staying at home and watching this all unfold, I give myself full permission to get as weepy as I want. It's not constant...it's just certain things hitting me at certain points. (I'm looking at you, "Star Trek: Picard"!)

I've had friends message me asking how we're doing and we try to encourage each other. Do this, as often as possible. Reach out to people and if you need a little encouragement, don't hesitate to reach out to others. We're all dealing with this and we're all weirded out and wondering what's going to happen. Sometimes hearing a simple word of love and friendship can do a lot to make us feel better. Dick jokes are always funny, too! The world could use more dick jokes right now. 

Stay engaged, stay connected, and yeah, there's probably a dick joke in there somewhere. Grab it! 

Life, I mean.