An afternoon with Cousin Shane

I was very pleased to get an email from Shane a couple of days ago asking if I wanted to get together for lunch Wednesday or Thursday. Turns out he had the week off and was doing a “staycation,” and I was happy to say, “Yes! How about Thursday?”

So I headed out around noon and met Shane at his and Matt’s place, and after he showed me around out back to see all their new plants and stuff (looking good, guys!), we hopped in Joan Jetta and motored up to Hensell’s Oaken Bucket. I’d link to it, but they don’t have a website...they really should get one. All the cool kids have one!

The Oaken Bucket is a well-known little local place. Nothing fancy, just a pub sort of atmosphere. We’ve been there several times, and Ken and I took his Mom there a while back, but I don’t think any of us had ever had a chance to sit out on the patio. Shane and I were happy to get a chance to do that, because it was a lovely day. The Bucket sits right on the St. Joseph River, so we had a pretty view and got to see a couple of kayakers go by. We realized there is another, lower level, that is just a few feet above the river, and there’s a neat little bar down there. I’d love to sit down there one of these days.

The Oaken Bucket has a reputation of having one of the best burgers in town, and although I haven’t sampled all the burgers in town, I’d have to say the Bucket's is my favorite...so far! Even with ordering mine well done, because...you know...E coli, they’re always juicy and flavorful. A generous size, too, and I could only eat half of mine, so sent the other half home for Matt if he wants it. Shane’s post about the “best burger in town” generated a bit of a discussion, and Shane and I agree that when discussing such things, chains are automatically left out of the equation. We only bring local places to the discussion table. Five Guys and BW3 have good burgers, but they aren’t unique to our area, and that’s what we’re the most interested in. (I also happen to think the Oaken Bucket’s burgers are better.) I know most newspapers don’t make that distinction, but that’s how it is in our universe!

After a good lunch and a pleasant chat, we were off, and Shane drove me by the only Lustron house he knows about in the area. You know, I don’t recall if I posted here about the Lustron service station near us that is going to be torn down because of the new highway, but I stopped and got pictures the other day. I’ll post them all here at some point. Lustron was an interesting late-’40s phenomenon: a home built entirely of steel panels. Even the interiors were steel. The link I’ve included here is a Lustron site, and the specific page is of Indiana Lustron homes. The first one seems to be the one we saw today. (If you click on “Home” on that site, you’ll find the main page and lots of great information about Lustron. Really unusual and fascinating mid-century modern homes!)



As you can see from the photos I took compared to the ones from when the home was maintained, it has deteriorated greatly. It is for sale, but there are signs posted that it is contaminated with mold. From looking in the windows, it looks as though they modified the interior, putting up drywall, wood cabinets, and other modifications. You know, if you’d just stuck with the steel walls, previous owners, you probably wouldn’t have a mold problem! For the home to be rehabilitated, Shane and I speculated that they will have to completely gut the interior. I hope someone will see the value in this unusual home and decide to preserve it. Wouldn’t it be a great little home to furnish with MCM furniture and decor? I wish I could get a grant from somewhere to make it an art project...a living art installation of a Lustron MCM home! How cool would that be? I could rent it out for Notre Dame home football weekends, no problem. The kitschy design would be a big draw and....

Well, that’s not going to happen. I wish I could do something like that. If I ever win the lottery and blah blah blah. Fun to think about, though!

After bidding Shane a fond auf wiedersehen, it was back to Nutwood, where I got a few more things together for our upcoming Chicago weekend (we’re heading up tomorrow). Yay, Chicago! I’m not sure how much I’ll be posting on here over the weekend, but I’ll try to squeeze in a brief update or two. Firm plans are a Cubs-Cards game on Saturday (look for us behind third base, in about the fourth row...great seats!) and a visit to the Art Institute on Sunday. Hopeful plans are dinner and great music at Buddy Guy’s Friday night (if we can get in). After the game on Saturday, it will probably just be a casual sports bar in Wrigleyville for a bite and beverages. We’re going with my sister Diana and my brother-in-law Tom, and we’re looking forward to a good time. I went up with Tom and Di and my sister Sue last year for a Cubs game, but Ken and I realized that we have never been to a Cubs game together! We have been at Wrigley Field together, for the Springsteen show, but never for a game.

