Beth’s Books: The Return of the Grifter

No, that’s not the title of the book. It’s actually Sarah Palin’s latest “book,” Good Tidings and Great Joy: Protecting the Heart of Christmas. I had to put the word ‘book’ in quotation marks, because I’m not sure this crapfest qualifies as a bona fide book.

Full disclosure: I read this book for the sole purpose of trashing it on here. I generally try to ignore the Half-Gov, because she really is irrelevant, but when she told President Obama on her Facebook page to “stop playing the race card,” I thought, “It’s payback time. You called down the thunder...well, you now you got it! I’m comin’, Half-Gov. And Hell’s comin’ with me, you hear? Hell’s comin’ with me!!”

Ahem. Where was I? Oh yes. Payback. Payback for telling our first African-American President to stop playing the race card. On Martin Luther King, Jr. Day, no less. If that doesn’t deserve a little bit of righteous smackdown, I don’t know what does. And I’m just the gal to do it. So let’s get started, shall we? Kick back, because this is going to be a long one.

First of all, I refused to give this grifter one penny. I was trying to find a free download, and finally saw that it was available as an e-book from my wonderful local library. You know, the socialist one where all the liberal elites hang out. I’m sure she got a few gullible people to fork over some dough for this, but I wasn’t one of them.

It’s difficult to convey just how horrid this thing is, but I’ll try.

Drop the adjectives and walk away. Nothing is simple in the Half-Gov’s world (except for the Half-Gov herself). There can’t just be a Christmas tree...it has to be a fragrant Charlie Brown tree with twinkling lights. There isn’t just snow...there is crisp and crunchy snow. People don’t just sing carols, their pure voices soar to the starry heavens with humble joy, their eyes alight with Christmas cheer. These are not actual examples from the book (I’ll get to that later), but this is the kind of “writing” you’ll find there. Adjectives are helpful in small doses, but not every noun has to be accompanied by one. There are several grammatical errors, too, including apostrophe abuse. It makes me laugh that she was a journalism major. Oh, wait...it makes me utter a jolly laugh, my rosy cheeks flushed with good humor, my twinkling eyes flashing in the mellow glow of my trusty laptop. ::eye roll::

Ditch the delusion of the idyllic family and household. There is plenty of stuff about the Half-Gov gathering her brood around and reading the story of Baby Jeebus to them and getting all choked up over it. There’s also plenty of family and friends gathering in the kitchen to bake Christmas treats. I cracked up over this: “Nothing says Christmas like strapping on an apron, heading to the kitchen with friends and family, and cooking and baking yourself into the Christmas spirit.” This “book” would have been more tolerable if I’d baked myself! There are stories of her wonderful childhood and the special Christmases she had. She tells a story about wanting a Walkman one year and getting a dictionary instead. “...my good parents were teaching me a lesson I would remember forever. Words matter.” I about fell over laughing. Should have spent a little more time with that dictionary, Half-Gov! Although I’m sure you would refudiate that.

Get off the cross, Mary, we need the wood. There is a pervasive tone of personal persecution in her writing. She would be riffing on the joys of Christmas at one moment and toss in a snarky comment about Nancy Pelosi or liberals in general in the next. She often mentions her and McCain’s loss in 2008, and it’s obvious that she is still very bitter about it. She bitches about her treatment by the “lamestream media” (which she later abbreviates as LSM), she mentions the “angry, outraged, and just plain silly and rude responses” that she gets when she posts something on Facebook, and she says she gets “vile tweets.” She chalks this up to “the fringe” commenters. Sorry, Half-Gov, but not liking you doesn’t make people “the fringe.” She says, “The media speaks for itself and not the masses. Ignore it.” I think a more truthful statement would have been, “If the media calls me on my lies, ignore them.” She even mentions the ridiculous “free Obamaphone vouchers” story. When writing about her and some family members volunteering at a Wasilla soup kitchen on Christmas, she can’t stop herself from going on about losing the election and how she was maligned, her family mocked, their privacy lost. She then bitches about the ethics charges with which she was hit in Alaska: “My approval ratings—which had been the highest in the nation—plummeted.” Merry Christmas, poor people! News flash, Half-Gov: your approval ratings didn’t plummet because you had ethics charges brought against you. They plummeted because people saw for themselves that you abused the power of your office and they realized that you weren’t quite the person you had portrayed yourself to be. She equates the Affordable Care Act with “secular leftists” who view “babies as expendable and older Americans as crippling cost centers.” It’s the death panels again! She just can’t stop herself from regurgitating the same old lies.

