Friday, August 28, 2009

People are strange

Distorted view3 That's no news flash, I know, but I was exchanging emails with a friend this morning, writing about some behavior she's experienced in others. I wrote that I really don't understand the sort of mentality that wants to constantly stir up trouble, and I guess I never want to understand it. It made me think of the Doors song.

People are strange when you're a stranger

Faces look ugly when you're alone

Women seem wicked when you're unwanted

Streets are uneven when you're down

When you're strange

Faces come out of the rain

When you're strange

No one remembers your name

When you're strange

When you're strange

When you're strange

Distorted view I've always loved that particular song, because I think it reflects a certain state of mind very well. I've found that most behaviors and feelings feed off of themselves. I know that if I'm feeling a little blue, everything I experience seems to add to that feeling, until I can consciously snap myself out of it. (I'm fortunate in that regard...not everyone can do that, and I know that has to be so hard and so frustrating.) If I'm in a bad mood, little things that normally wouldn't bother me can seem irritating. When you're in a group of people, it seems like the negativity is magnified and increases exponentially. At work, there were times when someone would complain about something, and the next thing you knew, everyone was in an uproar! My friend Jillian and I used to tease people about being a Negative Nancy, and that would often get them to laughing and break the "spell." Believe me, there were plenty of times that I was in a foul mood at work, or angry about something, but for the most part, I tried to just keep to myself and lick my wounds until I was able to crawl out of my little hole. Haha!

I suppose it's connected to what I've written about some people seeming to thrive on drama...and if there isn't any handy at the moment, they'll stir up a little something in their big black cauldron. Not everyone does it out of sheer spite, although I've known those who do; sometimes it's just a matter of life not being exciting for them unless they have something to fret and stew over. I really don't get it, because I'm happiest when my life is drama-free. I don't find it enjoyable to be around people like that, and if you call them on it, they can get really defensive, and often lash out at you. [shrugs] Whatevah.

Distorted view2 I would think it would make for a difficult and unhappy life to have such a distorted view of reality, one in which everyone is out to get you (paranoia will destroy ya...a Silver Squirrel to anyone who gets that reference!), every little thing is perceived as a slight against you, and you believe that the sole existence of the rest of the world is merely to focus itself on you, glorious you. If you can't get the attention in good ways, you use any means necessary to get it, and the collateral damage to those around you matters nothing. I'm not a big Dr. Phil fan, but in this case, he's right: It ain't ABOUT you!

Call me idealistic, or naive (just don't call me late for dinner!), but rather than being a stranger traveling the world and seeing everything and everyone as strange or wicked or maybe just as "other," I prefer to be what Mark calls a "friend on the back roads of life." (He got it from a Stephen King novel, and I've grown to love the phrase, too.) It certainly makes me happy when I can brighten someone's day instead of making them say, "Jeez, what a high-toned bitch," or having to leave a job or a school or even a relationship because somehow everyone seems to end up disliking me. Hmmm. Life is much more fun the former way; there's a world of difference between the excitement of a life made enjoyable by the many wonderful things out there, and the excitement of a life made interesting by volatility and the needless creation of drama.

Now here's the Lizard King to sing us out, and Mr. Morrison, you may be long gone, but you're still as fine as frog's hair....


  1. I love that song, too. Hope you guys have a great weekend.

  2. we have a negative nancy in the middle school. the shit she told the new 8th grade teacher scared the HELL out of her. i told her if she wanted to know something without a side of opinion and gloom to come talk to me anytime.

    i believe in being realistic, and being as realistically enthusiastic as the situation permits after examining the risks/ odds of a 'sitchufailure'.

    i find i am at my most negative when i am doubting myself.


  3. Too easy...the Assembly
    Sang along as I read People are Strange-
    Thank Goodness but the again - How Strange ???

  4. Amen to a drama-free life! I've seldom met any drama queens that weren't self-involved and egocentric. For me, bad moods are just that...moods. And moods, by definition, are fleeting. Of course we all have them, but unless they are brought on by some catastrophic event in one's life, it's not that difficult to remember that the sun will probably shine much brighter the next day.

  5. The Kinks = Paranoia

    But you are so right... negativity can be catching... I choose to spread optimism! Or try to!

    be well...

  6. For me, I get challenged when I do not smile, because that is my natural state. Drama sucks :o)

  7. Raising my glass to a no drama zone. Don't like it, don't need it and I don't get involved in it.
    Just being around negative people can exhaust me and you are so right about everyone else feeding in to it.

    "People are Strange" is a great song!

  8. A comment from Sandi on Facebook:

    what you wrote is all so true, I try to wake each morning and welcome life, thankful for being here...I also try to stay away from negative people - they can actually make you feel ill as though a poison was seeping from them into more of that for me.....

  9. *sigh* You described someone I know almost perfectly.

  10. Beth...I think you are just great..You seem to be always putting into words my feelings exactly..perhaps instead of writing my blog I should just write ...see Beth's page for my views..(.usually !!!) that would save me time thinking what rubbish to write about LOL
    I am always (well usually!!) a "smiler" and make it my job to make everyone smile as well...but boy is it hard work at times..
    Have a lovely weekend
    Love Sybil xx

  11. I hate to admit it but when I'm in a pissy mood... EVERYONE knows it. I don't have to be bitching about what's bothering me, I'm just ill tempered and short with everyone. I have kind of a look that says 'Fuck you, get out of my way or I will cut you.' ;) I try to snap out of it as quickly as possible. Usually it's just hearing a certain song at the right time and I'm as good as gold after that.
    You know how I feel about drama so I know don't have to go into it again. I tended to have people not like me at the places I work because I WON'T do the backstabbing and gossiping. If you're not doing it with them, they assume you're doing it ABOUT them. No, I just don't want to be walking around looking for shit to bitch about and people to say shit about. The only person you hurt when you're hateful, vindictive and mean all the time, is yourself because at the end of the day, you will be a verly lonely, angry and bitter person, with only yourself to blame. Myself, I prefer sunshine, butterflies and cupcakes to the dark sludge that those people live in.

  12. Ed Sullivan and The Doors.
    Now that's strange.

  13. Love that song! And....Happy Birthday to you!
    Happy Birthday to you! Happy......Birthday to you.............! Trust me it's better I don't sing it for real. Wishing you the beauty of the day filled with love and peace! (Hugs)Indigo

  14. hey beth...

    you are so right with everything you've said here. i hate drama and try to avoid it whenever possible, too.

    the song is the kinks -- "destroyer" off of the "give the people what they want" album.

    happy birthday cuz! love you!


  15. Man, gotta love Morrison!! WAY WAY ahead of his time. That song could be an anthem for many. Lovely entry, as always and you are SO right.

    some thrive on lies and bullying and inventing things and drama. Must mean they got lots of time on their hands or they are plain fucked up in the head, if you ask me.

    it is true that when you are upset, grumpy or pissed, little things can really get to you. Then you have to make a conscience effort to change your feelings and attitude and THAT can be hard!


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