Like Harry Caray used to say, nothin’ beats fun at the ol’ ballpark, and I guarantee that we’re going to have fun in the Friendly Confines!

Coward

Remember back in the summer of 2009 when the teabaggers descended upon town hall meetings conducted by their local Congresscritters, and got all up in their grills about the Affordable Care Act? Ken and I went to one that our Congressman at the time Joe Donnelly (now one of Indiana’s Senators) held, and he handled himself pretty well. The place was packed, and although a few people got a little angry, it didn’t get too crazy.

Well, it’s that time of year again, the August recess, time for all the Congresscritters to come home and talk to their constituents, get an idea of what they’re thinking and how they’re feeling about things like health care reform, immigration reform, tax reform, whateverthefuck reform...whatever is on our minds, this is when they come back to put their finger on the pulse of their constituency and get an idea of how we all feel.

So my friend Dan and I are planning on attending one of the town halls held by our Congresscritter, Representative Jackie Walorski. We’ll probably both take notes, and I might even ask a question about why Congress has wasted about $50 million on 40 repeal votes, when it has no chance of going anywhere in the Senate, let alone President Obama agreeing to repeal the signature achievement of his Presidency. I think Dan and I will enjoy it, because we’re both really into politics, and maybe we can even have lunch afterwards, and....

Wait, what? What’s that you say? Representative Walorski has no town hall meetings scheduled? She’s not coming out to talk to us? Only “her staff” is going to be available at a couple of the offices for a brief time frame in order to hear from her constituents?

What’s up with that?

My guess would be that someone doesn’t want to face their constituents and have to answer to both the right and the left. The right because she’s being shifty on immigration issues, and the left because she’s...well, she is pretty much antithetical to everything we stand for.

Rep. Walorski was happy to get tea party support, but file this under “They can dish it out, but they can’t take it.” They sure loved harassing Rep. Donnelly about his health care vote, but Walorski and her teabaggin’ buddies run from any confrontation from the other side.

Isn’t that typical of a bully, though? Talk shit, and then when confronted with someone who is willing to fight back and not take their shit anymore, they run off with their tails between their legs like the cowardly curs they are. You see it all the time. It’s especially disgusting to see it in an elected official, though.

Sometimes it pays to have attitude

I was listening to Green Day while working out today—shocking, I know!—and I was on the elliptical while the song “The Grouch” played. It made me laugh, because it’s such a misanthropic song, but I love its attitude.



I was a young boy that had big plans
Now I'm just another shitty old man
I don't have fun and I hate everything
The world owes me, so fuck you

Glory days don't mean shit to me
I drank a six pack of apathy
Life's a bitch and so am I
The world owes me, so fuck you

Wasted youth and a fistful of ideals
I had a young and optimistic point of view

I've decomposed, yet my gut's getting fat
Oh my god I'm turning out like my dad
I'm always rude I've got a bad attitude
The world owes me, so fuck you

The wife's a nag and the kid's fucking up
I don't have sex `cause I can't get it up
I'm just a grouch sitting on the couch
The world owes me, so fuck you

Glory days don't mean shit to me
I drank a six pack of apathy
Life's a bitch and so am I
The world owes me, so fuck you

I love the way Billie Joe sings the word “man.” It’s more like “mehhhn” and it’s pure snot-nosed punk sneer. I really don’t feel this way. I’m not all that cynical or grumpy; I’m not rude or apathetic; I can say with certitude that I love to have fun and I don’t hate everything; and I absolutely don’t feel like the world owes me! But I really do love the attitude of this song, and I can say that there are times when I have an attitude of my own.

I try not to let it get out of control, but I was thinking as I was ellipticalling that it does come in handy at times. What sprang immediately to mind is how Ken and I quite smoking several years ago. A friend of ours and his wife are working on quitting, and they seem to be through the worst of it. I’ve been trying to be a source of support, because I know how tough it is.