Scenariopalooza. We are treated to the inner musings of the Half-Gov’s odd little mind as she regales us with constant fictional scenarios. We start with “Joe McScrooge,” an “angry atheist with a lawyer.” Joe listens to NPR (elitist!), and when he goes to the small town where his ex-wife lives with their son, he is disgusted with the public religious displays. When Joe McScrooge gets to the school, he parks “between two pickup trucks, one sporting a red-and-gold Semper Fi window decal, the other a faded, peeling McCain-Palin ‘08 bumper sticker. Joe audibly gagged.” Audibly! I wonder if he sounded like Sheeba coughing up a hairball? I’d like to think so. We get another pair of scenarios set in 2028, with the Half-Gov visiting her grandson Tripp at the University of Alaska. In the first, atheistic version, the communications director she speaks with wears Birkenstocks, there are gender-neutral bathrooms with foot-washing stations for Muslims, and Pagan and Muslim holiday celebrations occur, but Christian ones do not. In the non-atheistic version, all religions are celebrated—except the Christian celebrations are the best because DUH—and to top it all off, we get to hear about President-Elect Romney and his great hair! The Half-Gov Grammy thinks, “I guess sixth time’s the charm.” By the time I got to the “Joe the Student” scenario, I laughed out loud and thought, “Oh boy, another scenario!” Poor Joe the Student feels persecuted by the anti-Christian policies of his public school, and his parents are too busy with work to push back against the persecution. She didn’t specify if Joe’s dad was also a Joe, but it sure seems like there are a lot of Joes in the Half-Gov’s imaginary world! Personally, I was hoping for a story about Joe the Proctologist or Joe the Male Prostitute, but I was disappointed.

Atheists hate Christmas, the Baby Jeebus, America, and they have no morals. Here we get to the crux of this “book,” which is that “...the ‘war on Christmas’ is the tip of the spear in the larger battle to secularize our culture and make true religious freedom a thing of America’s past.” I call bullshit, Half-Gov. She seems unable to grasp the difference between religious displays on private property and those on public property, as well as the difference between atheists taking offense at the latter as opposed to the former. The vast majority of atheists I know are of the “live and let live” variety. If you want to put up a nativity on your front lawn, knock yourself out. But keep it out of our government offices, okay? She writes, “The atheists are trying to make Nativity scenes such a pain for cities to maintain that the public officials will simply remove all religious displays entirely.” Bingo! Give that Half-Gov a kewpie doll! Even a stopped clock is right twice a day, and she got this one right. Until we stop seeing all religious displays in government facilities, I say keep pushing for those Festivus poles. For the record, I don’t know of anyone who sees a Christmas tree (or holiday tree...I don’t care what you want to call it) as a strictly Christian display. The Christians stole it from the Druids, after all. A nativity scene is obviously Christian, however, and if you allow that to be displayed in your county courthouse, you’d better be prepared to allow a Menorah, a Festivus pole, or a pagan display, or any other display that any religious group wants to put up.

As for the “amoral atheists” stuff, I’m going to go into depth here and provide several quotes.

Without God as an objective standard, who’s to say what’s wrong and what’s right? Morality becomes a matter of the human will, as each person decides what’s right and what’s wrong for himself. 

Without faith, I doubt we’d have the love in our hearts that compels one to give, to volunteer, to be kind and loving to our neighbors, and to aspire to live the Golden Rule.

Without faith, we’d be, well, the secular Left—a group that data shows to be notoriously stingy with their time, money, and pleasant attitudes, and that believes ‘compassion’ is best represented by a failed welfare state that traps millions in lifelong poverty and despair.

Left to our own devices, without God in our lives, we drift toward evil.

I call bullshit—again. You DO know that the Golden Rule appears nowhere in the bible, right, Half-Gov? I also find it interesting that you provided no footnote as to your “data” that shows that atheists don’t give their time or money, or that they don’t have pleasant attitudes, or that they have no compassion. You know why? Because that data doesn’t exist. Liar. It strikes me as almost sad that so many people feel that without religion telling them what NOT to do, they would become “evil.” That doesn’t speak very well for you and your pals, does it? So you need to be told not to get all rapey and murdery and junk? Personally, I find that I’m not that way because it’s the right thing to do, both because I value my fellow human beings and because I value a civil society, and want to always try to do what is best for both. I may not always succeed, but I do try, and I somehow manage to keep my vile and amoral impulses in check.
Here are a few more fun quotes and my commentary:

...if you can’t handle protests, then it’s hard to handle other challenges of the job.

Oh, that’s rich! This would be the job that you QUIT halfway through, right? That job? I thought so.

...my friends bobbed their feather-banged heads to “Jessie’s Girl” and “9 to 5” on their headphones (I was more of a Van Halen and Joan Jett-type girl, and to get into a game-day mindset I’d listen to “Back In Black”).

If she listened to Van Halen, Joan Jett, and AC/DC in high school, I’ll eat my hat. I bet she was listening to Debby Boone wailing her way through “You Light Up My Life.”

She mentions her publisher, HarperCollins,

...the same publisher smart enough to publish this book.

That made me laugh.

She writes about the French Revolution and the Jacobins (“radical atheists”) changing street names to remove references to the saints:

We wouldn’t want any Frenchman to be offended and have a totally rotten, ruined day after glancing up at road signs to find his favorite baguette shop.

She really seems to dislike the French. Who can forget the fruit fly research in Paris, France??

