Why I watch

Now, you chicks do agree
That this ain't the way love's supposed to be
Let me hear, let me hear you say yeah, yeah
Can I get a witness?

~~ "Can I Get A Witness" by Holland, Dozier, and Holland

I've been watching the daily press briefings when possible and to be honest, that is most days now. It's rare for me to miss one. 

I've had numerous friends ask me how I can subject myself to it. How I can "torment" myself. How I can handle it. 

I've had more friends tell me that they count on me to provide commentary because they just can't stand to watch it. I am happy to take on that mantle because of my answer to the first question: I am bearing witness. 

Yeah, It raises my blood pressure and yeah, it makes me crazy for a while...but we are experiencing this right here, right now, and I want to be able to say that I witnessed virtually every moment of this so-called "president" and his utter failure to handle this crisis.

I want to say that I heard him say, "I bear no responsibility." 

I want to say that I listened as he blamed everyone from Barack Obama to the World Health Organization to the individual states. 

I want to say that I watched as he chastised journalists for not praising him for a job well done. 

This has never been more true than today, as I watched him completely melt down as he was grilled by reporters about his response and lashed out at them for daring to question him. As I write this, it happened five or so hours ago and I am still gobsmacked by his unhinged performance. This person is not well. I know it's been said before, but if one of our relatives behaved in this manner, we'd be having a family conference to discuss what is going on and what our options might be. 

And we're talking about the leader of the free world. 

This is not normal. This isn't within spitting distance of normal. This is a full-on batshit DEFCON-1 level of NOT NORMAL. 

As upsetting as it can be, I'm going to watch every fucking minute of it. I'm not melting down. I'm not losing my shit. (That would be him, not me.) I am not subjecting myself nor am I tormenting myself. 

I am watching.