Out to lunch

Today I picked up my mother-in-law, and we headed out on some errands and lunch. After she got her hair cut, oh look! Hacienda is right next door! (Actually, that was the plan all along.) We stopped in for a bite to eat, and it was fun to chat with her. I was also happy that she got out of the house, as her husband is pretty much on bed rest right now due to a back injury, and I know it did her good to just get out and have a few laughs. And we did have some.

We both had margaritas, and they were tasty as always. The picture shows my kind of margarita—none of that frozen junk for me. Shaken, baby. (Not shaken baby...that is something completely different, and totally unrelated to this conversation.) The specialty margaritas at this place come in a shaker, and it's enough for two small glasses. Two of these is my limit (believe me...three is a bad idea), and I was good today and only had one. As she was pouring the last of hers out of her shaker, she was making sure she got it all, and said, "Good to the last drop!" It just tickled me and made me laugh!

But where she really got me was when we were talking about taking calcium. She can't take tablets, but they sell liquid calcium and she's been using that. She went on to tell me, "Well...we've kind of gotten into a bad habit. I have my shot of calcium in my orange juice late in the morning. We have screwdrivers."

I happened to be taking a bite of my seafood taco salad when she said that, and I had to put my hand over my mouth to keep from spewing salad everywhere. Yeah, she's pretty cool!

We had a nice afternoon, and I anticipate a nice evening. I foresee Rock Band in my future. In the meantime, here's a little tequila for you. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did mine at lunch.

I’ve been a bad, bad blogging girl

My apologies to my blogging friends...I have been a terrible reader and commenter as of late, and I can only chalk it up to the time of year. I'll get back to my rounds soon, I promise. I always struggle a little around this time, as we say goodbye to summer and a reluctant hello to winter. Actually, "hello" is not exactly what I want to say to winter, but I'll skip it...this time. I even missed making an entry yesterday, but the one I wanted to make required a little more thought than I was ready to devote to it, plus I wanted to see the outcome of yesterday's elections. Yeah, it's a political one...shocking, I know. I've got my usual Ken-is-on-a-business trip (a couple of days in Chicago) dinner of Eggplant Parmigiana put together, and can pop it in the oven when I'm ready. I put on the Ting Tings while I puttered in the kitchen ("That's not my name! That's not my name!"), and had fun dancing around and singing. Eggplant is a kind critic. Sheeba is not. He looked at me with wide eyes and started tearing around the house, but that's pretty typical for him, so maybe it wasn't me. :)

So, to the meat of this entry (although I'm going vegetarian tonight). Like many political junkies followers, I was interested to see what would happen with some of these races going on around the country. Many were calling it a referendum on President Obama's Presidency, but I think that's probably a bit of an exaggeration. Basing the success or failure of a Presidency on an off-year election seems a little silly to me. I don't know what the long-term impact of this will have...I suspect very little.

What was more interesting to me was the NY-23 race in which Sarah Palin endorsed the Conservative Party candidate, causing others to jump on the bandwagon and also endorse him. I found that interesting, because from everything I read, Doug Hoffman had little knowledge of or interest in that district. It seemed to me to be a typical kneejerk reaction to buzzwords, without bothering to do a little digging. Again, shocking! Palin's endorsement was apparently and inexplicably influential, causing the moderate Republican candidate, Dede Scozzafava, to drop out of the race. Limbocontin and others were quick to join in condemning the moderate Republican (Scozzafava didn't toe the party line with social issues), and that bloated gasbag went so far as to make a joke about her "bestiality" in dealing with RINOs (Republicans In Name Only). I thought that was pretty offensive, but that is nothing unusual coming from him.

The choice for voters then was the Conservative Hoffman and the Democrat Bill Owens, and they chose Bill Owens, giving the district a Democratic Congressman for the first time in more than a century.

This is fascinating to me, because I have to wonder if we are witnessing the death of the Republican Party as we know it, or possibly the ascension of a third, the Conservative Party. My personal opinion is yes to the former and no to the latter. Is this the Nader Effect writ large?

I don't believe that the GOP is really going to die off in my lifetime, but I believe its days are numbered if they continue with this platform. With people like Palin and Limbaugh unable to recognize that we aren't living in 50's-era America any longer--it wasn't all that great for anyone but middle class white males, anyway--and unwilling to broaden their tent to be more inclusive, I don't believe they can survive for long in an increasingly diverse America. Hey, like REO Speedwagon said, roll with the changes or shut the fuck up. (Well, they didn't actually say that last part.) There are all kinds of people in this country and world, and their exclusionary tactics are offensive to me. Right here at Nutwood, they have lost 100% of the residents' support, and although I remain fiscally conservative in many ways, I also believe that we are not helping our fellow citizens as much as we can, and I will never accept such a narrow view of social issues. They have lost me for good. And if they keep calling, they're going to get an earful pretty soon.

