A little paranoid, are we?

Yeah, I'm talking to you.

One of the hazards of blogging, one that any of us who have been at this for a while have experienced, is the strange phenomenon in which someone thinks you are writing specifically about them. It hasn't happened to me often, but I've gotten an occasional email from someone wondering if I was writing about them. They've always been friendly in tone, more apologetic than anything, wondering if something they had written in a comment had offended me. I'm always flummoxed when I get such responses, and I usually email them back with an emphatic "No, not at all!"

It's always a good lesson, though, to be reminded that sometimes things can be misconstrued to an extreme degree. I was exchanging emails with someone about this recently, a long-time blogger, and she wrote that it's been her experience that there is often an underlying feeling of guilt in such a situation; something we've written has struck a nerve in someone, and they believe that you were targeting them specifically. I doubt if that's true in all cases, but probably in some. Writing is the poorest form of communication (although I find it the most entertaining) because it takes away body language, tone of voice, and subtle innuendo. It's not always easy to express yourself in writing, and it can be a challenge to retain clarity while still getting your point across.

For the most part, I write about things in general terms, trying to look at the human condition rather than targeting a specific person. I'll write about people in the news, but I'm always specific when it comes to that. If I want to address someone in particular, I will usually send them an email or, rarely, leave an additional comment here. You won't see me dishing dirt about fellow bloggers here, mainly because I really don't operate that way. Everyone seems pretty cool and even-keeled here, at least as far as I can tell. After all, this isn't high school.

Of course, I suppose there might be a few flying under the radar that are raging paranoiacs or obsessives and believe that everything I write is somehow a special message just to them. All I can say to them is that it's not all about you. I've been pretty lucky in not attracting an inordinate amount of such people, knock on wood. (I hope I didn't just jinx myself.) I will break with protocol and send a special message to any of those types of people who happen to be reading: I hate to break it to you, but my life does not revolve around you, and chances are good that I am not writing about you. If you choose to continue to believe that I am doing so, your paranoia and obsession may be getting the better of you. (I’m also not the sole resident of South Bend. There are over 100,000 of us. Private joke.)

I do believe that the vast majority of instances in which someone thought I was writing about them were innocent misunderstandings. Perhaps I inadvertently and randomly hit upon something pertinent to their situation. (Sort of like Michael Scott spreading false rumors in "The Office," and accidentally hitting upon the true one, that Pam and Jim are having a baby. I love that show!) Such misunderstandings are easily rectified by sending me an email, and I will respond and reassure you that I did not have you in mind when I wrote whatever I wrote. For those who consistently believe that I am addressing them or their situation in particular, well...that seems a little egotistical to me. It's a safe bet that you do not hold such an important place in my life, and I'd also be willing to wager that it is wishful thinking on your part. Almost everyone I encounter here is reasonable and super-cool, and I consider most to be friends…but it's that occasional paranoid loon who can really make you wonder what goes wrong when it comes to some people's internal wiring.

(Please note that this sign is just a joke, based on the age-old question of a wife asking her husband, “Do you think I look fat in these pants?”)

I'm not talking about simple neuroses or personal issues; we all have those to deal with in our lives. I'm not talking about those who disagree with my opinions; that's your right, but I appreciate civility if you choose to voice your own opinions here. (A better option would be to voice them on your own blog—that way you can be as vociferous as you like.) I'm talking about those who seem to hate me, yet they just can't get enough of me. That Anon a while back who wrote as multiple people, leaving comments that disparaged me or Ken...but couldn't seem to stay away. I honestly don't get the point of such behavior. I don't like everything I read, but sometimes I read things that I really disagree with because it makes for good blog fodder—it gets me to think about larger issues and situations. (It can also be highly entertaining, although sometimes I feel I need to take a bleach bath to clean off the slime.) I certainly don't feel the need to lash out at someone on their own blog, and I definitely don't believe that they are speaking directly to me, unless they make it obvious by quoting something that I've written.

I like this quote from Jean Cocteau: “What the public criticizes in you, cultivate. It is you.”

Sounds like good advice, Jean, but I'll modify it a little. I enjoy flattery—who doesn't? I believe I'll choose to consider the source of criticism. If it comes from those who I know care about me and consider me a friend, I'll understand that it is constructive criticism and that they have my best interests at heart, or simply disagree with something I am saying. If it comes from those who want nothing more than to hate on me, my life, my family, my opinions, or my integrity, I will know that I'm doing something exactly right, and I shall cultivate it.

