Abiding

It's nine years later, and all the appropriate tributes and memorials are going on around the country and on the Web. I won't bore you with my story of where I was that morning--we all have our own stories, and some are more harrowing than others. Although we've lost some very important things, chief among them being hundreds of loved ones, I'd rather talk about what we still have.

We might have to take our shoes off at the airport, but many of us still have the wherewithal and the means to travel anywhere in the world. We have the freedom to worship who, where, and when we want...or not at all. We are able to speak out against our government without fear of reprisals. We have the freedom to gather together and protest policies, and our voice is heard. We can contact our government officials and let them know our opinions (hopefully in a respectful way). We have unlimited access to information with little to no censorship. Although it's getting more difficult, we still have a pathway to a good education for ourselves or for our kids. We can learn about cultures around the world, rather than not be allowed to because they might corrupt our thinking. As a woman, I can go to school, work, drive a car, and have an opinion (which I sometimes do). We can go about our daily business without the constant fear of being shot or raped or kidnapped. If we choose, we can make a difference by casting our ballots in elections (and why on earth would anyone not exercise that right?).

I could go on, but you get the idea. Although I always feel sad today, and remember the horror of that day when I see the pictures and videos, I also feel defiant. They may have knocked us for a loop for a few days, and made us change the way we do certain things, but we still have all the freedoms that they can only dream of. They have not broken us...they have not even bowed us. We also have a duty to not let them change who we are as a nation, change what made us great. We had a few bad years there in which we lost our way (We do not torture. Period.), but I believe we're back on the right track. We cannot compromise our integrity because of the mistaken belief that we need to resort to their tactics. We do not, and we must not.

We're still here, and we're still kickin'. We, like the Dude, abide. Fuck yeah, America! (By the way, that picture is more than a little tongue-in-cheek!)

Just to show that life does go on....

I paid a trip to my little Victory Garden yesterday and hauled in a few things. I was a little startled when I saw this mutant alien zucchini hiding under a leaf. What a monster! I know you're supposed to pick them smaller than this, but even when they get this big, they're great for making stuffed zucchini or zucchini bread. I don't know if you can tell from the picture, but it's as long as my forearm and hand, and bigger around. I've got another one growing out there, as well as a couple of yellow zucchini. I think there should be enough nice weather yet that they'll get bigger.

I also picked the serrano peppers. Holy capsaicin, Batman, what a haul! I planted four plants, and there have to be at least three dozen peppers here. My tomatoes may have crapped out (again, dammit...stupid Verticillium Wilt), but there is no pepper problem! I think I can probably chop some up and freeze them to use in the next few weeks. I'm pretty sure I've grown serranos before. I got those plants because they didn't have any jalapenos. Serranos are supposed to be hotter than jalapenos, but I don't recall them being that much hotter. I'll be brave and taste one, just so I have an idea of how hot they are. I think they'll be good in chili.

I hadn't made any earrings for a while, and I had some findings that I was looking forward to using. I think these are my favorites that I've made so far. I used black and blue beads (maybe I can call this style Punch in the Face earrings), and I think they're nicely dangly. I wear a lot of black clothes, with a fair amount of blue, so I think these will go nicely with many of my things. I might have to work on another pair today, because I'm so pleased with how these turned out. I like dangly earrings. I don't know why, but I've always liked big earrings.

At long last, I got my Sharpie Liquid Pencils! As many of you already know, I'm kind of an office supply whore. I inherited it from my Dad, who had a cabinet full of pads of paper, pens, pencils, and other such things. As hard as it was to clean some of that stuff out--my Mom will never use all of it--I had to grin knowing that I am so very like him in that regard! Anyway, as soon as I saw that Sharpie was coming out with a liquid graphite pencil, I had to have one. I'm more of a pen person than a pencil person, but it seemed to me that a pencil that eventually becomes permanent would be a pretty nifty thing. I was a little sad to see the initial bad reviews, but was still excited to try it out for myself.

I got a sketch pad out, because I figured that would give the best results of how a liquid pencil would behave.

My high hopes were quickly dashed upon the rocks of harsh reality. The reviews I'd read were right: it wrote like a pen running out of ink, with skips and faint lines. Perhaps as I use it more, it will flow better, and maybe I need to exert more pressure. But after years of working in the lab and being on the verge of carpal tunnel syndrome because of it (my wrists and grip are finally getting back to normal), I don't want to have to exert a lot of pressure when I write. The less the better, which is why I love my Jimnie gel pens. The words flow easily and smoothly, with a minimum of pressure.

