I feel dirty

Before I call the HazMat team to scrub me down, I thought I would post about my harrowing experience this afternoon.

Some of my more liberal-leaning friends and I were having a discussion on Facebook about Sarah Palin's Facebook page. That is where she first floated her lie about "death panels." She rarely posts on it, but plenty of "fans" do, and it makes for some pretty entertaining reading. I toyed with the idea of joining so I could leave comments. My friend Tim said that he wasn't going to do so because he hates it when right wingers invade liberal blogs, and he was just going to leave them to it. Another friend (I won't mention his name so he can remain incognito) thinks he might join so he can leave a pointed, subtle comment here and there. He was most worried about having "So-and-so just became a fan of Sarah Palin" showing up on his page. I don't blame you, buddy, that's the main reason I can't bring myself to join! I think he can delete that line when it shows up, though, so he should be okay. Perhaps we can collaborate in a covert ops mission, and I can report here on any responses he receives. I will leave that up to him, but he will remain anonymous.

Anyhoo, I took a couple of Valium (not really, but I would have if I had any), girded my loins, and spent a while checking it out. I did not go there in the interest of learning anything and I did not go in the belief that anything there would change my mind about Palin. I'm beyond that point; I know it, and you all know it. No, I went purely on a comedy-seeking mission, and I'm happy to say that I was successful. Let me say that I'm sure there are a lot of decent people over there. The vast majority obviously care for this country (although I'm at a loss as to what they think Palin can do for it), and I'm not one to ridicule anyone's religious beliefs (unless they start stepping on my rights to believe what I will). However, there were a few comments that were really...out there...and those are the ones I zeroed in on. Here we go, typos, misspellings, and all....

SARAH I can't to watch you save our country from people that are high on political crack

I give this person points for imagery. "High on political crack" is a dilly of a phrase!

This swine flu is no more dangerous than other flues this is the emergency they will use to bring out marshal law. Keep your eyes open at this time we must distrust media and government there in bed together. Only fox is half way fair. More people died last year from regular flu than did from swine flu.

"Flues" and "marshal" law. Haha! This commenter does get points for partial truth, though. Swine flu is not a highly virulent strain, and mortality is quite low at this point. As with all viruses, the concern is a mutation that will make it much more lethal. Morbidity is quite high--it's highly transmissible and contracted easily--so if it becomes more virulent, then we've got a big problem.

What is wrong with Hawaii, Calif., NY, Mass, NJ???

Reply: Demacrats and Raicals!

Reply: Careful please...you might be surprised at the support for Governor Palian in NY:)

Reply: ..pointing out those BIG liberal states in the union...pretty scary.

Reply: Not everyone in those states are loons :)

Reply: ..well no, but majority are...these are the true typical BLUE states.

Wow, way to generalize about a whole bunch of your fellow Americans. I guess these folks commenting must be from Real America™. As opposed to Faux America. Or I-Can't-Believe-It's-Not-America.

Just saw a little bit of Bob Dole on Cavuto. What a disappointment. "Republicans should compromise on HC. If there 20 or more Republicans voting for it, then the American people would be more willing to accept it."

Reply: was listening to that windbag too. He ruined the lunch I was trying to eat. I thank God that compromiser wasn't elected president in 1996, quite frankly. We need LESS backroom Senate deals to expand the state, and MORE gutting on the federal government!

Reply: The reason we need all the career politicians out on both sides, start over with Sarah at the helm.

Reply: He sounds like another Arlene Spector to meeeeeeeeeee :)

Reply: Bob Dole, go home and be one of the medicare recipients who has to be rationed.

The same Bob Dole who served in WWII and suffered an injury that has been with him all his life, then served his country in the Senate (as a Republican, no less) for many more years? That Bob Dole? What a cowardly slacker, and how dare he even suggest any sort of compromise in order to pass legislation. Disgusting, isn't he? That last comment about Medicare was pretty shitty, though.

Sarah Palin...For a time such as this!

Hey, that's brilliant. Sounds like a campaign slogan to me!

From the same person:

The egg vs. the ham...The chicken is involved, but the pig is committed. Are you more like the chicken or the pig? I put lipstick on a PIG daily...and Proud of it Sarah Palin my friend!

Huh?

Some people (trolls) have said "Please don't try to make any sense of what you read on this website. The writers are very confused." Apparently we are making too much sense, they are still here glued to their screen, hanging on to every word we type...

See above explanation of looking for comedy fodder.

Have you considered asking the Living God to cause confusion among those who are trying to radically change this country. That has been my prayer the last few weeks.

Yes. That's a much better prayer than asking for an end to war, starvation, poverty, and suffering.

Sarah--Are we really going to be able to make a difference????? What is going on with all of the Czars?????? What are they trying to do to Rush and Beck???? I hear the republicans are against Rush too...... Does our vote matter anymore or are they going to do what they want anyway???? Anyone have any answers ..... What about the underground volunteer army and health care.... Who is stepping up here???? Is anyone listening to us or are they going to proceed with anything they want to do????? Really is it worth it???? Does anyone know what is going on here??? I am certainly confused...

You're confused???? I'm not sure I understand???? There's going to be an army underground???? Or do you mean underground health care...or volunteer health care???? I'm so confused, too????

Sarah Palin and Michele Bachmann WOW!!! DAMN WHAT A TICKET THAT WOULD BE

I completely agree with this comment. That would be quite a ticket, and I would be quite happy to see it happen. I'd create a new blog just to write about it.

SARAH PALIN AND RICK SANTORUM IN 2012

Google the guy. Ugh. Although again, that would be worthy of another blog so I could focus on just that.

Governor, why don't you head to Washington DC on the 12th, stand in front of the crowd for one minute and click your heels. That will be enough for the MSM to press the panic bottom. Rats will run in all directions and WH will declare state of emergency.

Just watch out for the Wicked Witch of the West and her Flying Monkeys. That bitch'll cut ya.

Sarah will you end the federal reserve?

Umm...she is now a private citizen. She can't do that anymore than you can. Even as Governor of Alaska, she couldn't do that. This is a very silly question.

From a Reverend:

Yer loved. Not because of your beauty but because of your brain. God bless and keep you. Keep you for US!

Yer comment is a little on the creepy side, Reverend. I don't love it...not just because of its use of "yer" but also because of its dirty-old-man vibe.

Last but not least, one that seems a little misogynistic.

I'm so glad to see a woman who has conservative values serving her state and country as Sarah Palin has done. What a relief not to have my gender falsely represented by some 60-year-old female hippie with matted hair and still wearing maxi skirts in the name of feminism, or the more cleaned up versions like Hillbillary and Pelosi, or the angry, black militant version of Rep. Watson. These women are still stuck in the 1960's and need to progress into the present!

Wait! It's misogynistic...but it's from a woman?! I'm fairly certain that Hillary Clinton and Nancy Pelosi are not "stuck in the 1960's," despite being more "cleaned up" than those matted-haired, maxi-skirted hippies from 40 years ago. This is just weird, and sounds like some cranky woman who just plain doesn't like uppity women.

Whew, that was exhausting. I feel like I need a little break, and maybe even a spelling lesson. Maybe this will help....

D'OH!