Bloggin’s like a box o’ chocolates….

You never know what you're going to find...or what is going to find you.

As if I wasn't have a great enough weekend already, I received an email today that went to my spam folder. I didn't recognize the address (and neither did AOL's software, obviously), but the subject line concerned the Alba Court Inn. At the risk of opening some sort of scam email, I decided to check it out.

First of all, a little background. Most of you know that Ken and I have a timeshare in New Smyrna Beach, Florida, and go there every year. We really do feel as though it's our second home, and we enjoy our visit and the town every time we go. When we first started going, there was a place in town called the Alba Court Inn. It was an old hotel, long abandoned, and of course it captured my imagination, as such places often do. I always speculate that places like that are haunted, but that's just my runaway imagination. If they're haunted by anything, it's memories, or by people like me who wonder about the visitors over the years. Although, one never knows, does one...? [spooky laughter]

I tried to find out some information about the Alba Court Inn, but there wasn't a whole lot out there. I wrote to one of the city officials, and he didn't have much more information for me, other than that the hotel was slated for demolition. We were able to get quite a few pictures before that happened, including of the trashed interior, and he later sent me a few of the actual demolition. Although we know it's been gone for a couple of years now, we still drive by the location. I was saddened to see this time that even the sign is gone. I wrote several times about the place, and you can read those entries here, here, and here. I was able to find a postcard on eBay, and it resides in one of the curio cabinets with other treasures like a nail from John's Modern Cabins on Route 66.

Back to the email. When I opened it, I was delighted to read this:

Dear Beth

I just came across your blog postings at http://nutwoodarchives.blogspot.com/2007/09/alba-revisited.html etc

I am doing some research on the Alba Court Inn, as it was owned in the 1920s by T J Talty, first cousin of my greatgrandfather. When T J died on April 1, 1926, he left a substantial estate but no will. The case became known as the Talty Millions here in Ireland, and my greatgrandfather was one of numerous beneficiaries (first cousins, etc) who shared in the proceeds (more like a quarter of a million dollars in total).

I thought you might be interested in the bits and pieces below which I have come across in my search. If you ever come across any further information on T J Talty or the Alba Court Inn, I would be delighted to hear from you.

Best wishes

Paddy W.

Ireland

==========================================================

In December 1922, the Miami Herald Record in its Business and Hotel Directory of the East Coast of Florida carried regular advertisements for `Alba Court Inn BOTH PLANS

OPEN ALL THE YEAR

REFINED - COMFORTABLE

RATES REASONABLE

WASHINGTON ST. & FAULKNER ST.

T. J. TALTY, PROP.'

The Brooklyn Daily Eagle Winter Resort Directory, 1923-24 gives a more detailed description. The Alba Court Inn was one of four establishments in New Smyrna Beach in this directory. It accommodated 75 guests, was half a mile from the local (railway?) depot, was near water, the proprietor was T J Talty and the season ran from November to March.

At http://fulltextt10.fcla.edu/DLData/SN/SN0AAB9617/1925_000/file24.pdf is a directory of New Smyrna (an incorporated city in Volusia county) from Polk's Florida Gazetteer and Business Directory 1925 in which the first entry is: `Alba Court Inn T J Talty prop hotel'

http://www.geocities.com/yosemite/rapids/8428/hikeplans/new_smyrna_beach/plannewsmyrna.html says that the Alba Court Hotel, Alba Court Inn, a 26-room hotel, `was built in 1906 by James and Clyde Pennell. The three-story lobby provided cross-ventilation to the guest rooms. Steam heat and gas were supplemented by in-room plumbing added in 1917.'

The hotel address is 114 or 115 Washington Street.

`Maine cottages: Fred L. Savage and the architecture of Mount Desert' by John Morrill Bryan, Fred L. Savage, Richard Cheek (House & Home, 2005) says that by 1911 Herman Savage, brother of Fred, owned the Alba Court Hotel.

According to http://www.myhometownnews.net/index.php?id=32623, the Alba Court Inn, built in 1906, was demolished Abt 19 Oct 2007.