I am so disappointed with my Sharpie Liquid Pencils, but there is no time for despair, since today is the day that Notre Dame plays Michigan here at home! I'm happy to be watching from home today, as it's a cool and damp day (although I think the rain might be out of here). This is a huge interstate rivalry, since we're just a few miles from the Michigan border, and this is always a big game. It's considered to be mostly a tossup, but with the home field advantage, I think the Irish will prevail. GO IRISH!

Which seeds will you sow?

Another great day outside! A little warmer than yesterday, and it felt great. As promised, here are a few garden pictures.

This is the bed where I planted tomatoes and peppers. I could cram a lot more in there, but I only bought eight of each. They didn't have jalapeno plants, if you can believe that, so I got four serrano and four sweet banana peppers. I'll start seeds next year, and do some bell pepper varieties. Ken doesn't like them, but I'll happily eat them all!

On the right is the bed where I planted pole beans (foreground), yellow and green zucchini (in the middle), and cucumbers (at the far end). Do you like the trellises I made? I'll need to get some more bamboo stakes so I can make more next year. Notice the fence around the garden--I call it Stalag 13. It's eight feet high, with two feet underground. If we didn't have an eight foot high fence, the deer would be able to jump it. We still get voles burrowing underneath, but it seems to keep out the larger critters. Except for one occasion when I ambled out to the garden, tra-la tra-la, opened the gate, and saw one very fat Groundy freeze and look at me, then run frantically back and forth along the fence until he found a way out. I said, "How did you get in here?!" (He didn't answer.) We put some additional fencing along the bottom after that--he must have squeezed his fat self through one of the larger openings in the wire. Oh, and a turkey flew in there once, but was able to fly out eventually. The greater danger is slugs (ugh) or the Dreaded Verticillium Wilt. I loved getting out and planting today! It made me feel really ambitious for next year. There are four other beds like the two pictured here, so we've got plenty of room to put in a veritable cornucopia of goodies!

We have a baby plum! In fact, we have two. We planted three fruit trees a couple of years ago, and we were excited to see a couple of plums on one of them. We haven't sprayed or anything, so I don't know if we'll be able to harvest our incredible bounty (one for Ken, one for me) this year. I'll have to get a picture of the apple tree out front (which we also don't spray, although we might change that next year), where the bees have obviously been very busy. It is bursting with apples, and the deer will be quite happy this fall!

Warning: Serious talk ahead

My buddy Milwaukee Dan #1 posted a New York Times op-ed piece by Frank Rich on Facebook yesterday, and the piece perfectly articulated my recent unease with some of the things I've been reading and hearing, and my dismay at the shooting deaths around the country lately. Another buddy, Bob, wrote a great entry about the piece, and I encourage you to read both.

Everyone is entitled to their opinion, and entitled to voice that opinion. That should not and cannot be denied to any one of us. I'm afraid we've crossed a line, though. The line between civil disagreement and flat-out hatred. We all have the right to speak out and disagree with anyone, but we do not have the right to incite a riot. The impression I'm getting lately from bloviators like Limbaugh or Beck or O'Reilly is that they would be quite pleased to see harm come to President Obama. No, they do not come out and say "This guy needs to be killed," but their failure to tell their faithful legion to take it down a notch constitutes as implicit approval for whatever anyone might take upon themselves to do. There are unstable people out there, like the shooter at the Holocaust Museum, and the vitriol that spews from talking heads only fuels their instability and internal fire...and sometimes they explode.

Just this weekend, a Republican activist in South Carolina posted a "funny" little thing on his Facebook page about a gorilla who escaped from a zoo: "I'm sure it's just one of Michelle's ancestors--probably harmless." How is that funny? Not only is it offensive and racist, it's idiotic, because he obviously doesn't understand how evolution works. (Here's a clue, douchebag: it's not a direct line of descent. It's a matter of a common ancestor, with a genetic shift among populations. Of course, he probably doesn't believe in evolution, so I'm wasting my time.)

I'm sure there were plenty of extreme left-wing talking heads calling for Bush's head, but I honestly don't remember it being anywhere as bad as this. The op-ed piece mentioned the angry cries at McCain/Palin rallies last year, and I'm glad, because that is what the latest hatefulness reminds me of. People yelling "Terrorist! Traitor!" when Obama was mentioned...and several times, "Kill him!" I was appalled at the time and said that it needed to stop. At one memorable meeting, Senator McCain stepped up and actually defended Obama, correcting an audience member in her criticisms of Obama the "Arab." Who has the courage to speak up now and say that this has to stop? There are a few (the piece mentions Shepard Smith), but why isn't the majority of reasonable people crying for a halt to such venomous talk?