I decided to run against good ol’ boy incumbents for mayor, then governor, because I knew the public deserved new energy to get the job done. [Emphasis mine]

Get the job done! That’s a hoot! But you DIDN’T get the job done, did you, HALF-Gov?

To sum up, this was yet another rendering of how the Half-Gov was persecuted and maligned and just plain bullied, gosh darn it. Not only in her brief political life, but those mean ol’ atheists are picking on her and her religion, too. She cherry-picks the words of the founders concerning a religious society, because taking the time to read more about how they felt is just too hard. Check out what Thomas Jefferson had to say about it sometime, Half-Gov, if you can tear yourself away from eating moose chili. Oh, and she includes a few recipes at the end of the book, including one for moose chili, and another recipe for something that I found rather exotic and experimental. Has anyone ever heard of these things called “Rice Krispie Treats”? Sounds really strange to me, but the Half-Gov swears by ‘em. Thank science she included the recipe, because I’m sure I never would have heard about this treat otherwise.

I’m not sure when I’ve read such a steaming pile of literary malfeasance. The Half-Gov is self-serving, self-centered, and completely narcissistic. Her portrayal of her magical, idyllic life (except for that bad spell where her teenage daughter somehow found herself preggers and her and Todd had a fight about it, and then all that losing and quitting and ethics charges junk) reminded me very much of someone we dealt with for quite a while, but no longer have to, thank science. When I was describing some of this to Ken and asked him who it made him think of, he knew exactly who I was talking about, and some of you will, too. There was definitely a feel of the “cozy country cottage” and “little cottage kitchen” (which was actually a small house in a suburb of a small city) in this “book.”

I’ll leave you with one final quote from the “book”:

And yet I’m pegged the idiot by the LSM?

The Return of the Grifter

Because I’m a glutton for punishment, I’ve been watching a little coverage of CPAC, the conservative conference going on right now in Maryland. I can’t watch much of it—one can only handle so much negativity and lunacy—but I watched Sarah Palin’s speech earlier today.

You haven’t seen me write much about ol’ Scarah lately, and that has been for a couple of reasons. First of all, I don’t like wasting blog space on her or giving her any attention whatsoever. (That is why I’m not including a picture of her here, even a funny one. So here’s a moose instead.) Secondly, there really hasn’t been much to write about. She has pretty much faded from the scene, even losing her job on ClusterFox. The biggest news about her lately is that “she” is “writing” another book, this one about the nonexistent “war on Christmas.”

But she got invited to CPAC, so I watched and took notes.

The specifics really don’t matter, because there were none. There was the usual stuff about Obama taking our guns away, the cornpone delivery with lots of “ain’ts” thrown in, the hockey mom jokes (is Piper playing hockey now?), gimmicks like pulling a Big Gulp out from under the podium, taking a swig, and making fun of Mayor Bloomberg, a stale TelePrompTer joke, a delivery that almost sounded like baby talk, and of course, plenty of Obama-bashing. She told a joke about Todd getting her a gun rack and him getting a gun: “He got the rifle, I got the rack!” Gross! What woman who wants to be taken seriously tells a joke like that? “Washington has become a reality show,” said the woman who had her own reality show and a daughter who appeared on a reality show and then had HER own reality show. She ridiculed green energy and mentioned the bogus “Obamaphone” claim. At one point, she channeled Joe Wilson and said, “Barack Obama, you lie!” At another point, she compared President Obama to Bernie Madoff.

In other words, she was tossing out chunks of bloody meat to the crowd, and the poor saps were just eating it up. It was pretty disgusting, and I was reminded all over again why I despise Palin. However, I take consolation in knowing that she really is essentially irrelevant now. Idiots will keep contributing to her PAC, and she’ll spend a fraction of it on actual candidates and the rest on “expenditures.” But her time as a political contender has passed. As Ken said, she’ll never run for national office again, because she’s just not smart enough. I’ll add that she also doesn’t want to work that hard. I’ll give credit where credit is due: she knows how to work a crowd. But so do pro wrestlers, and she has about as much legitimacy.

I’m sure that plenty of her supporters will continue to clamor for her to “Run, Sarah, run!” Personally, I would love it if she did. Not only would it be an endless source of amusement, but if by some bizarre chance she ever got the nomination, it would guarantee a Democrat victory. (I actually had someone ask me, “Why do so many liberals want her to run? She’s obviously a conservative.” Yeah...not the sharpest tool in the shed there, are ya, Skippy?) I find it a little sad, though, that so many people continue to love and support her and want her to run...and she just sits back and rakes in their money. She’s never going to run, you sad, sad people. But she’ll be happy to continue taking your cash.

So that was the brief return of the Governor. I suspect we won’t hear much from her going forward, other than a book tour for “her” book. You won’t read anything about her here again, either, unless she generates some genuine news.

Senator McCain, this is your legacy. You will be remembered for several things, some good, some bad, but one of the main things will be that you were the one who foisted this vapid, vindictive, greedy grifter upon the country, and put her within a stone’s throw of the Presidency. It is to our great fortune that you did not succeed, and it will be to your lasting shame that you even tried.