Ballina

Killaloe

Co. Clare

Ireland

~~~~~

How amazing is that? Someone from County Clare, Ireland came across a 2007 entry of a girl from Indiana about an obscure and now-demolished Florida hotel, and he is related to one of the people who owned it. I have responded and asked him if he would like me to send the pictures I have.

As you can imagine, it made my day.

Blog Blog Baby

Wow, I'd forgotten about that parody, and what an awful song the original was! What a blatant ripoff of Queen’s “Under Pressure.” I think this clip was on "In Living Color." Recognize that guy? It's Jim Carrey. Now that I've stopped laughing, I'll move on to my topic, which is blogging.

I know, I know, we've all talked about it before, nigh unto death, but some interesting new statistics have come to light. Also, Cousin Shane's friend Doug (Hi Doug! [waving]) wrote to me and said that he wants to start a blog and would like to talk to me about it. We had a nice conversation, and talked about different platforms, ease of use, etc. So it's on my mind today, and I have to say that I was quite surprised to read some of the statistics.

My friend Dan (Milwaukee Dan #1...Hi Dan! [waving]) sent me a story on Facebook from the New York Times concerning blogging. Follow the link to read the entire article, which was quite interesting. According to the article, blogs have a higher failure rate than restaurants. For anyone who has ever thought that it would be "fun" to own a restaurant and did a little research and found out just how hard it is to maintain a steady clientele and income, that comparison is shocking. Restaurants drop like flies (although that's probably an unfortunate metaphor) every day, so I would think it would be hard to have a higher failure rate than that! Not so.

According to a 2008 survey by Technorati, which runs a search engine for blogs, only 7.4 million out of the 133 million blogs the company tracks had been updated in the past 120 days. That translates to 95 percent of blogs being essentially abandoned, left to lie fallow on the Web, where they become public remnants of a dream — or at least an ambition — unfulfilled.

95%?! That's astounding to me! What's even more astounding is to realize that those of us that update regularly constitute only 5% of the blogs on Technorati. Doesn't that make you feel a little bit special? It does me. I've said before that I send a salute to all bloggers who are able to keep it up and keep going. Of course, real life gets in the way, and not everyone has enough time to make regular entries--I'm fortunate in that regard. The article also mentions the popularity of MySpace, Facebook, and most recently, Twitter (which made the cover of Time this week, believe it or not). I think that those of us who made the transition from AOL Journals to Blogger have definitely noticed the drop-off of some regulars at AOL, and I think that some of that has to do with microblogging sites.

I like to mix it up a little. I still love writing here, but I love connecting with work friends and blog friends who use Facebook--I also love how easy it is to share articles or videos there. I never got into MySpace, although I have an account there, and I'm not quite as enamored with Twitter as so many seem to be at the moment. (Fame is fleeting Twitter...you've been warned.) I do sort of like posting random thoughts (à la Jack Handey), but I still prefer and need to expand a little more upon my thoughts. Maybe the next au courant site will consist of one word updates. Twitter is fun for stalking following the famous and semi-famous, and my latest acquisitions (makes me want to read The Collector again) are Russell Brand and Jason Segel (after watching "Forgetting Sarah Marshall"). Russell Brand is quite the enigma. But I digress. Back to the article.

Richard Jalichandra, chief executive of Technorati, said that at any given time there are 7 million to 10 million active blogs on the Internet, but “it’s probably between 50,000 and 100,000 blogs that are generating most of the page views.” He added, “There’s a joke within the blogging community that most blogs have an audience of one.”

Again, astounding. How cool is it to build up a little following, to know that there are people out there who want to know what you have to say? It's way cool, that's how cool. It makes me very grateful that I get feedback from you all, and to have people reading this other than family! I am very happy about that, and I thank you all.

To Doug I say "safe passage and bon voyage!" I look forward to reading what he has to write, and if he chooses to make his blog public, I will definitely put up the link here. He's a wonderful writer who was stationed in Afghanistan and recently opted out of the Navy and returned home. I suspect he might have plenty to say!

*****

One more topic, and then I think I’m done for the evening. I’m not letting this one go by without rebuttal. I read something today in which the writer included this picture of Michelle Obama and Carla Bruni at the D-Day tribute in France over the weekend. They interpreted it as Mrs. Obama having “issues,” and took it as some sort of indication of nastiness or hatred on the first lady’s part. The general attitude was that it was typical of her.