I have great faith in the ability of our Secret Service to protect our President and his family. But they shouldn't have to work quite this hard. Look at it this way: the guard at the Holocaust Museum was killed in the performance of his duties. He was protecting the people in the museum, and he died because he took that very seriously. When a nutjob who hated Jews came into the museum, this brave guard stepped up to stop him and died because he did so. That is one man. There are hundreds of Secret Service agents who are willing to give their lives to protect the President. Do the would-be killers of the President care about collateral damage? I doubt it. Why egg them on?

So why do talk show hosts and writers continue to up the level of hatred? Do they not understand that there are people out there who are at the tipping point? Even silence can be inferred as encouragement for some of these unstable people. I continue to read things in Blogtropolis that astonish me in their intense hatred of Obama. I'm still reading bullshit about how his birth certificate is false (the shooter at the Holocaust Museum was a birfer, in fact), the continued mishmash of ideologies (Is he a socialist? a fascist? an Arab? a Muslim? What?), and even worse bullshit that speculates that he's the Antichrist. For God's sake, people, get a grip. If you don't like his policies or politics, fine. Vote against him in the next election, and maybe you'll be a part of voting him out of a second term. That's how we do it here!

But please, please stop this insane, irrational hatred of the man and/or his wife. You can make your voice heard in local, state, and national elections. You can write to your legislators. You can even write your opinion on your blog. (But be logical, 'kay? "I don't like him cuz he's stoopid" is not a valid argument.) Since when did violence and an armed revolution become a viable alternative to rational discourse and casting your vote at your polling place? Does anyone really want to see rioting here like we're seeing in Iran right now? Political activism does not and should not mean the endorsement of violence, hatred, or killing, and sometimes an endorsement doesn't have to be spoken. Actions usually speak louder than words. Effecting civic change does not have to come by way of the loss of civility. Sowing the seeds of hatred by your words and deeds will only result in further discord and hate, and more violence and bloodshed.

I ask again: Which seeds will you sow?

The day…I’m lovin’ it!

Good evening, Citizens!

I hope you've all had as lovely a day as we've had here at Nutwood. Before I get to that....

For those of you that don't do the Facebook thing, I posted a brief update there about the latest with FM (family member). We talked yesterday, and I'm happy to report that she sounds like she's doing really well. She's already talked to a lawyer, and papers will probably be served this week. She said that in some ways, she almost feels a sense of relief...I said, "That should tell you a lot," and she agreed. Here's the real kicker. Remember the conversation I reported, in which the cheating husband told me that as far as he was concerned, I wasn't welcome in their house? And then brought up my ex-husband of 20 years? FM was talking to the CH, and he told her, "I've decided to forgive your parents and your [family member]."

HA! Boy howdy, did I ever get a laugh out of that! I said, "Oh really? How generous of him!" FM said, "I knew you'd get a kick out of that." What unbelievable arrogance, to cop the attitude that HE is the one who has been wronged, that FM's parents were the bad guys or that little ol' me had done him wrong and was mean to him. It never ceases to amaze me to see someone who has so obviously done something very wrong, and who is 100% busted, try to twist things around and blame others or pretend to be the one hurt and the one wronged. That's a special kind of asshattery right there, and there must be some sort of pathology going on, too. Compulsive lying? Narcissism? I'm not sure, but it is definitely NOT COOL.

And guess what? I've decided not to forgive him. How does that grab ya, Mister Man? (I think my guilty pleasure movie tonight might have to be "Misery." Always a fun one!)

That was yesterday. Today was very enjoyable and we got quite a bit done! We did sleep quite late, because I was up until 4:45, and Ken said he wasn't able to get tired and was up until 8:30. Ouch! We got out in the afternoon and Ken built another garden bed frame while I cut holes in the plastic for the plants, and built trellises for the beans and cucumbers. It was a little on the humid side, but it felt so good just to be out there, work up a sweat, and enjoy the day! After Ken left for work (too soon, darn it), I spent some time out on the deck reading, and then started figuring out what clothes to take on our Detroit trip this week. I'll get back out to the garden tomorrow and get things planted. (I’ll get pictures tomorrow.) With as warm as the soil is, and the warm weather we're supposed to have this week, things should start popping quickly.