Another fruit fly moment

Anderson Cooper recently discussed the endless parade of Michele Bachmann gaffes and errors, culminating in her assertion the day after the latest debate that the HPV vaccine has serious side effects, including “mental retardation.”

Setting aside the fact that she seems to be confusing “mental retardation” with brain damage, there is no case for either consequence from this vaccine. I was reminded of the infamous Sarah Palin fruit fly moment (and no, I will NEVER let it go!), in which she ridiculed “fruit fly research in Paris, France.”

It might sound like a strange thing to trigger that last straw, but that was it for me. After that, I stopped being nice about Palin, because I saw that she had no intelligence when it came to science, and even worse, she had no desire to learn. Anything that was beyond her scope of knowledge was deemed foolish and a waste of money. (Never mind that research using fruit flies has numerous applications, including upon autism research.)

I’ve never given Bachmann a break; I recognized from the very beginning that she was a homophobic moron who wants to institute a theocracy in my country. Her remarks about the HPV vaccine, however, put her on a whole other plane of ignorance and irresponsibility. Her initial point in the debate about Governor Perry possibly involved in pushing the vaccine in order to benefit the manufacturer, Merck, was a legitimate one. Her assertions that it was a “dangerous injection” were not legitimate, and the following day, she took it up a notch and mentioned a woman who came up to her and tearfully told her that her daughter became “mentally retarded” after being vaccinated for HPV.

Bachmann tried to portray the vaccine mandate as government overreach, and I have no doubt that she preyed on typical conservative Christian fears that a vaccine for a sexually transmitted infection will lead to promiscuity. Just like free condoms lead to sexual promiscuity. Never mind the fact that it can keep a young woman (and with the new guidelines for vaccinating young boys, it protects them as well) from getting not only genital warts, but it can keep her from getting cervical cancer down the road.

Think about that for a moment. I still remember how exciting it was when we first started checking for HPV in my lab, because of the numerous studies that showed a correlation between HPV infection and subsequent cervical cancer. Showing the presence of the virus (and certain strains, which are stronger predictors of cancer risk) allowed for earlier detection and more aggressive treatment, resulting in greater survival rates. When the vaccine came out, it was even more of a breakthrough, because we were essentially vaccinating against cancer. This is astounding to me, and I honestly cannot understand anyone who would place the nebulous possibility of their children having premarital sex earlier than usual (or who thinks that their kids wouldn’t have premarital sex if it weren’t for those pesky free condoms and protection against a sexually transmitted cancer-causing virus) above the childrens’ long-term health and protection against cancer.

There has been no proof that vaccines cause autism. I’ve written about this extensively. For Bachmann to suggest that the HPV vaccine causes “mental retardation” is not just ignorant, it could possibly cause many parents to forgo the vaccine for their children and leave them open to this very common sexually transmitted infection and later cervical cancer. As someone who lost a very dear relative, my Aunt Bert, to cervical cancer, I take it seriously. So should Bachmann, if she can manage to think of the greater good when it comes to public health rather than pandering to the anti-government teabagger loons.

Bachmann made her pronouncement after speaking to one tearful mother who was certain that a vaccine caused her daughter to suddenly develop “mental retardation.” There are very real, genetic causes for such impairment, and vaccines aren’t one of them. Bachmann’s bizarre insistence on giving full credence to one parent and ignoring numerous studies, extensive research, and thorough vaccine trials should rightfully doom her candidacy. She is obviously someone who just does not want to learn and who does not trust scientists...or even science.

That’s entertainment

Tonight I listened to a live stream on a Rochester, Indiana radio station of a debate between the candidates vying for the 2nd Congressional seat. This might not be of much interest to the vast majority of my friends here, although I do plan on speaking about the bigger picture. If you don't want to read about any of this, I am totally cool with that.

The candidates are the incumbent Democrat, Joe Donnelly, who is one of the "blue dogs." I'm not thrilled with the blue dog bullshit, but all in all, Joe has been a concerned and responsive Congressman. I don't agree with all of his positions, but I like him overall, and he is a Democrat voice in the Hoosier sea of red. The Libertarian candidate is Mark Vogel, a pharmacy student at Purdue. The Republican candidate is Jackie Walorski, a teabagger darlin' endorsed by Sarah Palin. (I tried to find a picture of all three of them, but to no avail. Vogel doesn't stand a snowball's chance in hell, so I don't think a picture is necessary.)

I've made no bones about my utter loathing of Walorski, so I won't even pretend to be objective on this. However, I did take notes on the debate, and will write a few words here. My pal Milwaukee Dan #1 messaged me, said that he was taking notes, and that he was such a geek...I said I took notes, too, so I guess we're political geeks together! He then coined the term "Politigeek," and I think it's obvious that I qualify.

Here are several of the topics and the candidates' takes on them.