Oh, for God’s sake. And people wonder why I find such writings ridiculous, counterproductive, irrational, illogical, and foolish. Did I leave anything out? Oh yeah…stoopid.

I’ll tell you what. Let’s say we have…oh, how about a hundred? That’s a nice round number, although it’s probably much more than that. Let’s have a hundred photographers from all over the world follow you around at, if not every waking moment, every time you appear in public. Let’s say that each of those hundred photographers takes a hundred pictures in the space of an hour—again, a very conservative estimate, because most photojournalists will take many more than that. Let’s then say that you spend five hours in the public eye, with those hundred journalists taking one hundred pictures per hour. [picture me wearing a green visor, an armband, and punching in numbers at an adding machine]

By my calculations, that is a conservative estimate of 50,000 pictures.

So you’ve got 50,000 images of every expression you make while you’re out and about. Every grimace of pain as a pebble works its way inside your shoe. Every sideways glance you make. Every squint as the sun proves to be a little too bright, and since it’s impolite, you can’t wear sunglasses at certain times. Every time you get a wedgie because your panties creep up on you. Every moment that you aren’t smiling. Every time you feel a muscle twitch or experience a pain in your neck or back because you worked out a little too vigorously the previous day. Every time you experience all the little aches and pains and twitches and irritations that we all experience every fucking day, you’ve got someone there snapping a picture of you. Think about what sort of pictures might be captured of you.

Cut it out, people. This is bullshit, and you know it. If any of you want to say, “But Beth, you put up pictures of Sarah Palin’s office, and talked about that!” Yes, I did. That is a physical space, a reflection of her philosophy and her environment, and not a split-second snapshot of her face interpreted as something sinister. Putting up such a picture and portraying the first lady as angry or elitist or feeling contempt for other first ladies or for ceremonies honoring those who have served in the military is foolish, it’s hateful, and it’s an incredibly stupid argument that shows nothing of substance, only the contempt and hatred you feel for the President, and apparently for his wife.

And that’s all I have to say about that.

Blogging: Not for the fainthearted

I'm feeling quite mellow, so I'm thinking we won't have any fireworks here today. Of course, the day isn't over yet! Don't push my buttons, Anons, and spoil my mellowtudiness!

I've been at this for about two and a half years, and I'd say I've been pretty lucky in not attracting too many loony, stalker-types. Well, not too many that make their presence known, anyway. Lurking is not the equivalent of stalking. (That one was for you, Jimi!) I've also been fortunate in not getting a lot of nasty comments, although I've had a handful. They're actually fairly entertaining at times. I know some people will delete comments and not address them, and sometimes that's necessary. I think you have to take each one under consideration and go from there. Hijacking someone else's blog in order to further your own agenda is not cool. I want to say, hey, write it on your own blog!

I'm more of the type that prefers to drag those anons out into the light of day, kicking and screaming like the toothsome, pasty-white bloodsucking fiends they are. I can't help it...I just kind of have fun doing it. Basically, my feeling is that anyone who hides behind anonymity is a puling little coward who deserves whatever they get, and they may very well get an earful if they try it with me. Chances are, if you leave a nasty comment using your screen name, and you have a profile and a blog of your own, I'll leave you alone. At least you have the balls to come out of hiding, although I probably won't take whatever bait you're dangling. But most who write nasty comments will do so anonymously, and for me, that is fair game. It's go-time, Skippy!

I'd like to tip my hat (if I were wearing one) to everyone who writes a blog and keeps at it. It's not always easy to write regularly, especially when you work. A lot of people may post only once in a while because they're so busy, and that's understandable. I think it's great when people don't give up and keep going. I've seen plenty who decide on a whim, "Everyone is doing it--I'll start a blog!" Only to get tired of it, or bored with it, or be distracted by something else ("Hey look--a quarter!"), or else they get frustrated and give up, then start the whole cycle again. Another example of the hobby-of-the-month club mentality, I suppose, being unable to follow through with something before becoming bored with it. And remember: boredom is not an option!

So to all of you who have the sticktoitiveness to keep writing, the tenacity to not give up, who love putting your thoughts to the screen if not the page, and who have a thick enough skin to put up with some of the inevitable nasty comments, here's to ya! Huzzah!