Saved by the barbecue

Boy howdy, I had steam coming out of my ears yesterday, but once I had a full tummy, I felt all mellow and content. Today I'm still feeling pretty mellow, and that's probably a good thing. It really does help to sleep on things, and I feel like I will be more thoughtful and less emotional. We shall see. I think everyone should give a big thank you to last night's beef barbecue, because it is what kept me from writing a profanity-laden entry last night! If you're thanking the barbecue, you can't leave out the baked beans and the cole slaw, because they played a big part in it, too. So let's hear it for last night's meal! [applause] I think you’ll be glad that I toned it down a bit.

Before I get to my main topic, I should comment on the "American Idol" finale. I think it was the best finale they've ever had, with some awesome performances by Rod Stewart, KISS, and Brian May and Roger Taylor of Queen. Yeah, I know I'm showing my age there, but I still love their music. I was never that much into KISS, but their songs are fun in the short term. Did you hear Adam singing "my" song? ("Beth") Very cool! So a great finale, right up until they announced the winner, Kris. I'm not a Kris-hater or anything, and I think he's got a fine voice, but Adam's voice just blows him out of the water. I still think Adam is the superior talent, the better entertainer, and has the better voice, by a mile. I never heard him hit a bad note, and that's amazing in a weeks-long competition like this. They'll both do fine, and I wish them luck with CD sales and tours. But I hope Adam outsells Kris. [grin]

Do I think that Adam's loss had anything to do with him being gay? I really don't. We've embraced singers like Elton John and Barry Manilow (well, not the latter for me), and I don't see how that would color anyone's view of the contestants. I think that although Ken and I loved Adam's voice, there are plenty who didn't care for it or for his style. [shrugs] Each to their own. I thought it was a great season, and next year might be a bit of a let-down for me with no Adam. He's been my favorite contestant of all the seasons since I've watched the show. He sure generated a lot of buzz for them!

Okay, onto the main topic. Dick Cheney.

Warning: The opinions expressed here are those of the author. If you don't want to read bad things about Dick Cheney, there is no need to continue; feel free to move along. If you are offended by bad language, you may not want to venture any further, because there will probably be profanity involved. This will also be a long one. Pictures are provided for comic relief. Thank you for your patience and patronage.

After the President's speech on national security yesterday, Dick gave one of his own. I'm not sure when I've ever read such a steaming pile of idiocy. You know, I've always tried to maintain a certain respect for higher office, and even at Bush's worst, I tried to refrain from petty name-calling. Dick no longer gets a pass, because I've decided that he's just plain evil. He is scrambling to try to justify his behavior and authorization of the use of torture (and I've made it clear how I feel about that), hopeful that history will judge him well. In your dreams, Dick. History will judge you as one of the most heinous characters to ever come to power in our country. Let's look at a few choice snippets. I'll comment as we go along.

In top secret meetings about enhanced interrogations, I made my own beliefs clear. I was and remain a strong proponent of our enhanced interrogation program. The interrogations were used on hardened terrorists after other efforts failed. They were legal, essential, justified, successful, and the right thing to do. The intelligence officers who questioned the terrorists can be proud of their work and proud of the results, because they prevented the violent death of thousands, if not hundreds of thousands, of innocent people.

It's called torture, Dick. Stop the use of the euphemism "enhanced interrogation." It was torture. It was not legal. Not essential. Not justified. Very limited in its success. Most definitely not the right thing to do. The information prevented the death of thousands, if not hundreds of thousands? Where is the proof of that? What do you know that we don't, and if it was so successful, why aren't you sharing the details with us?

All the zeal that has been directed at interrogations is utterly misplaced. And staying on that path will only lead our government further away from its duty to protect the American people.

Bullshit! The zeal is perfectly placed: on you and others at your level who authorized torture! I also feel confident that our current administration is committed fully to keeping the American people safe, and the majority of people agree with me.

You’ve heard endlessly about waterboarding. It happened to three terrorists.

Three? Three?!  If the technique worked so well, why didn't you use it on everyone? Think of the information that was lost because you didn't use it on every suspected terrorist that you had in your slimy little hands. Way to go, DICK.

Torture was never permitted...

Bullshit! The consensus is that waterboarding is torture. You haven't been paying attention, DICK.

...we hear from some quarters nothing but feigned outrage based on a false narrative.  In my long experience in Washington, few matters have inspired so much contrived indignation and phony moralizing as the interrogation methods applied to a few captured terrorists.

Believe me, it's not 'feigned,' Dick, and what part of the narrative do you maintain is false? My indignation, and others', is not contrived, and I don't think you're one to talk about 'phony moralizing.'  You're spinning like crazy to try to get people to believe that you did no wrong. You're not just immoral, you are amoral.

What’s more, to completely rule out enhanced interrogation methods in the future is unwise in the extreme. It is recklessness cloaked in righteousness, and would make the American people less safe.

It's not unwise, you ass. It's the right thing to do. Again, don't be schoolin' us about righteousness; I don't believe you have a righteous bone in your body. What proof do you have that not using torture would make us less safe? What sort of twisted, insane logic draws that conclusion? Never mind, I answered my own question.

But no moral value held dear by the American people obliges public servants ever to sacrifice innocent lives to spare a captured terrorist from unpleasant things.

There you go again, Dick, with the euphemisms. Unpleasant things...I assume you're talking about torture?

For all the partisan anger that still lingers, our administration will stand up well in history...

Don't be so sure, Dick. You're trying, you're really trying, but you're not convincing anyone.

For all that we’ve lost in this conflict, the United States has never lost its moral bearings.

We  haven't, Dick, but you have. What's really sad is that you don't seem to care, while the rest of us are left holding the bag because of what you have wrought.

In addition, Cheney said that Adm. Dennis Blair, director of National Intelligence, had approved waterboarding because such techniques had provided us with a “deeper understanding of the al-Queda organization.” He conveniently left out Blair's further remarks: “...there is no way of knowing whether the same information could have been obtained through other means. The bottom line is that these techniques hurt our image around the world. The damage they have done to our interests far outweighs whatever benefits they gave us.”

Yes, Dick, your authorization of torture has damaged our perception around the world, and it could take a long time to repair it. This is the legacy you have left us, and left your country. So instead of putting your sneering mug out there in front of the cameras and trying to convince everyone that you did a good thing, that your actions saved lives, you need to shut the hell up, slink off like the mangy cur you are, and live out your remaining years in silence and much-deserved ignominy. You have disgraced yourself and your country, and your actions have led to the deaths of thousands of service personnel. You have no reason to be proud. You have every reason to be ashamed.