• Drug legalization: None of them were advocates, but all of them brought up meth and heroin. I cracked up. No one is advocating the legalization of meth and heroin. Come on! The question is obviously about the legalization of marijuana, but each of them sidestepped it and brought up freakin' meth. It was ludicrous.
• Abortion: Once again, Walorski tried to say that the health care bill allows for federal funds for abortion. Obama signed an executive order attached to the bill saying that federal funds would not be used for abortion, and that is the only reason that Donnelly, a pro-life, devout Catholic, voted for it. It's true that such an executive order can be easily changed, but to say that Donnelly voted for federal funds for abortion is completely wrong. At one point during Walorski's criticism of Donnelly, the crowd began to boo. In one of the most interesting moments of the debate, Donnelly took charge and said that no matter what the opinions here, everyone needs to remain respectful and respect the debate forum and all those involved. I thought that showed real leadership and real class.
• The United Nations: Both Walorski and Vogel said they want the United States out of the UN. Donnelly said that there is nothing wrong with sitting down and talking with people; Walorski said something about how inviting Ahmedinijad here, on U.S. soil, to speak at the UN is somehow legitimizing Iran's policies. On the contrary, I think that hearing Ahmedinijad talk about how there are no homosexuals in Iran simply showed how idiotic that regime is. The sort of isolationism espoused by Walorski, Vogel, and others really bothers me. We're all connected now, folks, like it or not. We have to try to deal with nations that we don't like, and simply ignoring them does not work. We can't just pick up our ball and go home.
• Privatization of Social Security: Walorski has said in the past that she was for it. There is tape of her saying it. Now she says no, she doesn't want that. The tapes don't lie. She also said that the new budget starts in January; the fiscal year starts in October. That was a dumb mistake.
• Stem cell research: Vogel and Walorski an emphatic "no," with little elaboration. Donnelly a "no" on embryonic stem cell research. I don't agree with him on that, but he did go on to say that he is for other stem cell research, including that on skin cells that can be converted to stem cells. I applaud his knowledge of recent research that has converted epidermal cells to stem cells. I can't remember if it was this topic in which Walorski mentioned how she tried to shut down Planned Parenthood in Indiana, but she was obviously very proud of that. Ugh.
• 14th Amendment: Walorski and Vogel did the expected anti-immigrant thing. Donnelly is anti-amnesty (another thing I disagree with him on) but said that he absolutely does not support any change in the Constitution.
• "Ground Zero Mosque": Amusing that someone asked this question. All candidates were pretty much in agreement that this was a property/state issue. Those of us in Indiana shouldn't really have a say in what those in New York decide about their own issues, anymore than those in New York should have a say in ours. However, the Libertarian candidate got off on a tangent about how the "federal government has attacked Christianity." Big load of horseshit. I don't think anyone is asking the federal government to step in and say that a Christian church shouldn't be built somewhere! More kudos to Donnelly for mentioning the Catholic convent that went up on the grounds of Auschwitz; he used it as an example of how something was moved because it was inappropriate, although it didn't happen for quite some time after some protested the convent there. Religious symbols weren't removed for 15 years after the establishment of the Carmelite convent. Still, I was impressed that he knew about it.
• Afghanistan: Walorski went off on a major tangent about spending, taxes, blah blah blah, then got burned by Vogel when it was his turn to respond: "Just want to make sure this question is about Afghanistan?" He got laughter and applause for that.
• Jobs: This was mentioned several times throughout the evening, because one county in this district, Elkhart, got hit really hard with unemployment. It was up to about 20% for a while. Donnelly has helped to bring jobs to the area with some big contracts for electric vehicles. He also got part of the stimulus money to the area, and helped to save a few thousand jobs in Kokomo, which is a huge vehicle manufacturing area. When he mentioned that, a huge cheer went up from the crowd, so I can only assume that there were some Kokomo people in the house.
• Education: Both Vogel and Walorski have called for the elimination of the Department of Education. Donnelly talked about the increase in Pell grants, the lowering of school loan interest rates, and the expanded GI bill, all of which he supported. When Walorski's rebuttal came, she said, "Okay, Joe, tell the truth---" and he immediately interrupted her and said, "I already did," and he got plenty of applause for that.

I have one more point here that I am choosing to set apart from those above. This happened early in the debate, with a question about global warming. Donnelly said that he is against cap and trade, and I don't feel that I can really speak to that until I learn more about it, and I know that I will need to. However, Walorski's answer summed up her philosophy, as well as the teabaggers', perfectly. She said that when it comes to global warming, she doesn't listen to the "liberal elitists." She goes around the area and talks to Hoosier farmers, and she thinks they know best what is happening with climate change, and she trusts THEM.

That's right. She trusts Hoosier farmers over climatologists to inform her about global warming.

