Want to see something REALLY scary?

Imagine if you will....

A woman alone, driving on a back road, in the pouring rain. She is running from many things...her crime of embezzlement, a love affair gone wrong, her dissatisfaction with her own life. A distant sign beckons, a bright and garish splash of neon in the dark, rain-washed night. A haven of light and warmth. A motel. She pulls over, and rushes from the car into the office of the small, shabby, but clean facility, trying in vain to run between the raindrops. She arrives in the office, panting and soaked, and welcoming the warmth.

The proprietor of the motel greets her. A nice young man, she thinks, but a little odd. Skinny as a rail. A little too eager to please, his shyness almost painful, but somewhat ingratiating. She appreciates his kindness, but after he shows her to Cabin 1, she is relieved to close the door behind him. Left to her own thoughts, she is plagued with doubts, replaying the day's events over and over in her mind: the tryst with her lover, the humiliations suffered at her job, and her impulsive decision to take the money and run...just get in the car and run. Which has brought her to this place in the middle of nowhere, a deserted motel--except for her--in the desert, with a kind but strangely unsettling young man her only human contact.

Her thoughts get the best of her, and she decides that a nice hot shower might help to wash away the dirt of the road, as well as the dirt of her thoughts. She turns the faucets, and the steam begins to bellow. She steps in, pulling the curtain shut behind her. She relishes the heat and feels the pounding spray begin to wash away the stresses of the day and of her life. Her initial thoughts are of whether or not she can extricate herself from the mess she has made of her own life, but as the warmth of the needling shower works on her muscles, the tension leaves her and her mind goes blank.

A shadow appears through the curtain behind her. She is oblivious, turning under the spray and finally feeling a slight sense of peace, if only temporary. Suddenly, a hand reaches up and snatches the curtain back. She whirls around, her peaceful reverie rudely interrupted, and her initial shock turns to horror as she sees what is before her. She lets out a piercing scream as the weapon descends, over and over. No no no not this! she screams inside her head. She looks up and sees her attacker in the harsh glare of the overhead bathroom light, the reflection bouncing off of the porcelain tile on the walls. Her last sight as a living, breathing woman is of the bald pate of Joe the Plumber, wielding his plunger with evil and malicious glee. Joe whirls out of the room, and she collapses onto the cold tile, pulling the shower curtain down with her. Her last coherent thought is, "But he's not even licensed...."

(With worship and apologies to Robert Bloch and Alfred Hitchcock)

Linda Richman says, "Today's topic. Why Joe the Plumber is neither a Joe nor a plumber. Discuss amongst yourselves."

Today, "Joe the Plumber" called a press conference in which he not only endorsed John McCain, he also went on to explain his thoughts on foreign policy, specifically our relations with Israel. Now that he has actually "endorsed" a candidate, it means that he is not just a private citizen with thoughts and views, he is campaigning for a candidate, and open to investigation by news agencies. Nothing really new here--just the previously reported facts that he is not a licensed plumber, that he owes back taxes, that he also has a lien against him...just another fine, upstanding citizen on the brink of buying his own business...HARDLY!


It cracks [hey...get it?!] me up that McCampaign keeps talking Joe the Plumber this and Joe the Plumber that, even using it in ads. Joe the Plumber is a FRAUD, in case you missed it. I suspect that he might be sorry for what he's brought upon himself. Beth the Microbiologist finds his media-whoring ways endlessly amusing, and The Plumber That Wouldn't Die (and who seems ready to run for public office) has got to be one of the scariest things out there this Halloween season! AAGGGHHHH!

Enjoy one of the finest cinematic horror scenes ever made. Don't let this be YOU on election day!