As for the Conservative Party, I think they overestimate their influence. Well, I suppose in the NY-23 race, their influence was fairly substantial...causing the Democrat candidate to win. If Scozzafava had stayed in the race, she may well have beat him, and the Republicans would have another Representative. But nope. So I guess in this case, I can say, "Thanks for the help, Palin!" Overall, though, the teabaggers are pretty much a tempest in a teapot. Glenn Beck may have up to 3 million viewers on any given night, but that's really not a whole lot in a nation with a population of 308,000,000. [whipping out her handy dandy Google calculator] Thank you, Google...I see that equates to less than one hundredth of one percent. I'm reasonably certain that the majority of people find him an imbecilic fucktard who is a complete and utter loon. Oh, and I also see that as of Tuesday afternoon, drooling idiot Michele Bachmann's call to arms to verbally assault legislators in the halls of Congress has garnered an impressive 25 participants.

As you can imagine, I find all of this extremely fascinating, watching the dynamics of these things play out. The hysteria of the Becks, Bachmanns, et al, is entertaining from a psychological perspective. It makes me feel a little like Alice in Wonderland at times, but at least in Wonderland that caterpillar had a hookah to share. Here, I just stare open-jawed at the TV as I hear the latest lunacy from these people, wonder if they've encountered that hookah-smoking caterpillar themselves, and then burst into laughter. If nothing else, it's sure good for a laugh!

Terrifying!

Last night there wasn't much on TV, so we decided to watch a movie. Ken pulled out three possibilities from which I was to choose, and since it was Halloween weekend, I thought a scary movie was in order. I chose one called "Haunting," also known as "A Haunting in Connecticut." Looked like a classic scary movie, allegedly based upon a true story, of a family moving into a house that just isn't quite right. The usual hi-jinx occur, cold pockets of air, mysterious voices, ghosts appearing in the little girl's bedroom, demonic possession, priests, an exorcism...good, scary stuff, right?

Well, it was good, all right, but I'm sure not in the way they were intending. I laughed my ass off (but quickly reattached it). Apparently, this originally appeared on the Discovery Channel as a documentary, and the entire movie was narrated in that style. As if that weren't annoying enough, they often talked to the participants so that their faces were in shadow; all of the action took place in a "this is a reenactment" manner, complete with bad acting and ridiculous dialogue. And I have a question. If these people were from the East coast, why did the women all have southern accents worthy of a Springer guest discussing how she isn't sure which of her boyfriends knocked her up?

A quick synopsis, and I'm not even going to warn of spoilers, because if you waste your time on this movie, you deserve to have it spoiled! Teenage boy has leukemia, has to have special treatments out of state in Connecticut. It's breaking the family's back financially, so they decide to move there to save the cost of commuting daily. Mom makes a trip out there, finds a big ol' house for amazingly reasonable rent (has she never seen a freakin' horror movie?!), family moves, shit starts happening. The sick kid and his little brother sleep in the basement, and Mom and Dad find an adjacent room that Mom didn't see when she first looked at the house. What is all this strange equipment? Why is there a steel gurney in the middle of the room? Why is there a freezer here? Why is this tubing coiled in the middle of the floor, and why does it look...stained? And oh...is that a bone saw?

That's right, this beautiful old house used to be a funeral home, and the boys are sleeping next to the embalming room. They soon start seeing movement through the glass doors to the embalming room, and the sick kid starts hearing someone whispering his name. The little girl is playing in her room and looks up to see a creepy female ghost. Mom (who seems to be a bit of a sadist) points out that there is no one there, and the little girl needs to shut her pie hole. Mom is mopping the kitchen floor...and is shocked and horrified when the water turns to blood, and she just keeps right on mopping it around. Yeah, they're living in a haunted funeral home, but the rent is so cheap!

Ohhh, let's see, then some other stuff happens...sick kid gets possessed by some goateed demon wearing full black contact lenses, sick kid's personality changes (evidenced by him sitting in his basement room listening to that evil rock music with *gasp* electric guitar, and starting to wear all black clothes—I kid you not), sick kid tries to get freaky with his girl cousin, sick kid gets hauled off to the loony bin, warning his family that "Now it will come after you." It does. Mom gets knocked on her back by goateed demon and her neck starts to swell. (What exactly was that demon doing to her, anyway?) A priest is consulted, determines that the place is lousy with demon infestation, an exorcism is authorized. Holy water is flung, words are said, demon picks up girl cousin and slams her against the wall (I think demon has some rage issues against women), demon flees, sick kid gets out of the loony bin and is no longer loony (or infested with a demon), family moves out.