For me, that was a Sarah Palin Fruit Fly moment. The fact that Walorski would reject science, scientists, and scientific findings and trust in what Hoosier farmers have to say is just...I'm sorry...I'm laughing. It is beyond ludicrous. I've known a few Hoosier farmers in my lifetime. I've known some smart ones. But while they might know about when to plant, if the soil is too wet to plant, and about what the weather has been like for the past couple of decades while they've been farming, that doesn't mean that they are experts on global warming. Holy shit, I could not believe my ears when she said that! I really shouldn't be surprised, though. This seems to dovetail nicely with the sentiment among some that opinions count for more than intelligence and knowledge. "I don't care about your fancy book learnin' and your goldurn scientific statistics! I'm a Hoosier farmer, by gum, and I know what I see!" Give me a fucking break. And Walorski can suck it for her troglodyte attitude that personal observation counts for more than scientific observation.

Okay! That is my take on the debate. There is another one (televised!) between these three candidates on Wednesday night, and I'll be watching it. I probably won't go in depth like I did with this one, but maybe there will be something new and interesting, and I'll comment on that.

I know that this race doesn't mean much to most of my readers, but it is a big deal around here. I would like to use this as an illustration as to why it is important to take an interest, and why it is important to be informed and vote! Especially when it comes to national elections. The winner of the race in my district will be going to Washington and making decisions for our entire country. I guarantee that I will do my part to make sure that Walorski won't be making decisions for all of you. I wouldn't wish her on my worst enemy, let alone my friends!

VOTE!

Bewitched, bothered, and bewildered

I suppose I need to write at least one post about the latest teabagger to grace the political stage: Christine O'Donnell.

I don't really want to, because she's so mind-bogglingly ridiculous, but because she could possibly become one of our United States Senators, I feel that I must.

Much has been made of her "I dabbled in witchcraft" statement of twenty-some years ago, but coming from a person raised in a fundamentalist church, I recognize that for the silliness that it is. Based on the fundamentalist viewpoint about witchcraft, the extent of her "dabbling" could have consisted of using a Ouija board. In that sect of faith, everything from gambling to rock music to R-rated movies can be considered flirting with satanic disaster. (Molly Hatchet just sprang to mind.)

So as far as her comments that she dabbled, I don't make too much of it, and I really don't care. Both Wiccans and Satanists have ridiculed her statement, saying that she was not one of them. Frankly, the whole thing has become laughable.

However, what bothers me about this woman (and about so many of the teabaggers...not all, but most) is this particular fundamental Christian outlook and approach to life. That is the religious outlook that I was raised in, and I ran...I ran so far away...and I did so for a reason.

O'Donnell speaks of dabbling in witchcraft; she speaks of masturbation being wrong; she speaks of condoms causing AIDS; she speaks of evolution being a myth and thinks it is a valid argument to wonder why we don't see monkeys today evolving into humans.

All of these claims bear a closer look, because this sort of thinking is indicative of a closed mind and a desire to evangelize. More about that in a moment.

I already mentioned the witchcraft thing. I grew up being taught that rock music and R-rated movies were of the devil. I recall several books and several sermons at church that dissected rock songs and gave details about why they were satanic. Everything from Alice Cooper (a band and persona named after a 17th century witch, and the disgustingly evil song "Only Women Bleed," which these books hysterically proclaimed was about *gasp* menstruation...actually, it's about domestic abuse, dumbasses) to Led Zeppelin singing "Gonna give you every inch of my love" was considered an ungodly and therefore satanic influence. The viewing of movies like "The Exorcist" was claimed to invite demonic possession. The same with seances or playing with a Ouija board. I grew up hearing that if something didn't glorify God, it was not to be listened to because it was a bad influence. Even Halloween was a night when demons ran rampant, just looking for a vulnerable soul to possess. I'm not kidding.

As far as masturbation, what planet is this broad living on? Humans are sexual beings, and it is natural and healthy to figure out how parts work! The suppression of these natural urges was another guilt trip laid on by religion; giving in to such urges also invited demonic possession.

Are you sensing a pattern here?

O'Donnell says that condoms cause AIDS. No, you dim bulb, a VIRUS causes AIDS. Condoms help prevent the transmission of the virus. Yes, of course, we can try to change behavior; but expecting people to not have sex is the height of idiocy. (See above: humans = sexual beings.)

Evolution is not a myth. It is accepted as fact by the vast majority of the scientific community based on fossil evidence, carbon dating, and most recently, DNA analysis. Monkeys did not and do not evolve into humans; we shared a common ancestor and our branches diverged thousands of years ago. This is a common misconception (and in many cases, a deliberate misrepresentation) when it comes to evolution. It is not a straight stick, taking us from apes to humans...it is a tree with many branches.

What bothers me about O'Donnell and her ilk is twofold. First, there is what I would call Fruit Fly Syndrome. Yes, I know I go on and on about this, but I think it's a perfect illustration of the lack of intellectual curiosity in some people currently in the political sphere. During the 2008 election, Sarah Palin gave a speech in which she spoke derisively about funding for "fruit fly research in Paris, France." Fruit flies are one of the basic research tools used in science, and they still provide valuable information. Shortly after her speech, a paper was published in which the researchers wrote of their isolation of a gene from fruit flies that looked to be connected to autism in humans. Kind of important, eh? And it's entirely possible that the facility in Paris, France (said so dismissively by Palin) was the Pasteur Institute, one of the most prestigious and important research facilities in the world.

