The Return of the Grifter

Because I’m a glutton for punishment, I’ve been watching a little coverage of CPAC, the conservative conference going on right now in Maryland. I can’t watch much of it—one can only handle so much negativity and lunacy—but I watched Sarah Palin’s speech earlier today.

You haven’t seen me write much about ol’ Scarah lately, and that has been for a couple of reasons. First of all, I don’t like wasting blog space on her or giving her any attention whatsoever. (That is why I’m not including a picture of her here, even a funny one. So here’s a moose instead.) Secondly, there really hasn’t been much to write about. She has pretty much faded from the scene, even losing her job on ClusterFox. The biggest news about her lately is that “she” is “writing” another book, this one about the nonexistent “war on Christmas.”

But she got invited to CPAC, so I watched and took notes.

The specifics really don’t matter, because there were none. There was the usual stuff about Obama taking our guns away, the cornpone delivery with lots of “ain’ts” thrown in, the hockey mom jokes (is Piper playing hockey now?), gimmicks like pulling a Big Gulp out from under the podium, taking a swig, and making fun of Mayor Bloomberg, a stale TelePrompTer joke, a delivery that almost sounded like baby talk, and of course, plenty of Obama-bashing. She told a joke about Todd getting her a gun rack and him getting a gun: “He got the rifle, I got the rack!” Gross! What woman who wants to be taken seriously tells a joke like that? “Washington has become a reality show,” said the woman who had her own reality show and a daughter who appeared on a reality show and then had HER own reality show. She ridiculed green energy and mentioned the bogus “Obamaphone” claim. At one point, she channeled Joe Wilson and said, “Barack Obama, you lie!” At another point, she compared President Obama to Bernie Madoff.

In other words, she was tossing out chunks of bloody meat to the crowd, and the poor saps were just eating it up. It was pretty disgusting, and I was reminded all over again why I despise Palin. However, I take consolation in knowing that she really is essentially irrelevant now. Idiots will keep contributing to her PAC, and she’ll spend a fraction of it on actual candidates and the rest on “expenditures.” But her time as a political contender has passed. As Ken said, she’ll never run for national office again, because she’s just not smart enough. I’ll add that she also doesn’t want to work that hard. I’ll give credit where credit is due: she knows how to work a crowd. But so do pro wrestlers, and she has about as much legitimacy.

I’m sure that plenty of her supporters will continue to clamor for her to “Run, Sarah, run!” Personally, I would love it if she did. Not only would it be an endless source of amusement, but if by some bizarre chance she ever got the nomination, it would guarantee a Democrat victory. (I actually had someone ask me, “Why do so many liberals want her to run? She’s obviously a conservative.” Yeah...not the sharpest tool in the shed there, are ya, Skippy?) I find it a little sad, though, that so many people continue to love and support her and want her to run...and she just sits back and rakes in their money. She’s never going to run, you sad, sad people. But she’ll be happy to continue taking your cash.

So that was the brief return of the Governor. I suspect we won’t hear much from her going forward, other than a book tour for “her” book. You won’t read anything about her here again, either, unless she generates some genuine news.

Senator McCain, this is your legacy. You will be remembered for several things, some good, some bad, but one of the main things will be that you were the one who foisted this vapid, vindictive, greedy grifter upon the country, and put her within a stone’s throw of the Presidency. It is to our great fortune that you did not succeed, and it will be to your lasting shame that you even tried.