I can’t remember the exact date we quit, but it was in August, and I believe it was seven years ago! I have had no desire to ever start again, and I don’t miss it at all. I still have those weird, sporadic cravings once in a while, but they last a matter of seconds and then they’re gone. I don’t expect those ever to go away. (My Dad told me that even after 30 years or so after he quit, he’d still reach to his shirt pocket to pull out a cigarette!)

Attitude really helped me when I was quitting, because my thought process was something like, “Oh yeah? I’ll show you, Cigarettes. You aren’t the boss of me!” It was like the smokes were up in my face and I was getting right back in THEIR face, and even poking them in the chest. “Oh yeah? Yeah? You want a piece of me?” And I beat them. Beat them right into submission. Damn straight!

I hesitate to say that anyone who doesn’t quit smoking is weak, because I understand what a powerful addiction it is. I really loved to smoke. But I came to recognize that it was a psychological crutch for me, and once I figured out that I was stronger than that, it was a very empowering moment. I remember my Mom telling me, “Beth Anne, you’re a really strong-willed person. I can’t believe that you will let those cigarettes keep ruling your life.” She was absolutely right, and I know that her and Dad were really proud of us for quitting.

So to our friends, or anyone else out there who wants to quit, just get a little Billie Joe Armstrong attitude, and to paraphrase the Thunder Song in the movie “Ted”: “Fuck you smoking, you can suck my dick!”

Summer revels

First, thanks to everyone who expressed support here and on Facebook about my last entry. Knowing that you guys care and hate the BS as much as we do means more than you can imagine.

No worries about us. This is stuff that we’ve suspected for a long time, and having it confirmed is actually a bit of a relief. We know now that we weren’t imagining the manipulation; it really happened. We will keep on keepin’ on, just like we always do! Team Nutwood is strong!

Seeing all the supportive comments made me wonder (even more) about anyone who would consider my friends “minions.” I guess the concept of having true friends is beyond anyone who has to rely on unknown blog commenters as a source of support and friendship. Incidentally, “true friends” is the code phrase used between the blog author and “Stuart” so that he would know the blog author was writing about him. Awww, isn’t that cute? Maybe I should start up code phrases with some of you! [talking out of the side of my mouth] “Don’t eat the watermelon. Mr. Smith says it’s spoiled.” I will respond only if you give me the appropriate counter-phrase. Heh.

Anyway, that’s silly stuff, although still kind of funny. The truth is that this person no longer has any leverage over us. Perhaps that is what is fueling the anger, jealousy, and obsession—they know that they have no power any longer. Hell if I know. But the threats are idle and impotent. We’ll go about our business of having fun and living our lives, and if they continue to obsess over us, then it’s no skin off of my back!

Now...onward to fun stuff! The weekend is only half over, but it’s already shaping up to be a dandy. The weather is wonderful, and while Ken ran some errands he needed to take care of this afternoon, I got my workout in and then got some good outdoor deck time. We plan on grilling both nights. Tonight was hamburgers, corn on the cob, zucchini and onions, all on the grill. Tomorrow will be steak, salads, and potatoes. It seems like the summer is starting to wind down...I’m already noticing that the angle of light on the deck is starting to change. We’re happy to have a weekend at home to just enjoy Nutwood and the great weather. We’re heading up to Chicago next weekend, and soon Notre Dame football will be starting. These summer weekends are dwindling quickly, and I’m trying to soak up as much fun as possible while I can!

During my workouts lately, I’ve been listening to some vintage Green Day. Vintage, like 20 years ago...hard to believe! Yesterday was “Insomniac,” and today was “Nimrod.” It’s been quite a few years since I listened to these, and other than the hits, I didn’t remember many of the songs. Today I was blown away by a song on “Nimrod”: “Last Ride In.”

Anyone who has been reading me for a while knows how much I love surf music. Whether it’s the pure stuff from the ‘60s or the modern stuff from the ‘90s and beyond, I love the whammy and the twangy guitar. Dick Dale or Los Straitjackets, it’s all good stuff. (Oddly enough, I’m not a huge fan of the Beach Boys...but I consider them more of a pop group than a surf band. Some might disagree.) I had completely forgotten about “Last Ride In,” which is absolutely a surf music song, with all the wistfulness and happiness that these songs bring to me. I was pleased to find the video and see that it has a bit of that “summer feel” to it, with some skateboarding and driving around in a super cool car. This song is the soundtrack for my weekend.

