Soulmate, party of one

I know this story is getting tiresome, but Governor Mark Sanford can't seem to keep his mouth shut, so it's still got some legs. With the recent happenings in my family, I also find myself pondering this even as I'm chuckling at Sanford's florid prose.

It seems that in his initial confession-booth press conference, he didn't quite tell everything. There were more meetings with the Argentine babe than he admitted to at first, and in a case of verbal diarrhea, he went on to talk about other women in his past--women that he hadn't "crossed the line" with (i.e., they didn't hike the Appalachian Trail, which I think is one of the finest new catchphrases in recent history), but he did things that a married man shouldn't be doing. These encounters (maybe they just talked about hiking the Appalachian Trail) took place on trips out of the country with male friends, trips that were just to "blow off steam." [insert your own joke here]

Aren't his handlers telling him to shut the hell up already? It's like he can't stop himself! He tells his interviewers that his affair wasn't just about sex, that when he dies, he can say that he met his soulmate. He says their story is a love story--a forbidden, tragic love story, but a love story nonetheless. I'm surprised he didn't say, "She makes me feel like a teenager again!"

And oh yeah, he's trying to "fall back in love" with his wife, Jenny. Glad you added that on there after you got done talking about your soulmate of a mistress, Governor.

I just don't get this guy, and part of it is because he's got that weird moral code that condemns others for things that he finds immoral, but allows him to be off the hook with a mere apology. A long, meandering apology that apparently takes several days and multiple interviews. He does seem genuinely distraught at his own moral failings, but he seems even more distraught over the loss of his paramour, his soulmate, his yeah, yeah, yeah, brown sugar! (Couldn't resist the Stones reference there.) There is only one word for the guy: pussy-whipped. The guy's got PW written all over him.

But he wants to fall back in love with his wife? You can guess my reaction if I were in Jenny Sanford's shoes. Piss off, foo'. Why on earth would any woman want to take a guy back who speaks so lovingly about his mistress and then as an afterthought says that he wants to reconcile with his wife because of their kids? Well, I guess Hillary did, but I sure don't get it. (I'd be kind of surprised if Jenny Sanford does decide to reconcile--she strikes me as a very tough cookie.) The affair would be bad enough, but then the humiliation of being a virtual addendum in a press conference about his amazing, magical, "sparking" love story would be more than I could handle. Blood would be shed, Jerry, blood would be shed. (I recently watched "Fargo" again.)

I haven't done a poll in a while, so I thought I'd put one up about this and see what you all think. If you have further remarks rather than just voting, feel free to put them in the comments section. Maybe there are some really forgiving souls out there, but I sure don't think there would be any going back for me after reading those emails the guy wrote to his mistress. If nothing else, I think I'd be like, "God, you write like a teenage GIRL! Get out of my sight!" After the poll, perhaps you'd like to watch a video from one of my all-time favorite bands. I loved the Beatles, too, but I was definitely more of a Stones girl, which should come as no surprise to anyone here. Ha!

One hot party (and I don’t mean the GOP)

Unfortunately, it was way too hot to sit outside for today's cookout. I asked the folks to step outside and see how it felt to them, and even with the umbrella up and a fan going, it just felt a little too sticky and oppressive to sit outside. My Dad said he'd rather sit inside, so that's what we did. We have a stand-alone air conditioner in the living area, and just to give you an idea of how humid it was today, it shut down about every hour because the water reservoir was full. We've never had that happen before, and anyone who lives in a humid area knows exactly how miserable such mugginess can be. It was so bad that after everyone left, Ken went up to Lowe's and got another unit for the bedroom (it's a pain to put in the window unit) so we can sleep comfortably tonight! It's cooled off enough here in the living room that we have the windows open, but it's so hard to sleep in such humidity.

Anyhoo, everything turned out well! We had way too much food, which seems to run in my family. In retrospect, I wouldn't have needed to make the cucumbers and onions (I didn't even have room myself to eat them today, but we'll eat all week on them, so no worries), and do you think five pounds of potatoes for the potato salad was too much? I was able to send some home with both sets of folks, so that was okay. No one said it was the best they ever had, but everyone ate it and said it was good. Works for me! Also, two packages of brats was a little excessive. Ten brats, and there are nine left. I couldn't eat more than my one hamburger! Anyone want to come over and help us eat leftovers? There's plenty!

I still have more to write about our Detroit trip, and I've got another idea rolling around for an upcoming entry about dysfunction, but I just have to quickly mention South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford. When we got off of the computer a little before 2 PM, the talk was about how his hiking vacation on the Appalachian Trail was not the truth, and he'd actually been in Argentina. Huh? Oh, and his wife had said earlier that she didn't know where he was. Red flag, red flag! As I wrote on my pal Mark O's Facebook page, if Ken took off for a week and didn't tell me where he was going, and I later found out that he'd been in Argentina, he'd have some major 'splainin' to do! (And vice versa, of course. Who does that? You don't just take off for Argentina and not tell your partner unless something is seriously wrong in your relationship.) When I heard this, I figured something was rotten in Denmark, and thought there might be some sort of affair going on. I figured it was 50/50 whether it was a man or a woman.

After the folks left and I got back online, the headline was that Sanford had admitted an affair, and had resigned his chairmanship of the Republican Governor's Association. He has yet to resign as Governor, and maybe he'll try to limp along for the remaining year of his term. I can't imagine how he can possibly govern effectively after this. I think the most amazing part of this, and the part that you have to laugh at--even though he has hurt his family and betrayed his constituents with his complete absence and unavailability, and that’s far from laughable--is the few emails that have been released. Good grief, the guy's purple prose is just embarrassing, and I believe he has a future as a Harlequin romance writer: "The erotic beauty of you holding...two magnificent parts of yourself." We've been giggling about it all night, and Ken has been demonstrating. Haha!

I'm not going to make this about party politics, because I don't think it is. It's about some yahoo who is either arrogant or ignorant, or both, and thinks that he won't get caught. Republicans don't have the corner on this market, by any means. What is especially egregious about Sanford's screw-up (pun intended) is that he has been so moralistic in his attitudes concerning gay marriage and sex education. Apparently, the affair has been known of for five months, and he's been spending that time with a prayer group. How's that working for you, Governor? Not too well, I guess, since you made this recent trip. I don't care what party someone belongs to, this sort of sanctimonious posturing makes me sick. Freakin’ hypocrite. In SanfordWorld, it's okay to tell gay couples that they can't marry or adopt or have equal rights that are afforded to every other person in this country, or that kids can't learn about contraception and STD prevention in school because of your religious views...but the Grand High Poobah of SanfordWorld can violate his marriage vows and take off for South America for a week, leaving his state without an executive in charge. That is okay.

Crackuh, PLEASE.