Maybe it was the half a bottle of Chardonnay I consumed during dinner and this movie, but I was cracking up. This has got to be one of the worst movies I have ever seen, right up there with the likes of "Plan 9 From Outer Space," "Howard the Duck," and that crappy meteor flick with Ben Affleck and Bruce Willis. I think they really intended this to be creepy and spooky, but I couldn't stop laughing. Would I watch it again? Only if some of you cool kids come over and watch it with me while we give it the full Mystery Science Theater treatment. It was so deliciously bad that I want to share it with others and spread the misery around a little bit. It would be a hell of a lot of fun to MST-ify it with some of you.

::sigh:: Have I become too jaded in my horror movie life experience? Is a haunting old hat? Are demons outdated? Do exorcisms induce ennui? I don't think so; I still can't watch "The Exorcist" by myself. But movies like "Haunting" are so non-scary that they're humorous. If some of you want to come over and enjoy make fun of it with me, I'll make munchies and get a keg. C'mon over. We'll have some laughs. It'll be fun.

How do I love thee, Football?

First things first: Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit! Evil spirits begone from Nutwood! Especially important after yesterday's Satanic revelries, and all those demons in our back yard going at it like...well, rabbits. They sound kind of like cats. Quite disturbing.

Fantastic outcome to the Notre Dame-Washington State game yesterday, with the Irish finally winning handily, 40-14, and saving me another coronary. (Thanks, guys.) The play of the game for me was in the closing seconds of the first half, when Jimmy Clausen threw to Golden Tate in the end zone. Golden had double coverage on him for most of the game, but this time...he had triple coverage. He leaped into the air to make the catch and hung on to get the touchdown. If I recall correctly, I believe my reaction was "OH MY GOD did he just fucking catch that ball?!" Or something to that effect.

Today was the Colts and San Francisco, and although the Colts started off slow and looked flat the entire game, they pulled out the win 18-14 and are one of two teams left in the league with a perfect record (New Orleans is the other one). I know all too well that going unbeaten for a while does not mean you are invincible, but it's still fun to see your team get a winning streak going. Also great to see one of my favorite Colts, Bob Sanders, playing after his injury. He's not a real big guy, but man, he's fierce! The Bears also won, so it's been a good football weekend. Not for everyone, though. My pal Darren's--you know, the cereal killer, haha--Winnipeg team lost. I'm sorry you didn't get a win, too, buddy!

It's on days like this when my heart is filled with love for football. Watching that Golden Tate catch--and I have, several times--gives me incredible joy. If you watch that video, you'll see Clausen gesture for Golden to "c'mere!" and give him a big grin and a hug. When I saw that happen in real time, I was like "Awww!" and got more than a little choked up. I suppose it's silly to get choked up over something like that, but seeing their smiles and such an incredible play just makes me so very happy.

Of course, it can go the other way. When my team loses, I'll spend a few hours in a blue funk. And I've actually gotten better over the years, if you can believe that. When I lived in Indianapolis and was so into the Pacers, my friends and family knew better than to call me after a loss, or even worse, during a game. A friend from Montana called me once during a playoff game, and I said, "Lisa, I can't talk. Watching the game." She laughed. I said, "I'm not kidding. I'll call you back afterwards." This seems natural to me, but then you're talking to someone from a family who gets pissed off if someone plans a wedding or something during a Notre Dame game (and some people have been known to use headphones during such an event).

For anyone who isn't a sports fan, it's hard to explain. But a love of sports is truly the international language. There is something communal in the mutual joy we experience in our love of the game.

Sorry about the long video, but here's one from one of my favorite bands, The Tubes, and my favorite album of theirs, "The Completion Backward Principle." The target song begins around the five-minute mark. Warning: Some of you may be familiar with the Tubes and will know that they are not G-rated. You get the full monty from Fee Waybill in this one!

Gimme a B! Gimme another B!

We all go a little mad sometimes

We spent a nice afternoon with my folks today. They took us out to eat at their favorite Chinese buffet, although I'm afraid I didn't eat my money's worth. I was feeling a little oogy this morning, and I joked about piling some Chinese food on top of it. It really was a bad idea, which should have been obvious to me. When I can only eat two crab rangoons, you know I'm off my feed. Feeling better now. Who knew that beer has soothing properties to the stomach? Better than Pepto.