I hope your weather is as beautiful as ours is this weekend. If you play this song, turn it up and think sunny thoughts!

Letters…I get letters

I recently got a few verrrrry interesting emails, with a couple of big em-effin’ attachments.

It seems that someone has been quite naughty and telling tales out of school!

Let’s see. How to word this? I got a rather bizarre email from someone saying that they had found my email address through my blog, and they felt they had to write to me and tell me what was going on. It seems this person had stumbled upon a blog that he found interesting due to some common issues, and he began an email correspondence with the blog author. It didn’t take long for him to get an earful about me and Ken.

I didn’t respond much to this person. Mostly just “thanks for the information.” I’m not sure what kind of soap opera was happening there, but I can tell you that I do not dig soap operas, and I don’t like having them dumped in my lap. I also found the tone more than a little odd, with talk of “atonement,” and some stuff about telling me because he was so ashamed that he had sinned by participating in malicious gossip. Whew. Okay, whatever. I did say that since he found my email through this blog, it’s obvious that I...you know...write a blog...and I would be writing about this. He said he understood and that was part of his “penance” (!!!), but please don’t use his real name due to some ongoing legal issues. Fair enough, so I shall call him...Stuart.

Apparently, this blog author told Stuart all kinds of nasty things about me and Ken, and said that I am constantly writing bad things about them and their family. If writing about music, movies, books, and politics is writing bad things, then I guess I’m guilty as charged! Unfortunately for the blog author’s case, they sent Stuart here to my blog, as well as to my Twitter account, and he found my YouTube account on his own. He wrote that he saw a very different picture than what was portrayed to him...that it seemed that I was the one being harassed. He was told that I was following this blog author on Twitter, but I am not; they are following me. I guess ol’ Stuart got a bit of an epiphany after checking things out for himself.

He decided to send me all the emails that this blog author wrote to him. He said he saved them all, something about God telling him to save them. Okayyyy. There were some quite interesting things said, things that don’t exactly jibe with reality.

• When Ken left, he said that he “didn’t want to be a father.”
  
• He took every dime and left without providing any way to pay for housing or food. I guess that $3200 each month just wasn’t enough, and after the blog author remarrying two months later, $1600 a month wasn’t enough either.
  
• When Ken left, the blog author “didn’t see another dime (for 7 years) until I took him to court for a child support increase.” See above. $1600 per month. That’s lots of dimes.
  
• Ken refused to pay for band fees, new eyeglasses, clothing, his half of one kid’s braces...all complete lies.
  
• Ken left them without health insurance. Health insurance was provided through the time specified.
  
• After letting one kid use a chainsaw while here (didn’t happen...EVER), Ken told the other kid to go inside and do “women’s work” with me. This is completely laughable. Like I would ever be on board with calling certain chores “women’s work,” or have a partner who felt that way!
  
• It was admitted that Ken’s phone calls were never answered...on purpose. Calls were screened, and if it was our number, the phone wasn’t answered.
  
• When asked for advice about talking to a child about visitation, the blog author wrote, “If he sees and hears from you that you really don’t want him to go, then he’ll reflect that back.” So this person admits to manipulation of the kids.
  
• Apparently, I was a problem from the day that Ken married me...I objected to money being taken out of my “play fund.” Also a complete lie. According to this person, I am “evil and wicked,” and I convinced Ken to leave his faith, switch political parties, and estranged him from his children.
  
• The blog author wrote that they were living an “existence of revenge.”
  
• It was admitted that the blog author feels hatred for me. Also that they are jealous of us. The blog author feels that I am “always aiming my words” at them. Paranoid much? Egotistical much?
  
  

Honestly, I’m surprised that tongue doesn’t just leap out of that mouth and run screaming down the hallway, because this is complete and utter BULLSHIT. And that blog author knows it. I thought the Republican party was the master of revising history, but there’s a new delusional sheriff in town!