It was so quiet as I was sitting out reading. I listened to the birds, and once in a while I'd hear a rustle, which was Chip or Dale scurrying through the leaves. I watched him for a while, and later, I saw a bunny. I think everyone was happy to be out and about today, and I look forward to a repeat tomorrow!

Serendipity

I'm a little behind the curve when it comes to our garden, due to timing issues. I usually try to plant by the end of May, but that's when we were working on getting Ken's mom moved, then we had to get the beds built and the plastic down...anyhoo, we've got two beds ready, and while Ken was sleeping today, I went out and bought tomato and pepper plants, along with zucchini (green and yellow--I'm craving stuffed zucchini), pole bean, and cucumber seeds. Then it rained most of the afternoon. Tomorrow is supposed to be nicer, and I can get out and plant. I hope the tomatoes will be okay...they looked pretty rough, the downside of buying this late in the season. I think once I get them in the ground, they'll do fine. (Next year, I’ll start seeds again. Those were definitely the best pepper plants I’ve ever had, and most of the tomatoes also did well.) I missed having a garden last year, so I'm looking forward to getting at least a few of my favorites planted! It put me in a good mood just to be at our local gardening center (I love Lowe's, but I really like going to the smaller, locally owned places for vegetable plants...just supporting our local growers!), and to choose my plants. I chatted with a lady who was also looking at the tomato plants, so I'm not the only one a little behind. She came up to me later and said she'd found a spot where they had other tomato plants that looked really healthy, but did I know what the "Amish P" variety was? I didn't at first, but then I remembered seeing the variety from gardening catalogs--I think it's Amish Paste, which is a cooking tomato (used to make sauces, etc.).

Man, I love Garden Talk! If anyone would like to discuss Verticillium Wilt, please email me. I have a problem with VW in the garden, and I'm hoping that putting down some composted manure this year will help. My poor tomatoes...they grow like crazy, produce a bunch of tomatoes...then the dreaded Wilt sets in, and they succumb. It's very sad to see a young, healthy tomato plant cut down in the prime of its life. *sniff* And don't get me started on tomato worms...grrrr and YUCK!

On another subject, isn't it great when you can turn a negative into a positive? That has happened to us recently, when we regained contact and renewed a friendship with someone from our past. We had a mutual bad "experience," shall we say, and in reconnecting, we found that the three of us were able to commiserate and maybe even help each other a bit with information and just being able to say, "I know exactly what you're talking about." If nothing else, it's certainly been entertaining to exchange "war stories!" Happily, it is more than just that, and we have many common interests besides the bad "experience." If you get a chance, pop over and visit our friend Simon. He's a wonderful writer and a fantastic photographer, and I'm happy that we have renewed our acquaintance, and have found something positive in what began as a mutually negative association!

I'm not a subscriber to the "everything happens for a reason" line of thinking. I think life is much more random than that. I think it's more a matter of consciously choosing to make something of nothing, to find that silver lining, to find the good or the potential for good in a situation. Sometimes you have to look really hard, but it's usually there, even if it is infinitesimal and needs a little nurturing to make it grow. (Pretty good callback to the garden, if I do say so myself!) I find that serendipity is often the result of our own actions at an opportune moment, rather than mere dumb luck. I don't want to be the person who goes through life waiting for things to happen to them, rather than making things happen. Even worse is the person who believes that they have no control over their own destiny, that every wrong that has happened in their lives is the result of others' actions...that they bear no blame or responsibility for the path that they have chosen. The Eternal Victim...everyone is out to get me, it's never my fault, I am an innocent lamb who has been attacked and cheated by others! Bleahhh. I find that sort of attitude as repulsive as those nasty tomato worms, bloated and fat and green (usually with envy).

Much better to exert control over your own life and say, "Even if I have to deal with bad things--random things--it's my decision as to how I'll react, and my choice as to whether I will make the most of a bad situation." It's been my experience that those who are the most controlling and micro-managing are those who actually feel in the least control of themselves, their emotions, and their actions, and feel the most insecure and inadequate. Maybe it's a matter of thinking that being ultra-controlling with those around you will compensate for what is lacking in other areas of your life and in your self-esteem. Instead, it just makes you another victim--in this case, of your own inadequacies. How boring.

I suppose that's enough philosophical/psychological pondering for the day. I'd hate to make my brain hurt.