I am truly dismayed by this sort of anti-intellectualism that is being embraced by the teabaggers. Theirs is a world in which everyone doing scientific research is an elitist. Anyone with an education from a premier university is an elitist. Anyone who makes them feel that they are inadequate is an elitist. And anyone who questions their facts and logic (or lack thereof) is most definitely an elitist. This is exactly what we don't want to be doing now. We need to encourage scholarship and advanced education rather than ridiculing it. I have been ridiculed for having a college education, portrayed as some sort of know-it-all with a "fancy" college degree. (Shane and I still laugh about the whole "fancy" designation, and love to insert that word into normal conversation as often as we can.) O'Donnell's question about why monkeys aren't evolving into humans shows a very profound lack of intelligence concerning evolution, and I suspect that her religion dictates that she not question the fundamentalist party line concerning the subject. After all, actually learning more about the subject might lead to further questions, which might lead to doubt, which might lead to a rejection of dogma and fairy tales.

The other thing that bothers me about O'Donnell is something I've written about previously. It's obvious that these types have an agenda and want to force their version of religion onto the rest of us. They love to talk about freedom of religion, but that seems to apply only to their own religion--not anyone else's, and certainly not anyone who doesn't believe or actually subscribes to that whole separation of church and state thing! Newt Gingrich called for the federal government to legislate that Sharia law will never happen here. Oklahoma wants a similar state law. This is ludicrous. Who the fuck is trying to institute Sharia law here?? No one! But people like Palin, O'Donnell, and their like-minded fans seem to have no problem with insertion of their own religion onto the national stage, and think we'd be better off if we did so.

Theocracies are not limited to the Muslim religion. There are people here who wish to institute a theocracy, one of their own choosing. We do not operate that way, and we cannot let them dictate policy based on their religious beliefs. That would be a true perversion of our Constitution...the one that they claim to love so much. We can't let them get away with it.

Writin’ stuff, doncha know

Hey, I forgot to tell you about our Oktoberfest party! We enjoyed ourselves, and I thoroughly loved eating some sauerkraut. I put some on top of my brat with some mustard, and then had a little on the side. Mmm. I have to say that their cole slaw is also mighty tasty...they put a little dill in it.

The place was packed, and I told Ken that they've hit on a very good idea with their Mug Club. It keeps people coming back, and they really do have good deals on drinks and food. They also had a DJ there from one of the local classic rock stations, and they played some rock trivia for prizes. I told Ken that next time we're sitting by the DJ so we can play! Two tables played against each other. Five questions, worth two points each, but only one point if you had to go to multiple choice options. With the first table's questions, I got ten out of ten. With the second table's, I got nine out of ten (the question was about a trio out of Flint, Michigan, and I had to hear the list to know that it was Grand Funk Railroad). I am a rock and roll trivia juggernaut! Haha!

The new Oktoberfest beer was okay, but I prefer my Duke of Wellington India Pale Ale. Apparently I prefer hoppy beers, with citrus tones and quite a bit of bitterness. Who knew? I'm not sure what other beers are like that, but I know I really like Blue Moon, and Duke of Wellington reminds of that. We got our Growlers--grrrrr!--refilled, mine with Duke of Wellington and this time Ken tried the Three-Headed Monster, a blend of Stout, Bock, and I think Duke of Wellington (he can correct me if I'm wrong).