This person gave out our full names, our general location, and steered Stuart to my social network sites. Granted, since I have a social network presence, my name and location are out there. But I really don’t appreciate a total stranger being directed to my information. I have to wonder at someone who is so desperate and needy that they feel the need to strike up a personal correspondence with a stranger, but it seems that their appetite for the chance to talk some shit about me and Ken trumped their judgment. It’s a terrible thing to have zero impulse control. If I’ve learned anything from blogging for going on seven years, it’s that you don’t engage with complete strangers, not on a personal level. I don’t have a huge following on here, but I have enough visitors to exercise caution when dealing with commenters that I don’t know. I hope that at least that blog author didn’t give out any personal information, like the kids’ names and ages, or their cell phone number. Oh...wait....

I guess someone forgot how to Internet. Oops!

Prince questions your judgment.

There was also a lot of weird stuff.

• The blog author still cries, “to this day,” over the loss of Ken.
  
• A special “code phrase” so that Stuart would know when the blog entry was about him. Ooo, spy shit! The Fat Man sleeps at midnight!
  
• A paragraph about a husband and wife at church, exchanging glances, shushing the kids as they color on the church programs, and coming home to a perfectly roasted leg of lamb, sitting in front of the fire with a brandy...go ahead and look at the Prince thing again. It is applicable for this.
  
• One thing they wrote that I can agree with: “Pretty comes from within.” Very true words.
  
• Stuart’s emails made the blog author feel like “a young girl on a summer’s day, twirling in a party dress.” Yep, back up to the Prince GIF again. Twirling! In a party dress! Seriously?
  
  

I’m going to address the blog author directly here: When you commented on my YouTube video a while back, I suggested that you get help, because you need it. Your response was “Fuck you.” I suggest that you revisit my idea. Your level of obsession and jealousy is out of control, and apparently your own family has questioned your behavior. If you don’t want to get help for your own sake, do it for your family’s sake. If your attitude and obsession is causing problems in your own home, then any person with an ounce of self-awareness would recognize that and take steps to correct it. Especially a “fucking psychology graduate,” as you put it. The fact that you were so willing to engage with this commenter and so willing to tell lies about both me and Ken shows that you have not moved on, in any way, shape, or form. You still seem to have feelings for Ken, and you seem to have an irrational and obsessive hatred of me. Surely you realize that is not normal...right? And you DO realize that Ken paid monthly child support, and never missed a payment...right? You have to remember that, so why are you lying?

You got busted. You got busted BIG TIME. We now know that our fears of you manipulating the kids are founded, and that your bitterness, hatred, and jealousy led you to alienate the kids from their father, or as you like to call him, the “Sperm Donor.” Charming. So there you have it. Good luck with your life. As a good friend of ours once said about you, “She’s bitter and boring. And I don’t do bitter and boring.”

Oh, and one more thing, she said in her best Lieutenant Columbo voice.

115 pounds?

One hundred and fifteen pounds?

What do you say, Dr. Evil?

Beth’s Books: Rebecca

I recall this being a favorite when I read it many years ago—probably at least 25 years ago. I picked it up as a used book recently, because I thought it would be fun to read again.

I was right...it WAS fun to revisit! But I found that I had a very different reaction to it than I did the first time around. What didn’t change is the beautiful writing from Daphne du Maurier, as well as that it is a great gothic tale of love, loss, and murder. Maxim de Winter remains charming, if a little aloof, and I was reminded of Laurence Olivier’s portrayal of Maxim in the movie. (Which was perfect!) Mrs. Danvers is as creepy and obsessed as ever, and I found myself reading of her obsession with an expression that could only mean “Holy crap, this old broad is batshit crazy!” There is the great story of Maxim falling in love with a young girl and whisking her out of her dreary, working life to his famous estate, Manderley. It doesn’t matter how old you get, it’s still fun to think about being swept off of your feet, don’t you think?

What did change for me was my reaction to the unnamed young girl that Maxim marries. She is the narrator of the book, and I think it’s interesting that her name is never revealed. Maybe there are deeper meanings to that...perhaps it’s to make her somewhat of a non-entity, a minor personality although the book is written from her perspective. I don’t know, but it strikes me as different and unusual. This time around, I found her absolutely infuriating. She is timid, weak, insecure, and paranoid. She spends her time worrying that people are talking about her, laughing behind her back, judging her, and finding her not good enough. She lets herself be intimidated by virtually everyone, and she is certain that Maxim still loves Rebecca, and that she can never measure up to the standards that Rebecca set.