Then we got to see their new house, which is in a place where most of the yard maintenance and all of the snow removal is taken care of by the grounds crew. It was really nice, and I think they'll enjoy it. I know they hate leaving their log house on 16 acres, but it's getting too much for them to care for, and I think we're all happy that they're moving into town rather than staying out in the boonies. I don't think they'll be moving until the log house sells, though, so I hope they can get through this winter okay.

Now we're watching Illinois put the hurt on Michigan (sorry, Miss A!) and waiting for the Notre Dame-Washington State game in about a half an hour. Go Irish!

~~~~~

Happy Halloweenie, everyone! I trust that you have your list of orgies parties ready, and that you have been working on your mad incantation skillz. This is your time to let your dark light shine, so step to, people, step to! Those babies aren't going to sacrifice themselves, you know!

In honor of this special day, I'm putting a horror movie clip up here. Those of you who have been reading me for a while know that I do love my horror movies, and I thought I'd pay tribute to my favorite of all, "Psycho." ("The Texas Chainsaw Massacre" is the godfather of the modern slasher movie, but "Psycho" still rules my roost as favorite.) I know it's nothing new, and everyone has probably seen this movie several times. But for me, it's still the ultimate subtle creep factor movie. Anthony Perkins, may he rest in peace, was the perfect Norman Bates: shy, bumbling, but sort of sweet and charming...too bad he had some mommy issues. The final scene of him sitting in his jail cell, that look on his face, still sends a chill down my spine, as does his exclamation when he finds Marian's body. "Mother! Oh God, Mother! Blood! Blood!" (And of course, the quote that I used for the title of this entry.)

Although tame by today's standards, I still feel that Hitchcock's subtlety provides the perfect psychological chill, and it's a movie that I can watch over and over. Bernard Herrmann's soundtrack is iconic, as is the infamous shower scene. Her final thud onto the floor of the bathroom, her face planted on the tile and her dead eye looking into the camera...man, that is some good stuff. Well, you know what I mean. I don't want to sound like a total...psycho...here. It's just a great movie, masterfully done. It still gives me a lovely little frisson every time I watch it.

What do you do on a gloomy, rainy day?

Well, if you're me, first you run errands and get soaked while running from the store to the car. Jeez, by the time I got into the car, it was dripping off my hair and my glasses were completely obscured. Oddly enough, by the time I got home, it was only sprinkling. Grrr. Ain't that always the way?

Then in the afternoon, if you're me, you play on Crackbook way too long (if it's so much fun, I don't know how it can be bad), and then you play some Rock Band. Yeah, baby!

In fact, this is me playing Rock Band. Well, okay, it's how I imagine I look playing Rock Band, because Chrissie is one cool rock chick. ("Brass In Pocket" would be a fun song to have on there.) If I were a rock chick for real, I think I would be Chrissie Hynde more than anyone else. She's got attitude, and I've been told that I do, too. Huh? Go figure. I haven't played with Rock Band for a while, so it was fun to try some of the songs on the original game, and to try guitar. I'm starting to get the hang of it, figured out that I need to have it slung a little lower on my hips, and now realize that I would be a better bass player than a guitarist, because it's a more natural motion for me to pull up instead of stroke down. Hahaha. I'm cracking up right now. So I tried some of the easier songs, like "Should I Stay Or Should I Go?", "Roxanne," and "Say It Ain't So" by Weezer. I even hit the whammy, baby! After Ken got home, he played drums while I played guitar, then he took over guitar and I did vocals.

"Mississippi Queen" was a lot of fun, although I'm not a huge fan of that song. I am proud to say that I did excellent on "Wanted Dead Or Alive" (much better on vocals than guitar), and when I sang the lines "I've seen a million faces...and I've rocked them all," I really got into it! Ha! Oh man, this is so much fun! This is a way for the talentless to actually feel like they have some. Talk about an ego stroker. I still need to get a scarf to tie onto the microphone.

It also reinforces my respect and appreciation for real musicians...you know, the ones who don't play musicians on TV. My friends Jim, Deb, and Darren, and Indigo's Paul, are all very talented (I hope I'm not leaving anyone out), and I am always in awe of someone who can play so incredibly. I've got fumbling fingers with freakin' Rock Band...how much harder is it to do it for real? So I'll keep playing, and you guys keep doing it for real. It's your talent that makes real music, and I'm just along for the ride. You make my dreams come true!

Here is one of my favorite Pretenders songs, "Message of Love." Hard to believe that 50% of the people in this video are dead: Pete Farndon (bassist) and James Honeyman-Scott (guitarist). But Chrissie is still going strong.

Oooo, very scary!

On Facebook today, via a group I joined (Separation of Church and State) and Milwaukee Dan #2, I saw a story about an article written on the CBN network website. Still with me?

