Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Want to see something REALLY scary?

Imagine if you will....

A woman alone, driving on a back road, in the pouring rain. She is running from many things...her crime of embezzlement, a love affair gone wrong, her dissatisfaction with her own life. A distant sign beckons, a bright and garish splash of neon in the dark, rain-washed night. A haven of light and warmth. A motel. She pulls over, and rushes from the car into the office of the small, shabby, but clean facility, trying in vain to run between the raindrops. She arrives in the office, panting and soaked, and welcoming the warmth.

The proprietor of the motel greets her. A nice young man, she thinks, but a little odd. Skinny as a rail. A little too eager to please, his shyness almost painful, but somewhat ingratiating. She appreciates his kindness, but after he shows her to Cabin 1, she is relieved to close the door behind him. Left to her own thoughts, she is plagued with doubts, replaying the day's events over and over in her mind: the tryst with her lover, the humiliations suffered at her job, and her impulsive decision to take the money and run...just get in the car and run. Which has brought her to this place in the middle of nowhere, a deserted motel--except for her--in the desert, with a kind but strangely unsettling young man her only human contact.

Her thoughts get the best of her, and she decides that a nice hot shower might help to wash away the dirt of the road, as well as the dirt of her thoughts. She turns the faucets, and the steam begins to bellow. She steps in, pulling the curtain shut behind her. She relishes the heat and feels the pounding spray begin to wash away the stresses of the day and of her life. Her initial thoughts are of whether or not she can extricate herself from the mess she has made of her own life, but as the warmth of the needling shower works on her muscles, the tension leaves her and her mind goes blank.

A shadow appears through the curtain behind her. She is oblivious, turning under the spray and finally feeling a slight sense of peace, if only temporary. Suddenly, a hand reaches up and snatches the curtain back. She whirls around, her peaceful reverie rudely interrupted, and her initial shock turns to horror as she sees what is before her. She lets out a piercing scream as the weapon descends, over and over. No no no not this! she screams inside her head. She looks up and sees her attacker in the harsh glare of the overhead bathroom light, the reflection bouncing off of the porcelain tile on the walls. Her last sight as a living, breathing woman is of the bald pate of Joe the Plumber, wielding his plunger with evil and malicious glee. Joe whirls out of the room, and she collapses onto the cold tile, pulling the shower curtain down with her. Her last coherent thought is, "But he's not even licensed...."

(With worship and apologies to Robert Bloch and Alfred Hitchcock)

Linda Richman says, "Today's topic. Why Joe the Plumber is neither a Joe nor a plumber. Discuss amongst yourselves."

Today, "Joe the Plumber" called a press conference in which he not only endorsed John McCain, he also went on to explain his thoughts on foreign policy, specifically our relations with Israel. Now that he has actually "endorsed" a candidate, it means that he is not just a private citizen with thoughts and views, he is campaigning for a candidate, and open to investigation by news agencies. Nothing really new here--just the previously reported facts that he is not a licensed plumber, that he owes back taxes, that he also has a lien against him...just another fine, upstanding citizen on the brink of buying his own business...HARDLY!

It cracks [hey...get it?!] me up that McCampaign keeps talking Joe the Plumber this and Joe the Plumber that, even using it in ads. Joe the Plumber is a FRAUD, in case you missed it. I suspect that he might be sorry for what he's brought upon himself. Beth the Microbiologist finds his media-whoring ways endlessly amusing, and The Plumber That Wouldn't Die (and who seems ready to run for public office) has got to be one of the scariest things out there this Halloween season! AAGGGHHHH!

Enjoy one of the finest cinematic horror scenes ever made. Don't let this be YOU on election day!


  1. It isn't about the man himself, it's about the middle class, working man persona he *represents*. The ridiculous media backlash against the guy is no different than bashing an individual, somewhat hypocritical war protester and thinking it diminishes the cause they hold dear. Nope.

    And for the record his endorsement follows what, weeks? of attacks on him by the left. I'd say saying the endorsement makes him a legit target is closing the proverbial barn door after the horses have escaped.

    BTW - The fact that he owes some taxes and works without a license makes him about even steven with half the guys making a living out of the local Home Depot :)


  2. Was not sure where this was going at first, but love how you sequenced into "Joe". It is a bit rediculous, and they actually did a fund raiser to pay off his taxes and such. Shameless.

  3. That movie sends shivers up my spine no matter how many times I watch it.

  4. Hi Beth,
    Just to round-out the picture, I've heard on the news tonight that "Joe the Plumber" is now seeking a record deal. He fancies himself a country western singer. Give ... me ... a ... break ...!

  5. One of my movie faves of all time...

    Thanks for the 'Coffee talk' too!!!

    be well...

  6. Oh girl this is priceless. John keeps me informed but I wish he would just let me alone to read journals like yours and play my pogo games. lol

  7. Beth:

    "We all go a little mad sometimes"
    I love this filn and most of Hitchock's work. I thought that Anthony Perkins work in "Fear Strikes out" was great, and feel that Hitchcock thought so too!

    I know lots or "working Class people", who belong to both parties. They say that Joe the Plumber, does not represent them. My family is mostly working class people, or "Cutters" in Indiana. Ha HA

    We all know he is not our Cup of Joe.

    I feel that he has used his 15 minutes to look more like an Ass. He as accepted being another Smokescreen in this election, when we all know that there are more important things to report about. The Media and politicans have used him as a symbol, and he eagerly had his hands out for more! I'm glad you wrote about this turd, so I didn't have to!

    When his time is up, and the cameras stop caring, Linda Richman would say Joe the Plumber is back home recouping "He had developed Shpilkes in his geneckteckessoink!"

    Please have a good morning, and a wonderful day!


  8. Ok, wasnt sure where the heck you were going with this ! LOL
    Is'nt this guys 15 minutes up yet?

  9. oh that was a helluva way to wake up. LOL

  10. "Media-whoring", why Miss Beth, I am shocked! Joe just needs to step back and away from the camera! Be careful what you say and who you say it to.

  11. I used 'coffe talk' discuss line in real life!

    The whole political thing has been one of ebb and flow with me. I will be glad to see Nov 5th, particularly if the right canidate wins.

    Hope I am being on point ... little 'Try a little tenderness' weary

  12. The next thing you know, Joe the Plumber will be asking you for royalties for using his character in your movie scenario. Beware!

    Laurel the Museum Curator

  13. I have thought about that shower scene so many times, it is just so creepy!! The worst is when I am alone, in the shower and the dogs start barking and going crazy...that always pops into my head.

  14. First class writing dear one. Didn't see Joe until it was too late. It's sickening to watch him take his 15 minutes of fame and drag it on and on and on (get the picture)...

    Joe the plumber gives all plumbers a bad rap, or should that be crack in life...(Hugs)Indigo

  15. a part of me is damn grateful i have been too sick and too busy to even know who the hell this Joe the Plumber is. I hear about him....alot. XO


I'm funny how, I mean funny like I'm a clown, I amuse you?