I’m not kidding, I wanted to grab her and shake the snot out of her.

I had to keep reminding myself that this book was published in 1938; that it was a different time; that she was a paid companion to an old bat, suddenly thrust into a situation where she was the lady of a huge English estate. I realized all that...and I still wanted to shake the snot out of her. Of course, anyone who has read the book or seen the movie knows that she finally grew a pair and managed to ditch her inferiority complex. Until that happened in the book, I was constantly rolling my eyes and thinking, “Oh, for Pete’s sake...stand up for yourself!”

I found it fascinating that I had such a different reaction this time around. My friend Bonnie on Facebook commented that the book hasn’t changed; I have. That is exactly right, and I think it’s very cool to revisit a book you read when you were younger and see if your perceptions of it have changed. I often hear people mention Catcher in the Rye in this regard; feelings about Holden Caulfield often change as you get older. I wouldn’t know about that, because for some weird reason, that was never a book I read in high school. It totally escaped me. It was only a couple of years ago that I read it, and I found Holden self-absorbed and lacking sympathy for others. I don’t doubt that if I’d read it when in high school or college, I would have found him a rather romantic, rebellious figure. In my late forties, I just found him to be a young prick with feelings of entitlement.

I’m happy to say that I still find Rebecca a ripping good yarn. A good story matters, as does good writing, and the book has both. I’m happy I read it again.

I’m thinking that if I want to revisit another favorite from my youth, I might have to read The Bell Jar again. I read that several times in high school, and I loved it. I wonder what I’d think of it now? I’ll let you know when I find out!

How about you? Are there any books that you loved when you were young and reread as an adult? What was your experience? Did you find your perspective had changed? Did you love it all over again, or hate it this time around? I think it’s really amazing how a few years under your belt can really change your perspective on situations and characters.

The Brain That Wouldn’t Shut Up

I had one of those restless nights last night that I think most of us have every so often.

I went to bed early and read for a while. Of course, ‘early’ for me is relative...I was asleep by about 1 AM. I conked out pretty good, but had a lot of weird dreams, including one in which I was in bed and very restless. Never doubt...dreams CAN come true! Then we got a fairly heavy rain, and although that’s usually a soothing sound to me, it served to wake me up this time.

Then it was game on. That damn brain of mine would not shut up.

This wasn’t one of those dark nights of the soul, in which you think about all the stupid things you’ve done, or the things you could have done better, or the things that make you go, “What the hell was I thinking?!”. A few of those thoughts crept in, as they inevitably do, but this was mostly thinking about cards I need to write, stories I want to write, what I’m going to make for dinner tonight, how I need to stop by on the way home from the grocery store and get a picture of that service station that appears to be a Lustron building before they tear it down for the new highway I should get some zucchini at the store because we can probably barbecue this weekend and don’t forget the sangria where’s Sheeba probably in the basement because it’s raining so hard but maybe I could get back to sleep if he came in and snuggled up with medon’tforgettodrythatloadoflaundryinthewasherdon’tforgettounloadthedishwasherhopeitclearsupthisafternoonwhatshouldItaketoChicagomanIreallyneedtovacuumEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

*BOOM*

Total brain overload. When Ken got up to get ready for work, I laid there for a couple of minutes wondering if I could go back to sleep, and Brain said, “Pfft. Don’t even think about it. Get your ass out of bed.” So I did, and that’s how I came to be up at 6:30 AM and posting a blog entry around 8 AM.

It’s not all bad, although my eyes feel tired and red-rimmed. I was able to see Ken off to work, I got a New York Times interview with President Obama read (I’d been meaning to get it read for several days now), I got a good jump on the day, and I should be able to get several things accomplished today. Right now, it’s tempting to curl up on the couch and take a little nap. Thanks a lot, Brain...NOW you want to shut up! But I’m going to putter around here and then get out to the grocery store early and see what all I can get done today.

Just watch...tonight, Brain will keep me up until 4 AM or some shit like that. What a smartass.