People are strange

That's no news flash, I know, but I was exchanging emails with a friend this morning, writing about some behavior she's experienced in others. I wrote that I really don't understand the sort of mentality that wants to constantly stir up trouble, and I guess I never want to understand it. It made me think of the Doors song.

People are strange when you're a stranger

Faces look ugly when you're alone

Women seem wicked when you're unwanted

Streets are uneven when you're down

When you're strange

Faces come out of the rain

When you're strange

No one remembers your name

When you're strange

When you're strange

When you're strange

I've always loved that particular song, because I think it reflects a certain state of mind very well. I've found that most behaviors and feelings feed off of themselves. I know that if I'm feeling a little blue, everything I experience seems to add to that feeling, until I can consciously snap myself out of it. (I'm fortunate in that regard...not everyone can do that, and I know that has to be so hard and so frustrating.) If I'm in a bad mood, little things that normally wouldn't bother me can seem irritating. When you're in a group of people, it seems like the negativity is magnified and increases exponentially. At work, there were times when someone would complain about something, and the next thing you knew, everyone was in an uproar! My friend Jillian and I used to tease people about being a Negative Nancy, and that would often get them to laughing and break the "spell." Believe me, there were plenty of times that I was in a foul mood at work, or angry about something, but for the most part, I tried to just keep to myself and lick my wounds until I was able to crawl out of my little hole. Haha!

I suppose it's connected to what I've written about some people seeming to thrive on drama...and if there isn't any handy at the moment, they'll stir up a little something in their big black cauldron. Not everyone does it out of sheer spite, although I've known those who do; sometimes it's just a matter of life not being exciting for them unless they have something to fret and stew over. I really don't get it, because I'm happiest when my life is drama-free. I don't find it enjoyable to be around people like that, and if you call them on it, they can get really defensive, and often lash out at you. [shrugs] Whatevah.

I would think it would make for a difficult and unhappy life to have such a distorted view of reality, one in which everyone is out to get you (paranoia will destroy ya...a Silver Squirrel to anyone who gets that reference!), every little thing is perceived as a slight against you, and you believe that the sole existence of the rest of the world is merely to focus itself on you, glorious you. If you can't get the attention in good ways, you use any means necessary to get it, and the collateral damage to those around you matters nothing. I'm not a big Dr. Phil fan, but in this case, he's right: It ain't ABOUT you!

Call me idealistic, or naive (just don't call me late for dinner!), but rather than being a stranger traveling the world and seeing everything and everyone as strange or wicked or maybe just as "other," I prefer to be what Mark calls a "friend on the back roads of life." (He got it from a Stephen King novel, and I've grown to love the phrase, too.) It certainly makes me happy when I can brighten someone's day instead of making them say, "Jeez, what a high-toned bitch," or having to leave a job or a school or even a relationship because somehow everyone seems to end up disliking me. Hmmm. Life is much more fun the former way; there's a world of difference between the excitement of a life made enjoyable by the many wonderful things out there, and the excitement of a life made interesting by volatility and the needless creation of drama.

Now here's the Lizard King to sing us out, and Mr. Morrison, you may be long gone, but you're still as fine as frog's hair....