It concerned the evils of Halloween, and it tickled me to no end. I don't know who the author, Kimberly Daniels, is or what credentials she has, but damn, this was funny. A few choice snippets....

It [Halloween] is dedicated to darkness and is an accursed season. During Halloween, time-released curses are always loosed. A time-released curse is a period that has been set aside to release demonic activity and to ensnare souls in great measure.

Time-released curses? Who knew that Satan is a pharmacist? I sure didn't. And a time-released curse is a period? Yeah, I’ve encountered some periods that were full of demonic activity and ensnared souls. Just sayin’.

During this period demons are assigned against those who participate in the rituals and festivities. These demons are automatically drawn to the fetishes that open doors for them to come into the lives of human beings. For example, most of the candy sold during this season has been dedicated and prayed over by witches.

Here we learn that being a demon is not all fun and games. It sounds like serious business to me, with specific assignments and people to torment and possess. I hope they're unionized, because I see the potential for abuse at the hands of the Dark Overlord. The last thing you want when you're a demon trying to put human organs on the table for your demon woman and little demon babies is low wages for tough work. Where is Demon Norma Rae when you need her?

We also learn that Halloween candy has been prayed over by witches. I hope they're unionized, too, because they've gotta be working their scrawny green asses off this time of year. I don't know if you've noticed, but there's a lot of Halloween candy in the stores right now, and that's a hell of a lot--oops, a pun!--of prayin' to do.

I do not buy candy during the Halloween season. Curses are sent through the tricks and treats of the innocent whether they get it by going door to door or by purchasing it from the local grocery store. The demons cannot tell the difference.

Yes, again that terrible, witch-tainted candy. Be careful, because your bag of Hershey's Miniatures may already be infested! In fact, as soon as you brought it into your house, I bet the demons descended upon it like flies on that bloated raccoon carcass I keep seeing on the road. This is nothing to mess around with, and if you pass out those Hershey's Miniatures, you are infesting your entire neighborhood with demons! There is nothing you can do except eat that entire bag yourself. It is the right thing to do. Save the children; eat the chocolate. You can have those demons cast out tomorrow, when you're dealing with the shame and guilt of eating an entire fucking bag of chocolate.

Mother earth is highly celebrated during the fall demonic harvest. Witches praise mother earth by bringing her fruits, nuts and herbs. Demons are loosed during these acts of worship. When nice church folk lay out their pumpkins on the church lawn, fill their baskets with nuts and herbs, and fire up their bonfires, the demons get busy.

That's right folks, when you put pumpkins in your yard, demons get busy! They're treating your yard like the pick-up bar that you used to frequent when you were in your twenties. Those boy demons are buying girl demons drinks and trying desperately to get them drunk enough to put out, then they're gettin' busy right there in your pumpkin-laden yard! And don't even get me started on bonfires. Everyone knows that bonfires are a taste of the Fires of Hell™, and that S'mores contain more of that demon-infested chocolate.

Halloween is much more than a holiday filled with fun and tricks or treats. It is a time for the gathering of evil that masquerades behind the fictitious characters of Dracula, werewolves, mummies and witches on brooms. The truth is that these demons that have been presented as scary cartoons actually exist. I have prayed for witches who are addicted to drinking blood and howling at the moon.

What about zombies and aliens? Those are pretty important in the realm of monsters, and I have to wonder if they're okay since they weren't mentioned in the article. Are they not as bad as the other monsters mentioned? I'm not so sure...brain eating and anal probes sound pretty serious to me. Hey, I bet that's what those demons gettin' busy in your front yard are doing even as we speak!

The author was kind enough to include a list of "secret, wicked, cruel activities that go on behind the scenes."

• Sex with demons
• Orgies between animals and humans
• Animal and human sacrifices
• Sacrificing babies to shed innocent blood
• Rape and molestation of adults, children and babies
• Revel nights
• Conjuring of demons and casting of spells
• Release of "time-released" curses against the innocent and the ignorant

If you find yourself engaging in any of the above acts, you may want to consider that you have a problem, and may very well be infested by demons. (That's what happens when you have sex with them.) Reject Halloween! Reject it! If any little demon-infested kiddies squirm their way up to your front door, yank the door open and shout, "Get off my lawn, Satan's spawn!" Not only will they be impressed by your poetic skills, they will scatter like the evil, brimstone-infused vermin they are. That'll show 'em.

~~~~~

Note: The title of today's entry comes from SCTV's Count Floyd. He was always verrrry scarrrrry!