And no, I didn't yodel, although it was tempting.

~~~~~

Change of subject...although I might need a drink after writing about this.

You've probably all heard that Sarah Palin's book is coming out in November. The title is to be Going Rogue: An American Life. ::giggle::

I'm sorry, but I can't hear "goin' rogue" without thinking of SNL's excellent skit, with Tina Fey as Palin and the real John McCain appearing on QVC. When "Sarah" breaks away and whispers, "Okay, I'm goin' rogue here!" it just cracks me up! That part happens about three and a half minutes into the skit.

I think I'm going to start using that phrase once in a while. If I do something out of my ordinary routine, I'm going to announce, "Hey, I'm goin' rogue here!" And if Ken tries to get all bossy with me and tells me what to do--he's such a tyrant, after all!--I'll say, "I'm goin' rogue here and not doing what you tell me! Because I'm a maverick!"

No, I won't be buying "her" book. I don't believe I'll check it out from the library, either. I have plenty of good books to read, and if her Facebook updates are any indication, I would not find any edification or words of wisdom there. I'll be content to find excerpts online and ridicule discuss them here. I'll give you fair warning before I do any of that, so if you don't want to read it, you can click your way right out of it. (Now would be one of those warnings.) I can tell you that I'm really looking forward to it, though, and that I'm expecting plenty of comedy fodder. I'll be like a kid in a candy store! A candy store filled with grizzly bear skins and big ol' king crabs on the shelves, wolf pelt evening wraps and limited edition prints of the list of books Sarah thinks should have been banned from the Wasilla County Library. A store with designer eyeglasses frames and a makeup counter that stocks every shade of lipstick known! A magical place with archival photos of BD and AD (Before Drilling and After Drilling) ANWR. A place where we can return to an America that never really existed, a place where men were men and the women ran for office and milked it for all they could. A place where the Constitution is followed as written, with none of those pesky Amendments that allowed women and blacks to vote. A place that (for a small fee) will rid you of the influences of witchcraft and purify your soul!

Ohhhh, yeah! I am delighted! Christmas is coming early at Nutwood!

David Letterman has already mined some comedy gold with this Top Ten List. Paul has a great line in here, but what this clip doesn't show is that at the end, when they're talking about Palin appearing on his show to promote her book [cue the look from Dave], an assistant tells him she's going to be there on the twelfth. Dave says, "Really? The twelfth of what?" Of course, the answer is, "The twelfth of NEVER!"

New arrivals

I'm starting to see young birds of various types now, and it's always funny to watch them. They just look sort of clueless. The other day there was a young robin (Holy Audubon, Batman!) on the deck, and he hopped onto the little fireplace we have out there, and just looked around and chirped. I imagined him thinking, "Okay, here I am. Now what do I do?"

Today, there were several young starlings and their parents raising a ruckus on the deck--man, they're loud! One youngster was hopping on top of the squirrel baffle and pecking at it as he slid down its slope. I watched him for a while, wondering when he'd figure out that the suet feeder was underneath the baffle. He finally did figure it out, and I felt absurdly proud of him.

We also have other youngsters making an appearance. As I sat here last night, I heard some of the wind chimes tinkling, although the wind was minimal. They hang from a hook on the deck railing, and if I hear them on a still night, it's a sure sign we've got a critter of some sort out there. I flipped on the light and saw this:

Yes, three baby raccoons. They were in a tight little pack, walking on each other and pushing against each other.

They didn't seem too disturbed by me, so I took my camera out onto the deck and walked right up to them. I could have reached out and picked one up. They were adorable enough that I kind of thought about reaching out to touch one...but Mama didn't raise no fools, and I know that no matter how cute, they are still wild animals and not to be messed with. For their own protection as much as mine.

I love the above picture, because see that third guy sticking his head up over the railing? When I walked out, he scrambled down the railing to the deck floor, but after a bit, he made his way back up. I just kind of hung out and watched them for a while (braved a couple of mosquitoes to do it, too), until they decided it was time to move on. They formed an orderly line and the three of them made their way down the deck railing to the other part of the deck. I wonder if they'll be back tonight? The seed feeders are empty, as they were last night, so there are no goodies for them, but it wouldn't surprise me to see them again.

I like to name our critters, and Moe, Larry, and Curly would be a natural, but the baby groundhogs got that a few years ago. I think I'll name them after one of my favorite trios, The Police. Guys, your names are now Gordon, Stewart, and Andy. Wish I could tell you three apart! By the way, I know that one of you (is it Rebecca?) does not care for glowing-eye animal pictures. My apologies...it was not intentional, and I couldn't avoid it.

I might be scarce for the next few days. I'm in full reading mode (finished one book, a couple of mags to get through, then another book to start), plus I'll be out getting plants into the garden this week, if the weather cooperates--it sounds like Friday should be a nice day. Yay!

Wait! I'm not done! I have to comment on something I heard on the news. Maybe I should just not watch. Hahaha! Of course, I can't do that.

In a speech at a Republican fundraiser last night, Newt Gingrich riffed on President Obama's comment last year that he is a citizen of the world. Newt said:

I am not a citizen of the world. I think the whole concept is intellectual nonsense and stunningly dangerous.

[sigh] Really, Newt? Really? (with a tip of the hat to Seth Myers) You think that isolationism is a solution to what ails us? I've been preaching writing here for some time now that we are inextricably part of the global economy. Beyond that, we are part of the world because we are part of humankind. At least I am. Last I checked, I was still an earthling. This sort of narrow thinking and inability to see the long view is what disturbs me the most about people like Gingrich. Chest thumping nationalism and jingoism is much of what got us into the trouble we're currently in on the world stage, and led us to the point where there are many around the globe who harbor extreme hatred for our country.

Wanting to be a part of the global citizenry, Newt, is neither nonsense nor dangerous. It's being human. "Intellectual nonsense"...I maintain that the lack of intellectual curiosity that you seem to possess (the same as that of your party affiliate, Sarah Palin, with her anti-fruit fly bias--that one was for Milwaukee Dan #1) about our world, other nationalities and cultures, and other religions, is the true danger in our midst. Knowledge is power, Newt. The rest of the world isn't going to just go away. There is a reason that companies and governments teach their employees and agents about customs in other countries. We need to be respectful of their cultures in our business and diplomatic dealings with them, and we are all ambassadors. Gingrich makes me think of some sort of mad Ptolemy of the political solar system, believing that the U.S. is the center of everything, that no one else matters. As Stephen King wrote, the world has moved on. Try to keep up, Newt.

I'm Beth, and I am a citizen of the world. You're welcome to join us anytime, Newt. It's a pretty big tent.